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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Return Stories Cont..

W
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Mirror-Work Re: Return Stories Cont..
#150: July 02, 2014, 05:14:36 PM
Just explained my sitch to someone at work and he mentioned they he has friends that went through a possible MLC and they are still together.
Apparently the guy was in his early 30s, had some FOO issues that caused him to have a "confused" childhood. They were happily married and then suddenly he decided he didn't want to be married anymore and left for 18 months. Apparently he "snapped out of it" suddenly and thought "what the hell am I doing???" and went back to the wife. They've been happily married every since. That happened about 5 years go.  :)
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M
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#151: July 08, 2014, 01:09:51 PM
I myself went through this 18 years ago with my h. He snapped and left me for OW they lived together out son was 3 at the time. Took me 2 years to divorce him we were both 26 then.
He had came back and left several times during those 2 years.

I finally divorced him and started to move on when 2 months later XH came to the house and I told him he did this leave we are divorced. He leaves then comes back an hour later and knocks on the door again and said our son broke his arm and we left for the hospital and H came to stay with me and help with our son and he stayed home from then on.

During the time after the divorce we lived together and had another child a D 2 years later.
Continued to grow and be happy and he finally asked me to marry him again in 2004 on the same date as our first wedding. It was romantic and amazing.

Trust was there and we were happy and in love and took a honeymoon every year the 2 of us.
In early 2012 he started to act different and was't as close or loving and just didn't seem happy. We went on as if we were fine and in August 2012 his dad was diagnosed with cancer... our son was graduating in 2013. H got a promotion and we were in debt.
All of sudden he stopped talking to me asked for space. I knew something was wrong I had been through this before and I knew the signs of OW... I did some checking and sure enough there she was... An old friend of his that he cheated on me with before we got married the first time. Only I just found out about it January 2013... so it was new to me.

long story short. I got sick spent time in the hospital he never took care of me he blamed me for everything wrong in his life and said he loved me but not in love with me and wasn't sure he was ever really  happy... He was always gone and May 2013 he moved to the spare room with no explanation at all... It crushed me. I started going back to church and asking God for help. I would ask strangers to pray for us and tell my story and they would check on me through my work to see how we were. Customers would ask all the time how we are.

It was so bad and the monster spew was horrific. After dealing with his no feelings and no heart and rude comments and lying ALL THE TIME. I finally filed for divorce when he looked me in the eye and boldly said I DON"T LOVE YOU AND I WANT A DIVORCE... I broke and finally filed. He had threatened me for 6 months to divorce but he did nothing about it... I took the leap and did it.

Once I filed he backed off the OW for awhile but started talking to her again... he started being mean and rude again and he didn't move out. That was April 14-2014 and May 31st 2014 I caught him at a bar with the OW I pulled in and we had it out... cops were called and the following day he tried to make excuses but I could hardly even talk to him... I WAS DONE... I filed an order of protection on him and for the first time in 2 years I was able to breath and not be scared of what he was going to do or say... I took a moment for myself to find me again because the way I acted that night wasn't me and I hated the him and her made me like that and I let them.  H as far as I know hasn't been in contact with OW since that night. I dropped the order of protection and put the divorce on hold.. He is a little angry that I filed for both but told him I had every right to and he agreed.

Since that night H called the pastor the same man who married us the second time and said I am finally ready to talk... THANK GOD....He has since met with the pastor on several occasions and he and I haven't fought since the 31st of May. We communicate and we laugh and visit and its a great feeling.
I told H that I don't want a roommate I want a husband and the door is open only when he is ready to be my husband. He told me last night he is scared he will be coming home to a hornets nest. I told him I understand but the day I filed that order of protection I let go of the anger.

So he can take his time to work on himself because I told him while he is away I will be doing the same thing. I told him I don't want him back broken but I am here to help him for whatever he needs..

Are we working on our marriage? YES we are finally and I am looking forward to having him back. So this happening twice in a lifetime stinks but the blessing once its over is AMAZING...

No matter how hard it is and how discouraged you get God is still in control. I have my bad days but I is 4 bad years worth throwing away or giving up on 18 amazing wonderful years.... Not to me. 
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Loving unconditionally is a choice you must make daily...

MARRIAGE IS MADE IN HEAVEN...SO AREN"T LIGHTENING AND THUNDER. Oh what a CRAZY storm we are in.

M 94 D 98 remarried 2004
S19 D13
BD Feb. 2013
OW 2013
I moved him out June 2014
OW yes.  Fat buck tooth sloppy wh@re
H in counseling with Pastor. Reconnecting some

P
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#152: July 08, 2014, 01:24:43 PM
Your post really lifted me, just what the doctor ordered. And I truly am sorry you had this twice...wow, you are exceptional to withstand this as you have done.
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???

M
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#153: July 08, 2014, 01:35:31 PM
thank you PG. We have a long way to go as I think h is still in the tunnel but I have a tunnel of my own I need to get through.
I always say God didn't bring him back the first time and us remarry for him to be taken away again.
This is just a huge bump in the road and maybe just maybe I need a wake up call as well. There is always room for improvements I just wish it didn't have to be such a drastic crash to make them lol.

I am a believer and I am a stander and I have Faith that God is most certainatly working on both of us... Nothing is final even if the dovirce goes through....
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Loving unconditionally is a choice you must make daily...

MARRIAGE IS MADE IN HEAVEN...SO AREN"T LIGHTENING AND THUNDER. Oh what a CRAZY storm we are in.

M 94 D 98 remarried 2004
S19 D13
BD Feb. 2013
OW 2013
I moved him out June 2014
OW yes.  Fat buck tooth sloppy wh@re
H in counseling with Pastor. Reconnecting some

P
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#154: July 08, 2014, 02:20:32 PM
I agree so totally, and I hope and pray it all works out
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???

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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#155: August 20, 2014, 01:27:00 PM
I had to add this to the Return Stories.  My sister was best friends in high school with a gal I shall call BF.  I never really knew BF.  Last weekend, my sister told me that BF and her husband had divorced after 16 or 17 years, and he went back to his first wife!   :o  I asked my sister if BF had been the other woman in his first marriage and she told me yes!!  I was rendered speechless!  So, it can happen, even after 16-17 years!!   ;D

Don't know about the rest of you, but it certainly gives me hope!   :D

CT  :-*
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"I am a woman who only asked that I be treated fairly and with respect."
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowlege Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
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M
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#156: August 20, 2014, 01:42:57 PM
Oh wow... I have no doubt they still love us and always will no matter what... Its themselves they struggle with as they should.
Miracle in itself right there he is just lucky first wife was there to take him back.
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Loving unconditionally is a choice you must make daily...

MARRIAGE IS MADE IN HEAVEN...SO AREN"T LIGHTENING AND THUNDER. Oh what a CRAZY storm we are in.

M 94 D 98 remarried 2004
S19 D13
BD Feb. 2013
OW 2013
I moved him out June 2014
OW yes.  Fat buck tooth sloppy wh@re
H in counseling with Pastor. Reconnecting some

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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#157: October 15, 2014, 02:43:48 AM
Warrior P,
Wow that was powerful stuff. I could feel electricity coursing through me, restoring my faith in standing. I will pray for God to find and return my lost sheep whole and complete.
Kind regards
Jackolar 12
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c
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#158: October 28, 2014, 06:52:18 PM
Warrior P,
Wow that was powerful stuff. I could feel electricity coursing through me, restoring my faith in standing. I will pray for God to find and return my lost sheep whole and complete.
Kind regards
Jackolar 12

Ditto.  Let me preface by saying that I just now realized something that I will get to later, but it has to do with the number 3 and what happened to me after I read that post. 

Before I registered on this site and did any real research about MLC, that post was what turned me around.  I was ready to give up and throw in the towel.  Then one morning I turned on my ipad and that post was on the screen staring me right in the face.  Honestly I don't know how that happened as I ALWAYS close every application after use and take it back to the home screen.  I believe God intervened and had me read it.  I put my ring back on and sent my w a text telling her that I was sorry for whatever I had done to her that made her so upset and that I was grateful for the time that we had together and that I would cherish it forever.  It was at that moment I decided to stand.  I didn't expect a response as she had not responded to any text I had sent her up to that point so I took a nap.  When I woke (5 hours later), I started to feel kinda dumb that I got so psyched up and was about to take my ring back off.  I mean who was I kidding right?  I had just found out about another man she had been seeing (who is young enough to be her son btw).  And then a miracle happened, she replied to the text!  I know that this may not sound like a miracle to you, but trust me, it was.  God most definitely had his hand in this; not only did she respond, but her response was over 5 hours later at THE EXACT moment I was about ready to give up again.  I will call this sign number one.

The next day in church someone spoke in tongues.  I never really believed in that stuff before, but it is supposed to be a message from God.  Someone speaks, and then someone else interprets the message.  Like I said, I never believed in it before, but that day it was different.  Someone spoke and what seemed like several minutes passed before an interpretation finally came.  I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like "Worry not, I hear your prayer and I will answer it.  Don't be discouraged, but trust in me and I will take care of you".  I started crying; I was sure that the message was for me (others could have been included, but I'm positive that I was one of them).  Sign number two

I was supposed to get the boys that afternoon and knew that they were with my w's mom because she went out of town to some fitness competition with a friend of hers.  I called her mom around 2pm and asked if I could go ahead and get them because I wasn't sure what time w would be back (she was 6 hours away).  She said that they were at the store and that I could get back with her later.  I thought this was strange coming from her; normally she would say "ok, at the store now, be home in a bit" or something like that.  I waited a few hours and called again around 5pm.  She once again put me off. This time she made it a bit more clear; she said that she "thinks w wants to bring them to me".  "Wow, ok this is a first" I thought to myself.  A couple more hours went by and the phone rang.  It was her calling to say that she was on the way.  A phone call from her at this point was unprecedented.  A text could have relayed that message to me, but she chose to call.  She then began talking about her weekend at the fitness competition.  Very strange behavior, but something in my head (God's voice perhaps?) told me to listen; so I did.  It was just small talk really, but it felt good; like the old days when I couldn't get her to stop talking about her day at work or whatever even if I wanted to!  It made me realize that she hadn't talked to me like that in at least a year.  "Why is she doing this" I thought.  I can only explain it as sign number 3.

I believe that God gave me these signs to show me that he is there for me and that I should not give up.  This will all work out in the end because he is working all things together for my good.

As I am sure you may know; the number 3 is significant for several reasons.  A quick google search will get you these:

The Trinity (Godhead) is 3 in one
Peter denies knowing Jesus 3 times and later says he loves him 3 times
Jesus rose on the 3rd day
"holy, holy, holy" is the Lord God Almighty (Isaih 6:3 and Revelation 4:8 )
Of the 12 Apostles, Jesus loved 3 more than the rest (Peter, John and James)
Samuel is called by the Lord 3 times before he realizes it and answers
Satan tempts Jesus 3 times before giving up
It is on the 3rd day that the creation of the Earth is made
The placard on the cross is written in 3 languages
Jesus raised 3 people from the dead

I could go on, but I'll stop there.  I have faith in God that he will restore our marriage!  I felt like I had to share this with the rest of you.  I know that it isn't exactly a reconciliation story, but it was inspired by one.  God will help us all if we just believe in him.
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« Last Edit: October 28, 2014, 06:56:49 PM by confused_but_trying »

r
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Re: Return Stories Cont..
#159: October 28, 2014, 07:34:46 PM
Great post.

The number 7 comes up very often also.

Nothing is a coincidence.
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