[Thundarr]

I decided to start this thread for all the great people who were regulars on LifeTwo and are used to that free-flowing format.  It appears the domain for LifeTwo may be gone for good so I'm thinking we may see several more show up than are already here.  OP, Honour, Rider, Moc, Hobo (Trueblue), Confused and Angry, Tigger, STP, BonBon and myself were regular posters there or stopped by from time to time and posted on this single thread that had over 700,000 views.  Anyway, this thread is not meant to take away from any of our individual threads but rather to continue the great tradition that was started over there and was ultimately the first oasis in this storm for many of us before finding our way here.  So, here goes nothing.

[Thundarr]

I should add this thread is in no way meant to be exclusive to my LifeTwo brothers (and sister), but just a way to keep that old thread alive.  Anyway, on to my update:

W continues to give me very mixed signals.  She called me last night to tell me that D19 forgot to bring the little ones' clothes for school and backpacks and she just got in with them and didn't feel like driving all the way home to get them.  I know it's cake eating in a way, but I did want to see the kids last night so I took the clothes to her after I got home.  I forgot their backpacks, and D11 started crying because she had homework.  At first W scolded her for crying, and then when I said that it was okay and started hugging her W waited a few minutes and then came over and hugged her as well.  She was very robotic and acted like she was only hugging her because it was what she was supposed to do.  I stayed for about an hour until S7 fell asleep, then I left and hit the Mexican restaurant on the way home for a bite to eat and a margarita.  W had thanked me profusely for bringing their clothes and mentioned that I was a great dad and that the kids always miss me when they're over there, so that would explain her finding a way to get me to come over every time she has them.  I called her after I left and told her I would bring the backpacks early this morning so that D11 could do her homework before school so she could sleep peacefully.

I took them over about 6:30 this morning and W was very friendly and nice.  We were small talking and she brought up the foreclosure situation (I had been dreading approaching her about it).  She said she wanted to do whatever we had to in order to keep the kids secure and save their home.  I explained about the loan modification and how I would need her to sign the papers too, and she mentioned that she wanted to do a "quit claim" on the house to get her name off of it but I explained that I would need her to stay on it for now in order to save it and she said okay.  She said she trusted me and we would talk about it Saturday when she drops the kids off.  She was very pleasant and thanked me profusely for bringing their backpacks that early and again said I was a great dad.  She's not herself, but I can see her peeking through somewhat.  Interestingly, she has not said the word "divorce" in relation to us since early December.

I will be man enough to admit I may well have have been wrong about the old ladies she's been hanging out with.  She was talking about them last night when I was over there and I found out that they did NOT leave their H's and break up their families, but rather they were both LBS's.  One was married in the 60's and her H left her for another woman in the 90's after 30 years of marriage (sound familiar?) and the other's first H did the same and her most recent H insisted on living in Florida and refused to move back so she D'ed him.  W was talking about how hard the two had it although the one lives in an elegant home.  She said their H's were real bastards for running off with other women and/ or choosing a place to live over them.  I did not reference our sitch, but yes I did have ulterior motives in discussing this.  W mentioned again how they were mother figures for her and W REALLY seemed depressed last night.  D19 happened to mention last night that W has been apologizing to them lately and as I left last night we were talking about the kids (after she had told me I was a great dad) and I said she loves them so much and that she is a great mommy.  She said "I don't know about that.  I mean, I have to work and go to school and other things...." and left it at that.  I asked her if I was being supportive enough of her and she said yes (wish I hadn't said that) and I told her to let me know if there was any way I could help her be more a part of their lives and she thanked me.  I'm grasping at straws as I really want the kids to have a mother, but I'm using my instincts (Intuition maybe) to guide my interactions with her.  I left happy and accepting that God has me on a path that I don't know right now and wondering where it will lead me.

Ready and HB's comments to me (on Sassy's thread, check it out) have really resonated with me.  Time to my W is not the same as time to me, and the world she is living in is not mine right now.  Knowing that takes alot of pressure off of me as I have been concerned about us growing apart during this ordeal and if R would even be possible, but this really makes sense and gives me the odd sense of hope even though HB reminds me that this could be a LONG stretch. 

Peace to all, and welcome again to all my LifeTwo brothers!!!!

[Rider]

Yo T ... good fun for the LT boys now.  Only with all the cuss words! 

Anyway, I bet the LT site is up and running soon. It appears they lost their domain name by not re-registering it. Googling them takes you to a GoDaddy site offering to sell the domain for as low as $7.99!  Same hijack thing happened to my company website a couple of years ago.  If you don't put your domain on automatic renewal, there are website domain name pirates that steal your .com and will sell it back to you for a ransom.  More of a pain than a financial burden.  Cost me $50 bucks to get my domain back.  Took about two days to get it back. Such irritating rat bastards! 

I think this is going to be a much more dynamic board for all us men.  And the additional feedback from the women LBS's is invaluable. Kudos to both you and Bon for leading me back here. 

And remember ... The dude abides! 

Rider

[Confused and angry]

Glad to see the life two boys found their way over here! Its been an experience over on this board, nice to get woman's perspectives and other then a select few on L.T. There was only a testosterone driven group! Not saying anything bad about that great group of guys, just nice to have a woman's view on things! 

EDIT - OK I am here too but we will not be able to have 700,000 posts on one thread.  - OLDPILOT

[welsh]

Not posted here before, just lurking, gutted about the LT site, strange how something like that can give you enough to help you through the day. Hope we can all make it across, but hope LT does return, seems the domain was registered yesterday for another year.... but we don't who did that..... could be anybody.

[hopingfourbetter]

 Hey Op,
   Thundarr is good at numbering the threads. I thought he burned through ten pages pretty quick, I bet this one will to.  Hfb

[hobo1]

Hey Thundarr and all-

Thanks for starting this...  Yes, I also appreciate all the support from a variety of folks, including all the women LBSers on this board...

So the latest on my sitch is that she realizes that she won't be able to afford the house.  Her attorney called mine, and said that she is redrafting the agreement.  I am afraid that she is going to ask for more.

I still can't believe that she is doing this....  When I dropped off the kids on Wed., she was acting SO happy, even whistling while she came to the door!  She laughed and joked with my S7, all while ignoring me....  I ignored her as well.

I feel it's a mask.  Why would anyone be so happy when they are about to lose their house, and the kids will need to adjust to living in a smaller place, and she would be living broke?

Financially, it's a smart decision on her part to sell the house, and I've told her this in the past, that divorcing me is not like just living the status quo without me...

To make things worse, just when I need her support the most, she abandons me.
So back in the crisis of 2008, I made a mistake at work, and I am being called to testify in an arbitration case.  A multi million dollar ordeal....  It happens that I will need to fly to the arbitration, immediately after the scheduled D.

She was one person I confided in, and she knows about the concern I had,  and how worried I was.  I've not told her about this, and feel like I should but I need to realize she is no longer the person she used to be....  She could care less about my problems.  After all, she has this emotional turmoil to deal with.

My kids have a performance at school this PM, and she didn't even tell me.  My D10 told me only after I happened to ask.

She is not good at this co-parenting thing.  Mostly because she tries to avoid me. 

[BonBon]

Oh wow, I was just going to head over to LT when I read this.  Hmmm.  Maybe somene from that funky thread with the "Single women-no kids" thread burned LT.  Hmmm.

At any rate, the first forum I ever joined was LT.  I believe OP sent me over here...can't even remember since it seems so long ago.  At any rate, VERY glad you gentlemen have joined here as there is so much to know and learn and very easily accessible here. 

Also, as I wrote to Thundarr, I think it is good for the women here to see how many men get blitzed by their wives MLC...I was ignorant to that until I joined LT long ago. So, we can stand united as LBSers rather than be divided amongst gender lines.

Good job in doing this Thundarr...
Hi to all from LT if I haven't already said so...

Bon

[xyzcf]

Welcome Lifetwo friends! For those who have been here and those who are new...you will find a great deal of information and support and we will also learn from your experiences.
 
I became a member soon after this site started..July 2010 is when I discovered it and I have not ventured onto any other sites except briefly on midlife dimensions. This site has saved me so many times.
 
It was easier in the early days to stay connected because there were fewer people...I do find that I connect to certain members..perhaps because our situations are similar. I am not familiar with the format of Lifetwo....if you are comfortable, at some point you might like to start your own thread. That allows us to read back on your particular story as well as one place that you can journal and keep track of your own growth.
 
Anyway.....just wanted to welcome one and all and am looking forward to getting to know some of you better.
 

[STP]

Glad to see you guys. I'll pop in to this thread every once in awhile to see how everyones is doing.

Things are still good for me. Happy to say the blonde is out of my wifes hair (Finally! The front half of her head had been blond since Jul '09 around the start of her EA, and mixed with either blue, purple or pink). She is working a lot more now too. Two years now, our old home has been for sale-hope the buyer sale happens quicker than the foreclosure. Even moreso than in my last update she has reverted to her old self, although some new traits acquired during her MLC still linger.


For the HS people who don't know me, I am a MLC survivor. From bomb drop to reconcile was 11 mos. (Nov '09-Sept '10). There was an OM and the affair went from EA to PA. We separated and lived apart for 7 mos. but with circumstances, determination and playing the game right, it all worked out