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Author Topic: MLC Monster How come we don't see it coming?

C
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MLC Monster Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#50: June 22, 2011, 12:40:54 PM
This is an interesting post.

I would say Bon Bon that I am the pessimist with the glass half-empty approach whereas my ex always had the glass half-full  outlook.  However, as I always said, this meant that things came as a pleasant surprise to me if they were better and an upset to him if they were worse.

I honestly had no idea that this was going to happen.  We were probably in a bit of a rut but every relationship goes through that and if only he had really said that he felt we had drifted apart, I'm sure we could have done something about it.  However, the flattery of an old flame from the past was more appealing.  He truly does seems to think that they can go back to their 'younger selves' when she only had two children instead of four and he didn't have any at all.  However, as he says to his daughter "I haven't done anything to you".  No, only taken away her second home and pretty much ignored her for the past year when she really needed some support.  It'll be interesting to see how it all works out when she stays with the two of them next month for a few weeks.  I think the cracks may start to appear a bit.

The last thing he said to me after coming back for a brief week was that "You are a lovely person".  (So lovely that he wanted to go off and be with somebody else - permanently apparently.)
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h
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#51: June 22, 2011, 12:48:01 PM
Foxberry,

My husband told me that he needed to figure out things with himself and he could fix it himself.  Then he was living with ow in about 4 weeks.  Now how can he figure things out with himself if he is with ow?  This is beyond me.  I totally understand how you feel.  Hang in there.
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hampc0cv
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#52: June 22, 2011, 12:50:19 PM
My H tells me atleast once a week now...: your such a good person, Synicca"

I think he is trying to tell himself he doesnt deserve me....or maybe its a reminder that I am.....who knows.

I just think "alot of good it does me, you choose to be with a b*tch Ow over me...how is that right?"
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Me 45
H deceased 11/09/2015
D17
Married 16 yrs Together 25 yrs
BD 09/10
living with OW 12/10
OW moved out 03/11
H moved home 06/11
Affair ended 05/12 again and again and again
H Blocked xOW from contacting Him 10/12
Ended ALL contact with xOW Dec 26th 2012 (So I thought!) I filed for D June 10th 2013
Moved out.

--
"Never, ever be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well being of a person is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."

"What if you woke up today with only the things you Thanked God for yesterday?"
B
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#53: June 22, 2011, 12:54:30 PM
Judging by what all of you wrote, it just proves the point that none of this makes sense.  THEY don't make sense.  I was told I was too loyal.  Oh, ok...

See, as Chrysallis is one way, I'm the other...yet we both deal with a spouse in MLC.  Further evidence there is no way to predict nor prevent this imho.

Fox, don't even torture yourself with their vacation.  Maybe they will get speared in the hind section by a bull...haha...

BTW, H and I will be traversing the pond in October and arriving in London...this is for my 50th birthday and frankly, it was my idea and I said I would go with or without him.  He said in reponse..."WHAT?".  A year ago, he would have said "fine".

I hope this time, our second big trip during his MLC, he doesn't look across the table from me and say "This is no big deal...I really had no interest in coming here".  I wish I could meet some of you but since H will be in tow...well....probably not a great idea. 

Sorry for the hijack!

xo
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"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#54: June 22, 2011, 01:05:36 PM
Bonbon,

You will just have to lose H for a day!!! We HAVE to meet up on London!

You made me laugh out loud about the Bull!!!! Maybe they will haha :-)))

Chrysallis - you know you're lovely! We've met :-)))) sooner or later your H will see the GM for what she is!!! A hanger on, earning nothing & leaching on him.  Just like my sitch they have both lost the most precious thing... Their relationship with their children....

Love & hugs
Fox.    Xxxx
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H - still a Vanisher - Maybe he will realise one day what he's lost...but after years of heart-searching finally it doesn't matter any more! I never thought when I was devastated in 2010 after 28 years of marriage - I could be happy again...but it's true - I'm done spinning my wheels - I learned to walk on the sunny side of the street and leave the shadows behind me. Brand new life for me & it feels good to be free of all the drama. No such thing as MLC - just men/women who run away & are too cowardly to talk about their issues, just cheat with other cheaters! Don't waste your gift of life on these pathetic spouses - live life & enjoy...don't waste your life wondering why...you will never know...Trust is precious don't waste it on people who don't know know what it means...
C
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#55: June 22, 2011, 01:09:47 PM
I agree with Fox, Bon Bon.  You were very kind to me when I first posted and it would be lovely to meet you.  Maybe we can find something for H to do for the day!

Thank you Fox - you're lovely too!  You're quite right - it's definitely their loss...

C
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#56: June 22, 2011, 01:12:43 PM
This shouldn't be very hard to do...

Quote
Bonbon,

You will just have to lose H for a day!!! We HAVE to meet up on London!


After all he is in MLC - they get lost very easily!
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#57: June 22, 2011, 01:21:34 PM
Very funny Mitzpah,

Yes BonBon,

Just tell him you need some space to fix your head and that includes a champagne lunch with your friends at his expense! or Afternoon Tea at Fortnum and Mason or similar  ;)

Fox xxx
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H - still a Vanisher - Maybe he will realise one day what he's lost...but after years of heart-searching finally it doesn't matter any more! I never thought when I was devastated in 2010 after 28 years of marriage - I could be happy again...but it's true - I'm done spinning my wheels - I learned to walk on the sunny side of the street and leave the shadows behind me. Brand new life for me & it feels good to be free of all the drama. No such thing as MLC - just men/women who run away & are too cowardly to talk about their issues, just cheat with other cheaters! Don't waste your gift of life on these pathetic spouses - live life & enjoy...don't waste your life wondering why...you will never know...Trust is precious don't waste it on people who don't know know what it means...
C
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#58: June 22, 2011, 01:35:23 PM
Sounds good to me!!

C
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B
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Re: How come we don't see it coming?
#59: June 22, 2011, 01:37:38 PM
Ok, you're really tempting me!
I would love to meet you all!
Hmmm...maybe I should just say I need space dammit!  LOL!
:)
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"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
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