[FrenchHusband]

I think SS's OM story has got to be the craziest yet on HS MadLuv, he's actually in prison for what he did to SS's wife!! Totally nuts.

Craziest OM story on this forum, yes likely. And also for me a big lesson : amongst us LBS, I daresay Standing Strong is on top for not snooping, not trying to "do something" regarding OP-spouse relationship. So what happens in his life shows me that "no action" is sometimes the best, from far. In the past I believed I could do something benefitial by "acting". I was wrong.

Thanks for updating us ! 

[Standing Strong]

Journaling:

Almost time for the next vacation!! WoooHoooo!! 
Lots going on......

W returned from her vacation - this time meeting her mom while she was on vacation in Canada. She was texting, sending pictures, telling me the things I'd like (if I was there)...... Where her mind is, is turning. Missing the dog..... but also missing me (without directly saying it).
She asked multiple times if we could go somewhere for a long weekend and take the dog...... Very good sign, the dog is a shield (for her and for me...HAHAHAHHAHA). Almost at the end!!! Almost at the patching back together part, if we want to sew.
The smiles and laughter..... and ease she has now. It's so nice to see. She's staring at me all the time now. I'm not returning the looks, just glances.

On the South America front, the fourth person is also going to plead guilty - so that makes all four of the group accounted for in the scheme to get money from her. The condo has been paid for - so it's totally gone.
I asked W if her dates for going down there at Christmas were locked in, and she let me know she's not going. Maybe in the new year but as of now she's electing to be home for the holidays!! Wow..... 1st time since MLC began (excluding the one year COVID delayed her trip - which she still took). Big changes.  It will be very interesting to see how this Christmas goes, and how putting up a Christmas tree works since there's pinball machines there now. HA!!!!
Also interesting is I already have a Vegas trip scheduled for Dec and March....... will she ask to join in one (or both)? It'll be interesting to see. Maybe after the long weekend puts her a ease. I have a feeling the next year will feature a change in travel.

Speaking of pinball, I ordered my third machine (for next year). HAHAHHAHAAHA. She's snapping out of MLC and probably thinking "What has happened? What are these things in the living room?". 
So I'm off to a pinball show for a week (next week), and knocking off a bucket list item by flying 1st class for the very first time. It was only a tiny bit more - and I've always wondered what it'd be like....... I'm about to find out!!! How exciting!!!
I'm also going to do a pizza tour with a friend who lives there (another bucket list item).

My mom has been complaining about never going anywhere, and so I've been trying to get her to try Vegas..... and she has resisted. Oh mom, you'll never go anywhere if you never go anywhere. HA!!!
I did however get her and dad interesting in going to the Ark Encounter in Kentucky.... and it looks like we will all go in Aug. Very exciting!! And W is the wildcard. Will she go? She's still terrified of facing my family. Time will tell. HA!!!

The little dog is so happy to see his momma again - his favorite person. If we do a long weekend together soon, he'll be going on an adventure too..... and that'll be marvelous.

Big things, big movement.

One day at a time,

-SS

[Biscuit]

Hi SS,

Great update my friend. What a lot you’ve had going on - and even more cool stuff to look forward to in the coming months!!
3rd pinball machine - yikes! You’ll be able to turn free play off and invite people in to play them for $. Hell, you’ll be opening up a fully fledged arcade soon enough.
Anyway, life sounds like it’s fantastic for you atm!

Or and you can always Sid the Christmas tree and hang the fairy lights and baubles off the pinball machine - very festive!


B x

[OffRoad]

I'm with Biscuit. Deck the (pin) balls with boughs of Holly. They already have the lights

[Standing Strong]

HAHAHAAH, instead of a Christmas tree - a Christmas pinball (tree).... I love it 

Back from vacation and now journaling:

The pinball show was awesome, so much fun. The feet weren't happy about it, but they'll get over it. HA!!! 
I've missed the little dog, and I'm headed to go pick him up from my mom's in a little bit.
I was able to see the next pinball machine that's been ordered - ooohhhhh boy, it's beautiful.
1st class domestic airfare was.... nice, but it wasn't some gigantic homerun. Checking that off the bucket list.
Super stoked to get back to dieting and working out......... but the food I had while there..... oh yeah, it was good. A local friend went on a pizza tour with me, and it hit four places in downtown Chicago. Two were fantastic, and two were meh..... but it was a lot of fun. It blows my mind how BIG a city Chicago is. Downtown is sooooo large. Too big for me I think, but if I was in my 20's I'd have found it really exciting and wanting to live there. 

On to W..... more and more talkative. She was texting a lot..... and I think her impression is "we're talking again!!", and I know this because the thought has occurred to me (and I'm resistant). So.... movement. More and more stories out of her..... more and more recalling of memories. Quite sharp actually. Even back to recalling past event dates with great accuracy (like she hadn't forgotten them at all).
She also cleaned while I was away (again), this time making the kitchen look new. That was very nice of her. This morning we were watching Shrek in bed, and she was laughing at all the jokes...... really laughing. It's nice to see someone healed, and themselves again...... and not just "Me, Me, Me!!!! Let's talk about ME!!!!"  .

On to the little dog!!! Oh I miss him. He got to play with my sisters kids a few times this week, so he's had a good time.

Back to life for a couple months, and then back to Vegas. HA!!! 

One day at a time,

-SS

[HeavenlyFocus]

Hi SS,

I love Chicago and my sister lives in one of the suberbs there.  Your story always makes me smile and it is so great to see you enjoying life while your W starts to blossom again.

Enjoy the new pinball machine when it arrives.

HF

[FaithWalker]

Sounds like you had a fantastic vacation SS.  Vegas will be fun too!

[Standing Strong]

Journaling (from the other side of MLC?)   

Well, I had a moment the other day which was very odd. Kinda slapped me in the face, figured I should share it.
W has been.... well.... good. You know: quiet, "normal", that sorta stuff..... which is nice, don't get me wrong.
About six weeks ago I went on vacation, and came back to a clean house. Nice.
Two weeks ago I was on a different vacation and came back to a super clean kitchen. Very nice.
Very obvious she put some work into both. Some for her of course, but I get the feeling it was mostly for me. Her way of "helping" and showing whatever it is she's trying to show.

Well, the other night I had casually mentioned that the birds were being difficult and not wanting to go to bed. Later on I went downstairs to take care of them like I do every night..... and they had been covered and put to bed. Wow. It's a small thing, but it's been years..... you know?
She had also put things away in the kitchen after I had cooked, and thrown trash away...... I do all the cooking, and..... MLC..... I do all the cleaning, and take care of everything..... but not this night. It was, well, it was weird!!! At first my reaction was defensive: "Why did she do this? What I can't do it right?" HAHAHAHAHAHA..... and almost instantly I realized..... she was helping. Confused I thought "What? Helping? Why?"...... and then I slowly remembered: "Oh yeah, that's what people do for each other"....... an even a stranger sensation as this crossed my mind.

I felt I should mention it because (at least in my case) I've become so independent, and everything has been so one-way for so long..... I couldn't remember what it was like to have someone do something nice, and not point it out, not want something in return, not throw it in my face. Just something done, and that was it. Consideration. Genuine consideration. SUPER WEIRD!!! I can't even say I liked it...... it's just so darn WEIRD.

But it does make me understand something, experience something I've never understood until now - and I'm very thankful to see it.
You know when you do something for someone - a co-worker, a stranger, a homeless person...... someone...... doing something nice and not want anything in return, and they look at you with suspicion, with pause, and wonder what it is you really want..... and then slowly realize you want nothing as you depart. Now I get to see what that is like.... even if just for a moment, over something very trivial. It does make me wonder for a moment.

I can also see how my life has been devoid of such things. Kindness always seemingly in short supply and always in great need with just about everyone - it's always been my place to generate it, and hand it out. I'm not short of it, because I can make it: thus I've never needed to receive it. When you have something in abundance, it seems to have less value because it's so easy to take for granted, even when you know it has worth. How strange to be both rich and poor all at the same time in that material.
Such a wonderful thing to receive kindness. I can vagally remember what life was like when W and I traded it with regularity. It seems like so long ago..... I guess it was.

Just the musing of me.  HA!!!

One day at a time,

-SS

[OffRoad]

It was an interesting thing I discovered a while ago. When you are the one who gives all the time, you rob others of the joy of giving because they think you need nothing. And it becomes "weird" to be on the receiving end.

If I may, don't forget to say thank you for the help.   

P.S. Sounds very nice to have calm.

[AlvinTheMaker]

It was an interesting thing I discovered a while ago. When you are the one who gives all the time, you rob others of the joy of giving because they think you need nothing.

Along similar lines, if you are a "fast" housekeeper, then by doing things "now" instead of "later", you might rob the others a joy of participating.  At least for me its taken a lot of patience and learning to "slow down" a bit, so that others get a chance too.

Alvin