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Author Topic: MLC Monster 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!

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MLC Monster Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#20: January 29, 2012, 06:17:28 AM
Willitgetbetter..... just for the record.... Syn's husband is not nearing the end of the tunnel... he is still deep into Replay.

I believe she has an early returner like mine. They have a partial awakening, lived with OW and found out they LOATHE each other... but can't let it go.. it's their addiction and their crutch. Until they no longer "need" the OW "R", it will continue. Syn's husband has DEEP issues he runs from.. so does mine. You see that when they had a prior addiction... shows they've been self medicating for years over SOMETHING. No guarantee they will EVER face it.  :-\
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#21: January 29, 2012, 06:25:53 PM
Wow. Shows how new I am to this. I must say I am without hope that mine will snap out of it and I don't know that I could wait for years for it to happen or even trust him if he came back. Mine medicates with cigarettes, before we met it was alcohol. Tried to point out to him that he wasn't happy before he met me, so why should he think he's unhappy because of me. So hard to detach with his acts of affection at the same time. He kissed me on the cheek tonight before he left to go stay overnight at a male friend's house. Thinking he's prob picking OW up first since his friend has a girlfriend too. Hate all this, hoping I will heal faster once he is gone from our home for good.
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#22: January 29, 2012, 06:38:49 PM
I'm healing faster with my H out of the house and pretty much out of the picture at all except for his infrequent interactions with the kids. I'm not healed entirely, but the constant hurt of having him and the influence of OW around was more than I could bear. Took a while to get settled even after he left, but I'm feeling a lot more secure.

I don't know how women do it when he's right there in front of you, then skipping off to go see OW. I just cannot fathom the pain.
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#23: January 29, 2012, 06:45:36 PM
  Cali I have to say that after 11 mos of this it does get easier. Him running back to ows house is easier bc I can SEE it's NOT REAL. I can see he's NOT HAPPY there. I can SEE it is eactly what RCR describes in the articles. I feel bad for him in a strange way. Knowing that he's struggling with this whole ball of wax and that he created it! A mess. it'll be OK. Lucky for me my mlcer is polite and caring. Now. 6 mos ago I would beg to differ. He was more oblivious! :P
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#24: January 29, 2012, 08:16:24 PM
Quote from: Mamma Bear on January 29, 2012, 06:45:36 PM
  Cali I have to say that after 11 mos of this it does get easier. Him running back to ows house is easier bc I can SEE it's NOT REAL. I can see he's NOT HAPPY there. I can SEE it is eactly what RCR describes in the articles. I feel bad for him in a strange way. Knowing that he's struggling with this whole ball of wax and that he created it! A mess. it'll be OK. Lucky for me my mlcer is polite and caring. Now. 6 mos ago I would beg to differ. He was more oblivious! :P

Hi Mamma Bear,

Mine was consistent Monster before. Now he is consistently nice and caring too. Do you know why or how they are able to be this way if they are supposedly in turmoil? I take it as his relationship with OW must be getting better if he is walking around smiling vs. If its Monster maybe they are fighting. I am in such pain and my pain just gets worse when he is being nice to me and affectionate. I feel like he's actually happy and could care less about our divorce. I have a long post on our history regarding this. I want to see some pain on his part, acknowledgment, not Mary Poppins. :(
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#25: January 29, 2012, 08:29:55 PM
Prior thread

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2077.0

At end of thread, I posted answers to questions from RCR which have made me second guess my decision to divorce, maybe separation would have been softer approach and gesture of leaving a cracked door open, but given the amount of phone contact and his cockiness about refusing to break contact, I thought there was no hope, so I filed. If you want to comment on my issue, see RCR's quotes and my responses, are last in the post. I would appreciate any input on any of them. I am struggling daily. Hugs!!!
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#26: January 30, 2012, 04:35:53 AM
 WillitgetBetter,    YES IT WILL GET BETTER...Mine was gone a whole 2 miles across town for what seemed like forever. Then he would just run in and out of our lives without really having a personality except scared......Give it time...can you rescind the divorce paperwork ???  I kind of act around my H like he's still m H (teenaged brain) who cheated ran and took some furniture. I act like I know a secret.  ::)  The mos flew by and now 11 mos post BD festivities he doesn't ask for Ds to be aound ow ever.  ;D(they met her once to go ice skating and found out her whole life  story. It's bad)  He acts like he's gonna ask me to go to the prom.  ::)    A few times I sent a card etc that said things like "I know you are going thru something and I know you can get through it. I trust you can. I love you unconditionally but I'm not sure that you know what that means."     Give space...smile and be the best you and do new things. Do  things you want to do and never had time. He'll be watching. It' true what StillStanding and others have said "OW symptom. She'll be her own undoing. He'll realize it ..in time." I can not believe the difference in my H one year since BD> Totally different. The duct tape over my mouth so I could just listen has been my best 180. Keep reading the articles. Especially the Self Focus Articles...unconditionals.....we need to practice like we play ;D
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« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 04:39:40 AM by Mamma Bear »
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#27: January 30, 2012, 05:57:54 AM
Quote from: StartingOverInCali on January 27, 2012, 08:22:20 PM
I didn't know this was a described behavior of MLC, but, true to script, I guess, H did text his OW a LOT. I think he also IM'ed her via Facebook, and talked to her on the phone, probably Skyped her from his work computer or maybe his home computer.

(Pardon me while I retch...)

I found his secret texting phone in his truck just before he moved out and took it and read all the texts--at least the ones he sent HER. I just shook like a leaf reading those. I was SO raw with hurt!

Interesting...

OMG. I'm sure you were. I have info that I could read but from what I've heard it will break my heart and make healing even harder. I can't imagine any more pressure on top of what I'm feeling. So I haven't looked. Mine snatched his phone back from me when I confronted him about the affair.
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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#28: January 30, 2012, 06:34:54 AM
Will itgetbetter....

First, LG is right, my H is still in Replay..his texting is still very HIGH! Its is way of comunicating to EVERYONE right now...not just OW..I tell him when he says "so and so hasnt texted me back" I say" Why dont you CALL, instead of text, not EVERYONE uses this form of comunication like you do" :)

My H has ALOT of issues...deep seeded issues that go WAY back and he isnt ready to FACE them yet.

but like everyone says here....IT DOES get better....then it gets WORSE...then better again! Just be prepared for ANYTHING!
:) You will get there, I promise!
((hugs))
Syn
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Me 45
H deceased 11/09/2015
D17
Married 16 yrs Together 25 yrs
BD 09/10
living with OW 12/10
OW moved out 03/11
H moved home 06/11
Affair ended 05/12 again and again and again
H Blocked xOW from contacting Him 10/12
Ended ALL contact with xOW Dec 26th 2012 (So I thought!) I filed for D June 10th 2013
Moved out.

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Re: 150 calls, 250 texts and 2500 minutes a month!
#29: January 30, 2012, 07:31:33 AM
My H is always on his phone, texting, IM'ing and posting.  He's got it password protected but sometimes I'll notice he is even deleting the messages right after he sends the reply.

This bothers me a great deal.

The old me (the one who didn't know about MLC) would have already gone onto his acct and checked what numbers keep coming up, and then I would have matched up number to name/address, so on.  The new me just logs on to his acct once a month and pays his bill.  I've learned even if he has an OW she is nobody, so I don't need to know about her.

Of course there is a possibility I'll give in and snoop, and then be back on here crying.   :'(
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