[Mamma Bear]

 SIP,     One time after BD and his resurfacing 6 weeks later..He said something about his plans for the week. I said "I am not focused on your journey anymore. I am focused on my OWN JOURNEY."        Something I read here once or twice 
    LOL
    He opened his eyes WIDE and said "Oh Wow!" 
    That's all I ever said from this site!

[Dontgiveup]

I met with a counselor that I knew fairly well just a couple of weeks after bomb drop.  He told me he thought my wife was going through MLC and not to mention MLC to her because of the negative label associated with it.  Most other resources I have read indicate the same thing.  I do not know if anyone has mentioned MLC to my ex-wife, but as we start closing in on two years since bomb drop, she has not said anything about it....nor have I.

The Instructions for Newbies thread on this forum gives some insight as well.

[Thundarr]

My W said that her supervisor told her she was having an MLC when she found out about her filing for D.  It was a shock to everyone in her office as she had NEVER complained about me I'm told and always talked about things we did together and places we went.  She's worked there for 12 years.

My W laughed and made a joke about it.

[growing every day]

I can honestly not answer this. I have no clue where his head is. The last time I saw him he looked like he was 80 years old, had a grey mullet, jowls and couldn't look me in the eye. And he couldn't speak to me.  I knew.. I know.... him?? No clue.

[Foxberry]

My H knows something is wrong but I don't think for a moment he would say he was in MLC... H is "VERY HAPPY" well at least that's what he told my S.. He knows he has feelings of anxiety but puts that down to me :-(   Our S rightly or wrongly recently told him to 'get help' - will H? No as OW doesn't give him the room or time to consider the wrecking ball he has taken to his life.. That is,as they say, his problem. I think when he admitted to our S he had problems from childhood that is something, but being with OW won't help him solve them.

Foxy xxx

[Trustandlove]

I made the mistake of bringing up the subject of MLC about 3 months in; that backfired on me a couple of years later when he said "you still think I'm having a midlife crisis", when he was adamantly saying he was just moving on, he couldn't get his feelings back for me, all the rest of the familiar stuff.

Actually, very early on, before I really knew much about MLC  I talked to him in all seriousness about depression, as that is something I have experienced, and I know how much it can colour everything.  He went away and thought, then said no, that isn't it.  Ha. 

Around 4 moths in he did once ask "do you think this might all be in my head?", but that didn't go anywhere....  he was right back to "I don't know if I want you in my life". 

However, sometime in the year before he left he came upstairs one day and asked if I thought he was having an MLC.....  at the time I said no -- I hadn't a clue about it... 

And about 18 months ago, when he was realising that he had made a major mistake with a business venture and wanted out, he asked if I thought it was a weakness to admit a mistake (I said no, quite the opposite), and then sat and said "maybe I'm just continuing my midlife crisis".  By then I had thankfully learned enough not to react.  I'll take that as a moment of clarity.

So he may have thought it, but if he did, he now thinks that he is out, as he is happy with his new business venture and "finally truly happy" with latest OW. 

Upshot:  they might get glimmers of clarity, but push those away quickly. 

[LettingGo]

No clue. I think my best friend is sliding right into one, based upon things she is saying. After almost two years of hearing me go on and on about MLC, since I have a clinging boomerang and so hear a lot of "crazy talk", you would think something would resonate..... I've talked and talked about this forum, about the symptoms of MLC and the connection to depression, but it goes right over her head.

She said the other night "I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like an entity has attached itself to me.... like my insides are all in the wrong place... I feel so uncomfortable that every time I set foot in this house I want to RUN and RUN!! Every night I look at real estate in North Carolina and dream of what it would be like to just move there and be by myself...." and this is a woman who sees a therapist every week for 20 years.... but she doesn't have any problems, because she "has done the work" and no one else does, according to her. She came out and said she didn't care if people chose to stay with cheating spouses.... but she wishes they would just TELL THE TRUTH and admit "My husband cheats on me, but I don't want to leave, so I put up with it."  Pretty sure that was directed at me, LOL!!

We are just now seeing adds for "Low T" on television, and I believe it is a step in the right direction.... it also tells you there are many men seeking some sort of physical support from their doctors. Don't know about women, because we get thrown the "It's just menopause" bone...

[MsZing]

Even though my H asked me before he moved out, if my C thought he was in MLC, he has not used that term since. He says that things change, life happens, that's life.

I never mention it nor have I read any threads from here.

I think when he was trying to work himself out ( HAHAHA) he was trying to hang his hat on something and mentioned MLC, but as hehas been mmoving along it is really just saying the above and repeating that he doesnt know what is happening, why he is doing it, when it will end or what it will look like at the end

For some reason though, he seems to have 2 years in his head as a timeline for "it" to last. He also had a timeline for how long things werent right in our marriage. 1 and 1/2 yrs

[Dandy Lion]

At the very beginning when he left and gave me the speech, I asked him if he was having one of those midlife crisis thingies.  He said "Of course not!"  and in my head I was saying "Of course you are!"  I did pass on a few books for him to read not really about MLC but there was one hidden in there but I never pointed it out to him.  I thought that one day he may realise, hey my wife gave me this book, she really was trying to help me! Long shot I know!

[Synicca]

There was a time, back in around Jan or Feb That I read LG's thread to my H.

I also read articles about MLC to him, He didnt get upset. in fact he agreed with alot of it.

My H knows about this site....one time when we were in a deep discussion, I asked him if he thought
I would lie to him about what he is going through? He said no. He knew I was telling him the truth.