Just popping in for an update. I hope everyone had a good TG. TG and BF were paid Holidays for me and I took Wednesday as a vacation day, giving me a 5 day weekend, which was so nice and definitely needed. We have had a busy busy hiring season and a lot of work has been done our first semester. I am also taking a week off before Christmas and really looking forward to it.
Wednesday was just for me to do whatever I well pleased. Thursday M and I went to my B's house and helped SIL with the meal. It was a nice, cozy TG this year with the exact amount of folks to fit around the main table. B and SIL and their S18 and S21, myself and S17, D20 and S22, and my M. BF I ran around for a while with my SIL although we didn't head out super early and were more there to just browse and see what we might come across. It's been kind of hard to shop for these young adults, lol. We did find a great gift for M. Later in the day, my nephew 18 was in a car accident and totaled his car. He's ok and the other car's occupant was ok, but he's sad about the loss of his car. He's working on getting his CDL, thankfully the accident didn't interfere with his ability to get that.
Saturday was all about cleaning and catching up on the home and yesterday I decorated for Christmas, which was a delight to do and I found myself realizing that this season full of triggers from BD is not nearly as tough to navigate so far as it has been in the past 7 years.
Update on the kids:
At Thanksgiving dinner, S22 announced that he got a new job. He had taken an EMT course in May and he would love to get on an ambulance service but he's taken a job at a dialysis center and he's super excited for the opportunity. They were super impressed with him and I could see a new confidence in his demeanor. He has given his old work plenty of notice, which also, in turn, impressed his new work and has them respecting him more as well. And he won't be burning any bridges.
D20 and Niece 19 are super excited because they got Taylor Swift tickets for next July so they've been on cloud 9. They have been planning the logistics of their first solo trip. D20 will be D21 when that happens. We also discussed and started planning S17's Graduation trip for next Summer, which will happen first, in mid-June. I also can't remember if I mentioned that D20 got a raise. She was super responsible and went to the owners and asked for a raise, which is something completely out of her comfort zone. She would like to move out of S22's house and get a place with Niece 20, but the rental market is ridiculous so they haven't found anything great yet. In order to do that, though, she needed to make just a little bit more. Her boss absolutely does not want to lose her for somewhere else, so she made that happen. She also told them she was happy to pick up whatever extra hours they could give her.
S17 has been doing fabulous at the Fire Station. He seriously works so hard and so many hours. I've gotten to where I go to bed and don't wait up for him and tell him to just stick his head in my room to tell me he's home because I can't keep waiting up for him and function the next day. I do not worry about him on the job, only when he is driving to and from work is when I worry. I sometimes worry that he's being so responsible that he's missing out on being a kid and that will come back to bite him later. Lots of people tell me that not all youngsters need to run wild. I think working for the Fire Station makes him realize the true consequences of doing stupid things. Also, taking him to Germany where he was able to drink responsibly maybe helped too, so he doesn't have that wild urge to party it up. They really love him at the Station and if all goes well, he could become a Probationary right after graduation. He debated graduating in December, but the paid student internship isn't looking to run out of funds with their grant until the Spring, and he is going to start concurrent enrollment with EMT courses at the Community College that will be paid for by the District so it makes sense to wait to graduate. He wanted to know what he should do and I told him that it was his decision but that he should weigh all the pros and cons and then he would be satisfied with the decision he made.
He is even responsible with most of the money he's made, putting into savings, purchasing study books for his trade and new boots and EMT pants, etc. The rest he spends on food lol. I don't blame him for that one, he's burning a lot of calories doing what he does.
M has good moments and rough memory moments. We've had a few struggles, she did get upset with me the other day, although I think she was upset with herself for forgetting a very long conversation we had together. I was helping her sign up for a Medicare Advantage Plan, but we didn't know that the one she picked she would be assigned a new doctor or have to choose one in their network. We were not happy to find out that she cannot use her regular doctor and so we are trying to figure out what our options are or if we have to wait until Jan-Mar to pick a different plan. I guess by the time I need Medicare I will be a pro at it. After she stormed out of my room the other night, I sat down with my B and SIL for lunch and asked for help. I am in the day-to-day care with M so I explained that I needed someone that I could tell my M to ask for help when it comes to some things, so that she doesn't blame me or think I am incompetent, etc. Also, I am only available to have conversations in the evening's when I'm off work, and evening's are not a great time with someone who has memory issues, possibly early dementia. And to be honest, I was exhausted thinking about how many hour and a half long conversations I would have to repeat another evening because she had forgotten them. I could definitely use a shoulder or some loving advice from anyone who has gone or is going through something similar with their parents on how to navigate this. My B's hours have recently been reduced to 32 so he is going to be available a little more right now too. I think she grew up in the era where men often made the decision and so I think it will be good to defer to him and tell her she can call him for help, then I can be reliable to her in the day-to-day different way.
We aren't to the point that I worry about her safety while I'm gone, but I am not sure how fast she is going to slip so we need to lock a few things in before then. Some days, the road ahead seems overwhelming, and other days I feel like a real live Wonder Woman.
But, with everything else in my life, at this point I don't see any room for dating, nor does the thought truly appeal to me right now. In fact, it sounds downright exhausting lol. Maybe down the road, we will see. Honestly, I am truly content with life right now. I like my job, my kids are great, we plan trips together and I can make decisions without factoring a spouse into the equation. However, with truly the right partner, things would just come together and fit naturally I think. So I won't completely factor it out. However, it's up to God to make something happen if it is supposed to because I am not out looking, nor am I online dating, lol. Like I said, exhausting. Ha!
Living Through The Ghost
Author
Topic: