[HeartsBlessing]

I came to realize that the name sounds like a self-help manual for a vasectomy, one with a rusty knife and a bottle of Jack Daniels for anesthetic.

I think you got the WRONG self help manual; it's actually the one written for advanced brain surgery.    This involves a heavy duty ice pick, a sledgehammer to drive the final "point" home, AND, as an added bonus(optional) this tool can ALSO be used for the anesthetic!  LOL!!

Sorry, my sense of humor got the best of me that time! I was thinking of the altered thought processes of the MLC'er, AND that brought to mind a time when I was doing "brain" surgery on another messageboard in another life; long before I even knew anything about MLC, LOL!!

[Hope for Zen]

Lol!  Love this Shantilly.   

When I started posting I thought I would never find peace, safety, or happiness again - especially without my H.  Finding that seemed impossible.  It took a long time, but I can honestly say that I am finding my Zen, even without my H.  Doing this on my own is incredibly empowering as well.

 

[Little Chief]

Ready, you crack me up! 

[LearningIamOk]

HB, Is this something the Lord has revealed to you, or have I, Mamma Bear, Little Chief, Letting Go and Offmyrocker poisoned you. You are judged by the company you keep.

[LettingGo]

HB is finishing up her time here.... so don't torture her, LOL!! She has always had a sense of humor, but some of the LBS don't! I'm glad to see that there is a lot of gallows humor happening on this site.... if you can't laugh, you'd cry all day!! Thanks, Ready, for always being READY!!! We know you're like a Boy Scout... always prepared, hahaha!!

i LOVE this thready, but it pretty much makes all of the hoo ha on the forum moot..... we've each given our best advice RIGHT HERE in a nutshell!

[HeartsBlessing]

HB, Is this something the Lord has revealed to you, or have I, Mamma Bear, Little Chief, Letting Go and Offmyrocker poisoned you. You are judged by the company you keep.

LearningIAmOK, I have to admit I laughed so hard at what you said, I nearly fell out of my chair, LOL!!

When I saw what Ready posted, I just couldn't resist throwing a twist into it to add more humor to the situation...it was hilarious enough at one point, that Ready was running around posting about stoning MLC'ers to death, amongst other things...and I used to chase him down just to see where he'd posted, so I could laugh at what he'd said on a given day.

No, Sweetie, He really didn't show me this;(although, I KNOW you're joking, LOL!!), yet, the Lord just said to tell you, and I quote, that you NEVER know what God will come up with on any given day!  And HE'S laughing at what you said, LOL!!

I came up with this on my own; I don't really think the Lord would honestly go that far with me, although He really does have a great sense of humor.   While I was going through the troubles of my husband's first affair, He and I got to laughing one day because my husband was acting SO stupid about all of the "hiding" he THOUGHT he was getting away with.

The Lord wouldn't stop laughing, and kept saying various things about my husband's brainless actions, until I was laughing so hard I nearly lost my breath; I really needed to laugh at that time.
 I said that I thought we were wrong for laughing, He said NO, we aren't, we are laughing at his BEHAVIOR, not at the man himself.   Then He said something else, that set me off again; and He laughed, too...He really was trying to make me feel better, and He succeeded, using humor to help me get back on my feet.  I think I asked Him if He were sure he even placed a brain within that man's head, He said He was certain; and I made a crack about Him not making sure it was tightly enough in place, and so my husband must have lost it along the way.

It was just silly stuff.  I even laughed as I made a comment to the Lord about how He'd made men the way He had....He simply said they were what they were, and still had choices, even they made wrong choices along the way, LOL!!  Heck, THAT even set me off; wasn't what He said, but it was HOW He said it that got to me, LOL!!

As I recall, that was one the best days I'd had in a long time.

I would have to honestly concede to your second point about the company I keep. LOL!  Quite honestly, I can't say I would find better company than all of you to keep it with.

I have to worry MORE about how I'm influencing you than you influencing me, LOL!!  Especially with the "gallows" humor I have posted from time to time, not to mention telling a LBS one time the best way to help her MLC spouse load his car was to make a small hole in the back windshield, and shove him AND his golf clubs through it at the SAME time, LOL!!
Then for 15 minutes, after I posted that,  I was really on edge, terrified I had said the WRONG thing, although, my Intuition had said that was OK to say; as the LBS in question was a good natured person, and I knew her well.

When she finally posted that she was laughing so hard she was gasping for breath, and said something else to bring me back with something else that made her laugh even harder, I knew it was OK, and was very relieved.

HB is finishing up her time here.... so don't torture her, LOL!!

Nobody is torturing me at all, LG I just think it's too funny! LOL!!

She has always had a sense of humor,

LG is absolutely right about that, although you don't see my humor that much unless someone either directs it at me first, or I KNOW for a fact that the LBS in question is OK with me making jokes.  If someone throws something at me first, get ready, because something's coming back at you.   I'm a very good natured person as a general rule, fairly laid back, and people pick on me all the time, and I pick right back....there are some things, however, that I don't joke about at all.

I won't make fun or even poke fun at LBS' I know that either don't like it, or are not in a place they can take or even deal with it. I also won't poke fun as LBS because they aren't getting it, although I've been known to pitch 2x4's if they've been in this at least 6 months or more without having gotten themselves together.

I never wish to make anyone feel that I don't understand how they feel, neither would I hurt anyone deliberately, or make them feel they don't count, or that they have no right to feel as they do.

On the other hand, I have been known to poke fun at quite of the things that happened in my situation; back in the day;  it's all laughable, some of it was downright hilarious at times; if you can't laugh, you'll cry your eyes out, or hit rock bottom, and we can't have that.

So, always find something to laugh at, as laughter is truly the best medicine of all!

Love,
HB

[kikki]

I came to realize that the name sounds like a self-help manual for a vasectomy, one with a rusty knife and a bottle of Jack Daniels for anesthetic.

I think you got the WRONG self help manual; it's actually the one written for advanced brain surgery.    This involves a heavy duty ice pick, a sledgehammer to drive the final "point" home, AND, as an added bonus(optional) this tool can ALSO be used for the anesthetic!  LOL!!

Love it 

[justasking]

Personally I find if the name chosen is more on the negative side I find it hard to open the thread in the early days. This is because we all know the grief and pain and how we are consumed by it in the very early days. But a positive name for the future screams hope for that LBS.

Always, always, always ask lots of questions about the MLC journey but more importantly yours as the LBS. There is lots of information on this site but others as well. Read books and look at other information streams such as male depression.

The reason I am Justasking was I drove people mad in the early stages as I know the key to both mine and my H journey was in the information I needed to detach and move forward. I drove some older posters mad by coming back time and time again to get my understanding right. OP was particularly patient with me lol 

Shantilly great thread and one a lot of us have been thinking about for a while but you had the courage to write it down.

xx

[HeartsBlessing]

Personally I find if the name chosen is more on the negative side I find it hard to open the thread in the early days. This is because we wall know the grief and pain and how we are consumed by it in the very early days. But a positive name for the future screams hope for that LBS.

Would you believe that way back in the day I started out with the moniker of "HurtingBadly"?   When I read your post, JA, it triggered a long forgotten memory of the name I started out with so long ago. For several months, I kept that name, but when I moved to a better place within the crisis, myself, and my marriage, I considered what my final name would be....I chose HeartsBlessing, because I wanted to be simply that; a blessing to the hearts of others.

I kept this name, because the Lord instructed me to keep it.   When He directed me to return over a year ago to start posting again in this area; He'd said that it was a name that was already "known" to others; it was recognizable.  I didn't believe Him; as I didn't think it would have been after all those years,  but I saw that He was right.

I remember being more surprised than anything to find that what had been written had reached so far, and lasted so long, and it's all still  out there, even after all this time.  I suspect it'll continue to minister to others for quite some time.

I would always hope that I would remain a "heartsblessing" and a light inspired by the Lord to one and all for many more years to come.

The reason I am Justasking was I drove people mad in the early stages as I know the key to both mine and my H journey was in the information I needed to detach and move forward. I drove some older posters mad by coming back time and time again to get my understanding right. OP was particularly patient with me lol 

I'd have to say I was startled by all the questions at first, JA, I was struggling with heavy memory loss at that time,  but I kept answering as fast as you were throwing them out; I first met you on the other forum under another name not much different than this one, LOL, and we ran into several aspects of interference over there....once we all arrived here last year, the questions continued, and the threads you started with various aspects, have been very helpful over time, too.

For what it's worth, you NEVER drove me mad, LOL!!

Questions are always good, the only dumb question there is,  is the one you didn't ask.

[Shantilly Lace]

Yep quite often a person asks a question and others come out saying oh yeah I wanted to know that.
So if you've thought it chances are others have too.