Skip to main content
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Discussion LBS - them or us?

k
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 58
  • Gender: Male
Discussion Re: LBS - them or us?
#20: October 21, 2011, 01:07:14 PM
Sil, my W mentioned to me that it was ME who abandoned HER...  which is why she decided to move on (become the WAS)...  for many reasons, this was important for her...

It all ends up being a matter of perspective...  I'm sure that regardless of all the re-writing of history the MLCer does...  in many of their minds...  it is really THEM that are the LBS...
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#21: October 21, 2011, 01:16:20 PM
Sil, I like Ligh Bearing Spouse

kaffe, my husband also told me, when I had to live our marital home and come back to my hometown, that I had abandoned him. He also told the court he left because I made him so, I was always argumenting with him and did not took care of him.  ::)

I guess it's whatever makes them feel less guity.
  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 243
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#22: October 21, 2011, 01:30:54 PM
I know it is all subjective at the end of the day.  What I believe is moving forward, someone else may see as not moving at all or moving backwards!!
However, I know something coming from this thread appears to be we are not 'left behind,' as much as we may have felt when BD first happened.  Left, yes. Behind, no.

I like the suggestions about moving forward and being ahead.  It's also interesting reading that some of the MLCer's felt abandoned too.  I'd guess if my H had a voice here he too, would feel I'd abandoned him in some ways hence his reason for actually leaving in the end.

It's also true that I have many times almost put out that metaphorical 'light!'

Sil x

  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#23: October 21, 2011, 01:58:24 PM
Yes, we are not "left behind". We were left, but we are not behind. Not as we were at BD. Maybe we were never really behind...we just felt that way.


We are moving forward. With or withou the marriage, with or withourt a retourning spouse. And very much ahead of them.

It may be possible that the MCLers really felt abandoned but mine only told me that six months after BD when I had to move back home because of all the financial destruction he had caused.

Light, for me is not only on the sense of lighthouse but also as not heavy. MCLers have the heavy burden, we become lighter and lighter.


  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5219
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#24: October 21, 2011, 02:04:59 PM
 Practicing Unconditionals Daily  we're PUDs :o
 They're Tunnel Challenged  ???
  • Logged
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 243
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#25: October 21, 2011, 02:07:05 PM
falls about laughing, while trying to type return message...... :D ;D :P ;D


Sil x
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 16546
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#26: October 21, 2011, 02:35:56 PM
Quote from: Mamma Bear on October 21, 2011, 02:04:59 PM
Practicing Unconditionals Daily  we're PUDs :o
 They're Tunnel Challenged  ???


Would say they are more tunnel fu** up!  ;D
  • Logged
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
k
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6918
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#27: October 21, 2011, 02:47:10 PM
My H - about a year post BD, and 6 mths after running from home to hobags place, said that he felt abandoned by me and the boys!!!   :o :o :o

Think it was because he'd just moved into his own place and was obviously trying to make his two camps work exactly as he wanted them to.
The boys weren't playing his game and refused to go over there very often.  Poor lamby!!!!  My heart bleeds for him  ........ he's so confused  ???
  • Logged
M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5219
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#28: October 21, 2011, 02:52:23 PM
KiKi,     I love these :o :o :o They are perfect for this MLC discussion board.
            They are left behind...Mine said I pushed him away :o :o :o :o
  My best friend describes it as 'he put his clothes in a bandana and tied it to a stick and said "I'm going to joey's house. Joey's mother doesn't make him do chores. It's FUN over there!"    I think she may be on to something :o :o :o ::)
  • Logged
k
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6918
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS - them or us?
#29: October 21, 2011, 03:04:24 PM
 ;D Mamma - that is a brilliant way of looking at it 'Going to Joey's house with bandana and stick - No chores and FUN'   ;D

Pushed yours away?  Does he mean you tied his bandana to the stick for him?

Ooops - don't they get a shock before too long - Like too much candy - it all becomes too much before too long  :o
  • Logged
« Last Edit: October 21, 2011, 03:05:35 PM by kikki »
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.