[OffRoad]

Good that you are finding yourself. If whatever you become meshes with whatever she becomes, then great. But if not, you will be in a good place no matter what. I know I have a totally different case because what my xh became is nothing I would ever have looked at twice. Unless something drastic happens, we could never be together because I have no respect for what he is at this time.

It is awesome you are standing, yet not standing still. Have you any plans to go places with the kids?

[UrsaMajor]

This is always the crux of the deal, the crucial question....

The wisdom of the ages says that, even if  the LBS and MLC'er DO come back together, the relationship is 100% new because neither party comes through that forge fire of Hades without making some radical changes. We are simply not who we were once upon a time and, assuming the Mid-Lifer has done the work they need to do to work through/exorcise the demons they are/were dealing with, they will have dramatically altered as well. If they have NOT doe the required work, well then.... Wash, rinse, repeat....