[Baxter1]

Thank you all. I’m going to hold off for a bit in responding. As for responding ‘I’ll call my lawyer’ I feel that this will add fuel to the fire. I know our financial situation, we’re not really in a position to pay for lawyers and whatnot. When we’ve talked in the past about me leaving the house  I could see pain in her eyes ,like it was a physical pain to be in the same house. Like escape and avoid in reverse, she wants me out so she can get relief.
I’m not going to leave, I’m going to protect home and kids. What happens happens.

[Baxter1]

Some Journaling
Thanksgiving was ok, she took the kids to her sisters place and I stayed home. The boys came back later and we watched a movie and hung out. It seems MLC holidays are way different, we’ve spent the last 24 Thanksgivings together, this will be our first one apart.

Other than that still an At Home MLCer, she locks herself in her room when she gets home. We talk/text with each other, but that’s about it. Still co-parent well and I feel pretty detached, she comes and goes as she pleases and I’m getting better with GAL.

 She’s still with the OA (original Alienator) and they just took a nice trip to Orlando together with her best friend and husband. I can’t imagine the best friend or husband were comfortable with this scenario. I know if I went on vacation with someone and their mistress I would feel pretty weird.

Hoping the holidays go well, I guess we’ll see. Shameless plug: I signed up for Stand Up and Thrive and it’s great! The videos are good but the weekly talks are awesome. Like here it’s a great community of people who get it, and Kendas there too sharing her wisdom.

[Baxter1]

Some journaling:

A part of GAL in taking some more trips and work is having me stay out of town as well. This space is good for both of us. It seems she is getting more angry, at a recent funeral she asked if I would drive in a separate car and signed the sign in book with her and the kids only. Communication is rare at best, a text or email occasionally.  At a recent trip to my in laws I was  informed that they are aware of what is going on and support me fully. It’s nice to have their support, we’re all still
In the house, which is nice.
She seems to be spending less and less time going out, maybe the Alienator is gone? Maybe she’s getting more depressed and doesn’t want to go out as much? I read 0% into this, the MLC mind is all over the place so who knows what all is going on. For now I’m keeping my head down and just trying to get through this.

[UrsaMajor]

If Alienator #<x> is gone and she is still plunging headlong into the tunnel, you can likely expect more and more monster as well as the appearance of Alienator #<x+1>.... More Monster because no one is there to give her the addictive shot of happy she so desperately needs and that i obviously your fault (therefore you are the target of the Monster) and X=X+1 because the Mid-Lifer needs that dopamine rush.... or they need to look inside and start doing their own work (which, only happens after a brutal trip to rock bottom a la Wile E Coyote..... )

[Baxter1]

UM, as per usual you’re right! Shes headlong I the tunnel for sure. Turns out A#1 is still around.
The deeper she gets into this crisis the more I understand (if that’s even possible). Seems like the core person is definitely gone. The glimpses I used to get are less frequent, the anger is getting more intense. That being said I accept the ‘process of MLC’, she has to get through this in her own time. Nothing I can do but stand back and stand by while she figures herself out. She has been cycling lately and is doing more at the house and is hone a lot more.

We are both still in the house with the kids. Me being in the house is a boundary to keep others out, also have financial boundaries so I’m not sponsoring her walk on the wild side. Other than that we each keep away from each other. As time goes on I’m told she will get angrier, and my situation will get worse. I’m still early in this game but I’m still standing.

[FaithWalker]

I hope despite all the waves from the crisis, that you were able to find some joy this Christmas Baxter1.

[Baxter1]

FW-

I was pleasantly surprised by Christmas. We were all together and watched the kids open their presents. She got me small nice things and I did the same for her. There was definitely some awkwardness but we worked through it and had a good day. She even made dinner, this was a welcome surprise, we don’t really have family dinners anymore. I make dinner for me and the kids and she comes by later and makes herself a plate.

I hope you are also enjoying the holidays, appreciate the check in!

[xyzcf]

So happy that you had a peaceful Christmas together. it helps to be able to have family time together...the kids "see" more than we give them credit for.

Enjoy this special time of year~

[Baxter1]

A little journaling:
W still at home, still high energy but has slowed down a lot over the last month or two. Still locks herself in the room when she gets home and conversations are rare at best. We still co-parent well and we’ve settled into the ‘new normal’
All that being said monster made a come back today! I haven’t seen monster in quite some time, I thought she forgot about me but nope, she’s back. W has been taking trips to parts unknown with who knows who( alienator has been confirmed). That being said I too have been taking trips to
Parts unknown with just me. It appears that when I go on trips I am a horrible person. So monster has a problem with me enjoying life, because why should I have any fun. In addition to that monster again asked me to move out. We were about due for that conversation, it is literally every two months, like clockwork. Good news is I stood my ground on both not moving(the person who wants out gets out) and still having fun( why should she have all the fun?).

That’s about it, just wanted to vent, 6 months ago I would have been floored by this but time does
Make you stronger, I now take it in stride.

[FrenchHusband]

Hi B1,

I am glad you are doing well ! It is funny how our spouses want us to be as bad as they are  .
Seems we are living Groundhog Day everyday, but as the hero of the movie, after the first shock we are slowly getting better and better