[FaithWalker]

Mine pirouetted around the kitchen singing "Let me go, Let me go" from Frozen - which was quite a sight whilst I was trying to cook the family dinner....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

"Let me go, Let me go, I can't hold it back anymore" - It was quite a good rendition actually and delivered with real venom.

I second that.  I was just reading that thinking "how bizarre"

That is a good example of a teenage stage MLCer if I ever saw one.

[mcm64d]

I forgot a good one that made me chuckle today. Not something said, but....

She was so mad one day shortly before BD and I couldn't understand why, but apparently it was because I stopped doing all the chores around the house that she abandoned (I saw she did this but I figured it was part of what was going on that made her nasty...didn't know MLC then).

Anyway she's running the vacuum and for some unknown reason she stopped and aggressively gave the vacuum the double middle finger. I think she did the buck tooth thing during it as well. I needed a good laugh today, but at the time I was really wondering WTH?

[FaithWalker]

That gave me a chuckle mcm64d 

[mcm64d]

A couple of more recent ones surrounding trying to get her to sign the sales agreement on the house after she made the buyers wait almost two weeks for inexplicable reasons if you follow logic....

a week before the mess below.....her: I need to get this settlement date moved forward, i cannot afford to pay half the mortgage until the end of February me: I havent asked to to pay anything for four months. Frankly don't want to deal with you. Her: ok I will sign the sales agreement tonight

A couple of ours later she has to wait until the signed property settlement agreement they drafted and sent is signed

A week later (all in the same day)
My realtor set a 3PM deadline before having to reach out to the buyers realtor and let them know that my wife refuses to sign the sales agreement. The buyers realtor reached out to mine and told her that they will have no other alternative now but to pass on buying our house. My wife's response: I want to make sure you know I have had my end set since November 20th (me thinking: then why not sign the sales agreement already?) I would like to wait until 3 like we originally agreed My response: You have all the time in the world as far as I am concerned but apparently the buyers aren't on your timeline.....

her: my lawyers (who drafted the property settlement agreement) need 1-3 days to grant and answer it before I can sign the sales agreement I ask my lawyer what that means "grant and answer"- he has no idea what that is supposed to mean.

my realtor asks what is that supposed to mean and at this rate she suggests pulling the house off market and letting the buyers know not to put their house on sale if they'd like to buy mine (as an offer on their house over that weekend would be really awkward). my wife:This is where we are at. I am going to declare Asking for one more week from the potential buyers thank goodness she made a declaration!!!!

I ask her in response: Where are we at??? her unfortunately I was told I would have a solid review by then. I cannot give anymore information other than this. There is nothing I can state.

My realtors response: trying to hold this sale together for you both, can you please get your lawyers to work on this, you are paying them to serve you.

My wife: They have not had the doc for 7 days. They just got it last evening (btw my lawyer dropped it off a day or two before that personally and has the receipt). I cannot give any other info other than 1-3 business days . in one text it went from 7 days to 1-3?? makes perfect sense.

so to recap....it went from not needing to have this property settlement agreement signed, to needing it signed, [to needing 1-3 days to grant and answer, to needing it signed and in possession of her lawyer for 7 days, to needing 1-3 business days to review the document THEY DRAFTED] with the section in brackets occurring on the same day within 3 hours.

[FaithWalker]

Oy vey!

Sorry you have to deal with this waffling.

[mcm64d]

I think it was in the same day my realtor called me and said in 22 years of selling houses and dealing with divorce, she has never had to deal with someone like my stbxw. The more people get to see it, the better I feel about myself.

[lost88]

I thought I would share part of my daily journaling as I read this post and laughed a little.

My specific examples is not what my wife has said but how her actions have changed greatly within the past two weeks. Granted, I’m not that far along since BD but the last two weeks, the rate of change of her relationship towards me, has been as aggressive as a brushfire.

Last week was my dad‘s birthday, and I had him over the house for a while, and my wife returned from work and stopping at the store. She walked in with fresh, blueberries, claiming how great they were and were very large and sweet. She walked right to my dad and offered him some and I was sitting right next to him, and there was no gesture for me.

After we opened our presents as a family Christmas morning, she offered to make the kids breakfast and anything they wanted. Sandwiches, eggs bacon pancakes she pulled out the griddle and a couple other kitchen items she rarely uses. I wasn’t offered anything and ended up cooking my own breakfast after she had finished. That’s never happened ever in our relationship regardless of who is there they all get offered something to eat.

The commute down and back to the in-laws was rather quiet. I’ve been sneezing a lot more lately and sneeze several times in the past couple of weeks and not once have a gotten a god bless you.
This is something she would always do in fact, for even strangers that were nearby

I pick myself up a brand, new jacket and a cool pair of shoes to wear for Christmas Eve thinking that she would notice and have to make a comment. It went unnoticed and was never mentioned, which is shocking to me, but it just shows how selfish and self-centered, her mind has become.

And last, but not least, the daily living has changed greatly. She will always make sure she’s on a separate floor of the house, unless she’s boarded in her room with a door closed. She takes every precaution to avoid me as quickly as she can. If I’m coming down the stairs and she plans on going up, she will stay in the kitchen to determine which way I’m going at the bottom of the stairs so she can go the other way and avoid us crossing paths. Escaping avoid at it’s finest

The distance and cold, I’m referring to an examples above have all increased greatly in the past 10 to 12 days. Nothing has changed with our relationship to make it more negative but obviously she’s going further along in her journey and becoming more secluded and escaping my presence. The lack of empathy has never been a part of her personality, and I can tell which cycle she’s in when I see her face and I look at those eyes. They’re usually or used to be vibrant, full of color and most of the time, at least, in my presence, they’re dark Hollow and almost look like sharks eyes .

I’m grateful and thankful for everyone here and how everyone can get strength from sharing their stories together. I’m especially grateful for those who have been through it, and choose to be a part of the community and giving back to help others like myself. I must admit, I’ve experience plenty of physical pain in my life, but the emotional pain and daily grind of a situation, like this is beyond my wildest imagination, I look forward to being in the rearview mirror and I’m completely uncertain how quickly that will occur. Obviously, I can make my own decision whether I would like to wait it out or accelerate things along for my life. Time will tell …..

[mcm64d]

I am sorry you are going through this Lost. Not sure whether or not I am luckier that she left right away but rest assured (you know what I mean) the change of behavior to cold and calculating is a very common theme for all of us. Doesn't make it any better, but could be seen as a relief to the self, the psyche.

[lost88]

Tks MCM - no one ever joins this club for a good time !!!!
Yeah, that’s the unfortunate thing is everyone’s advice and the way this progresses has been exactly spot on. It’s such a helpless position to be in, especially when you have a conversation and they just lie directly to your face. This is the biggest thing that I haven’t seen many people talk about are those dark shark eyes. It’s almost like they’re possessed. I can always tell the Moochies based upon the eyes and the pupils. I believe she’s getting ready for bomb2 which is likely moving out … shall see

[mcm64d]

Lost I have a tiny but of experience with changes in my MLCer. The night she left me I told her that I have not been able to talk to her lately (and subsequently she told me that she couldn't talk to me about the issues leading to this).

She was standing over me when I said that and her posture immediately changed as did her demeanor. She went out on the deck to sit. When I went out to see what was going on, she was blinking a lot. The look in her eyes and face was like someone was "not there". She ensued to pick a fight with me and tried to get me to agree that "we" were not happy. I wouldn't and she left, and the rest......well here I am.

She was very considerate in moving out, taking only what we would agree upon and if anything was taken that would upset me she would return it. And she was meticulous in how the house looked after taking things for her move. She made sure that the house still had a feel of home for me.

We met a few times after that and it was very civil. in fact, I gave her a hug that she let out this lovely "moan" over like she was so enjoying it. I actually thought this situation was temporary.

But as tiome went by, she went from having love and missing me to loving me as a friend to ilybinilwy to i don't love you to never missing me but only the cat and dinners to meeting up for her to unlease a monstering session (i didn't know what monstering was at the time) I had never seen from her before to telling me after that she could not be alone with me withpoout someone in the driveway....

The only reason I am recapping this is to let you know that changes occur all thought this in my case in her behavior. Then there would be moments where she seemed to genuinely care, like for instance my pharmacy made a mistake in medication claiming to have given me a 90 days supply. When she asked me what was wrong during a call, I explained that and she was so empathetic. Very confusing.

Hoping this is helpful in some fashion and though I am certainly no expert, just try to realize this is not about you and try to be as "you" as you can be through this.

Happy New Year friend.