[FaithWalker]

Yeah, I miss him so much and haven't gotten my phone call yet.  I've already decided I'll forgive him if he calls his F for his 10 second phone call as he probably knows I'll be a sobbing mess and it sounds like he will be shaken during that call to see how he deals with stress.  If he does end up calling me, I know how to respond and I'll try and hold it together until he hangs up.

I've been talking to xH a bit more since S20 has shipped out.  Grateful to him for sharing some info with me that he could have kept to himself.  Nothing like coming together over our kids.  A different type of reconciliation happens sometimes and I am pretty sure that's what we have.  Not a get back together type of reconciliation by any means and I'm just really feeling blessed for where we are now and what that looks like.  Not an invitation back into my inner circle but a good relationship seeing as we have kids together.

So, I started a going to a new Bible Study this week and the leader ended up being out of town so only 2 others showed up.  They were interested in hearing my story and it turns out that one of them just got totally devastated by a BD and cheating spouse after a 23 year marriage.  She had to sit in front of them at her child's sports game and he apologized to his AP that she was sitting there.  Yeah, he's totally following the script we all know about.  Apparently he's a school counselor for us and she works at one of the Admin buildings.  Not sure if it's my admin building or another as we have 3 others besides mine but I'm hoping it's not someone I have to have dealings with on a daily basis.

Thankfully I think I was able to help her some with my story and example of someone 10 years on.

[FaithWalker]

I got to hear from S20 today and talk to him for 45 minutes!  He's still in reception and most likely will start his training on Friday.  We will see!  He has hives.  He's not sure if from the inoculations or from something in the food.  He says it's been happening after breakfast so he was thinking maybe the oil they cook the potatoes with. He was able to take a nap and they went away after he slept. MOL is hoping that he didn't get her issues with hives, which is that she gets them when she's anxious or nervous.  I'm hoping that he won't have to deal with that much longer.  Poor kiddo. 

Nephew21 sent a snap to D23 with S20 in the background.  It was so strange seeing them with shaved heads, even though I knew it was happening.  S20 has a distinctive tattoo on his arm so if he's in short sleeves, I should hopefully be able to find him in any snapshots that they share as the boys are training.  Sounds like they are forming some friendships with the other boys in their group so far.  Not sure if these same ones will be in the same Troop or not.

He mentioned that he was multi-tasking during our call and texting D23, S25 and his F.  He was trying to feed each of us a little bit of different info so that we could then all share with each other.

I probably won't get to hear from him again for a while except for the quick call that he's started training, unless he gets stuck in reception for a bit longer than expected.

I had to chuckle today when I woke up.  We warned him about the humidity at his Ft.  We don't have that type of humidity here generally.  We are usually dry, dry, dry here.  But today when I pulled up the weather app we had 83% humidity.  He only had 63%. 

Crazy humidity, but then, everything has been crazy lately.  We had a storm Saturday with tons of marble sized hail.  I guess there was a tornado in Utah and it sent some crazy weather our way.  I had never heard of a tornado there before.  That's just crazy!

I hope everyone is safe and well.  Lots going on in this crazy world right now.

[FaithWalker]

Just a small update. S20 got picked up by a battalion last Friday and his BCT has begun.  I probably won't get to hear from him for a couple weeks unless he earns a phone call by winning a competition or something.  I miss him so much!  I sent of a letter Saturday once he called with the 10 second phone call to give me the information I needed to do that.  Then Saturday night I had a letter from him in my box!  Then I felt bad for nephew21 as his parents are out of the Country and won't be able to shoot off any letters to him until they get back.  So I sent him one Tuesday and then S20 another one at the same time as well, lol.  It will probably be a few more weeks before they will actually get to read them though, from what it sounds like the mail moves very slowly on base.

Nothing like having your kiddo go off to do something like this to draw his parents together a little bit.  More conversation with xH in the last few weeks than in a while.  The focus is of course on the kiddo and just a little bit of light and airy conversation on the side about each other.  Like talking to an acquaintance.  I will mention that he calls me and if I'm able I pick up the call or he will text me and ask me to call him when I am free to do so.  We are in a good place.  Which is nice as we will be drawn together, all of us a lot as we go to S20's ceremonies and such.  As of now, his parents and he and his wife and I are all planning to go out together to see S20's first ceremony (between Basic Training and AIT).

Not much else to update.  I worry about S20 constantly and he's not far from my thoughts.  This is hard on a mama!  D23 and S25 and I are planning on getting together this weekend as it's been a little bit since we've connected.  I think we will drive up Sunday and tour the fall colors happening around us and take a small hike in the beautiful mountains near us.  Today is S25's 2 year anniversary of dating his GF.  That went quick!

[FaithWalker]

Wow, it's been a bit since I've posted and lots to update but it will have to wait.  I'm reeling from reading about xyzcf's loss and need to process. 

I did want to mention that I lost my Lucy kitty December 11th, had to make the tough decision to have her put to sleep.  She brought me so much joy after MLC, it was hard to say goodbye and much too soon, I should have had another 10 years with her!   :'(

For those who followed me from the early years, you know how much joy she brought to our household post divorce.

Thinking of you all as this new year 2026 rolls in.  I have hit the official 10 year mark since BD as it happened December of 2015 and April will mark 10 years divorced.  Hard to believe it's been that long!

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

Yes the years do go by quickly. I am coming up on 16 years since bomb drop and I would have never ever imagined my journey to where I am right now.

Yes, Xyzcf's loss is great and I needed a lot of time to process as well. She is a remarkable person and like you, I was glad that she was able to be with him and support him in the his final months. Such a powerful story of both love and faith.

I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty as they really do bring joy to our lives.

I hope S20 is doing fine as well as the rest of your family. Please keep posting so we can all follow your fabulous journey through life.

(((Ready)))

[UrsaMajor]

Wow, it's been a bit since I've posted and lots to update but it will have to wait.  I'm reeling from reading about xyzcf's loss and need to process. 

I did want to mention that I lost my Lucy kitty December 11th, had to make the tough decision to have her put to sleep.  She brought me so much joy after MLC, it was hard to say goodbye and much too soon, I should have had another 10 years with her!   :'(

For those who followed me from the early years, you know how much joy she brought to our household post divorce.

Thinking of you all as this new year 2026 rolls in.  I have hit the official 10 year mark since BD as it happened December of 2015 and April will mark 10 years divorced.  Hard to believe it's been that long!

It HAS been a few years, hasn't it? our timelines are nearly identical.... BD in December 2015, D in April a few years later (for me) ... My dog will be 13 in July and is slowly fading with age so I know what you mean about the loss of the kitty as I am staring that one in the face .....

[FaithWalker]

Hello Ready and UM.

S20 is back.  I got a text from nephew21 a few weeks into training saying that they decided not to stay and were working on Chaptering out.  2 harrowing months with little information and contact and the biggest worries about how this decision was impacting them, they made it home just before Thanksgiving with an uncharacterized discharge.  This mama cried, prayed, paced the floor, aged a few years in a few months and then have run the gamut from disappointment of reversing their oath, to relief, and then guilt for that relief.  There was a lot that went on plus with the government shutdown that didn't help matters either.  They are now figuring out what's next and I am praying that they won't keep floundering.  The plus side was that I got to spend a lot of time with S20 at Christmas since he was home and I was off work.  I had some vacation days to "use or lose".

Mom is still home with me and she has some really good weeks and then she will have an off week, but seems to bounce back.  I've started really having to pay attention to solar storms and moon cycles as it's crazy, but those things do seem to effect her dementia.  More and more of the burden of managing all the things seems to fall to me, but will eventually show the need to either have someone in the home, send her to daytime care some of the time, or look into assisted living.  I am taking a vacation in April and have been arranging for some of my brothers and/or sister-in-laws to come stay with her while I'm gone.  I had a non-refundable, but transferrable ticket that I had planned on using to go to see S20's ceremonies but since he returned home, I changed it into a ticket elsewhere for fun. 

S25 and his gf of 2 years moved back into his house.  He took it off the market briefly and will return it to the market this Spring, hoping to have a better time of selling.  Unfortunately, it's hard to sell lately as no one can afford the cost of housing. 

I am looking forward to my vacation in April, but my life has fallen into a pretty predictable routine right now.  Until my burden of caring for M changes, this seems to be a period of buckling down and doing the things that need doing.  I do feel somewhat that I am setting aside my own hopes and dreams right now, but we do those things out of love for our loved ones, don't we?  That is why we are who WE are, and MLCers are who they are.  Not to say that somedays I don't feel like running away, but I am never in any real danger of doing so.   

[UrsaMajor]

"Chaptering out?" Things have changed a LOT since I was in then. Once you signed the contract you were in unless you a) had a medical issue that popped up, b) failed a drug test, c) proved yourself as incapable, or d) committed some sort of major infraction (i. e. crime under the UCMJ). One couldn't just "decide" they wanted out... I can see that this would have benefits in that the people that stay in are those that really WANT to stay in and potentially have a career.....

Being a primary caregiver for someone with emerging dementia must be a real challenge. My partner's mom was already in a care home when we met and, having spent significant amounts of time visiting before she passed on, I can not imagine what it would be like having to deal with that without significant help. That is one of those where those of us on the outside say "Take care of yourself too!" while only seeing what is on the edges, not the day-to-day work behind the scenes. Tip of the hat to you for keeping going!

Routines can be comforting for a while too. It gives time to regroup a bit and plan for future activities (like April!)



UM