[BraveNewWorld]

I'm calmer, much less reactive
I'm learning Spanish
I'm running a half marathon this weekend
I'm vegetarian now, and happy in that
Thinner, fitter
I sing and play guitar at mass in front of a couple of hundred people each week
I'm even closer to my sons - we play soccer, rock climb, swim, cycle, travel, board games, talk
Closer to my brothers, my dad
My skills are growing at work, my management is encouraging me
My home is in my name, I'm painting the rooms - the kid's rooms look great
Best ever crop of tomatoes this summer
I have goals for the next year - travel, work, a new car maybe, projects

I need to work on trust - especially in believing in relationships, and understanding what women need/want from them. Understanding or believing if I am able to give that. I feel empty in that at the moment. But at least I recognize it - and when the time comes, I can sort through it.

Thanks for helping me write that down.

bnw

[Peony2012]

This is nice. I need this today. Here's my list:

- I am less insecure
- I have learned to live in the moment
- I appreciate the 'smaller' things in life more (like a beautiful sky)
- I have made some wonderful new friends and deepened relationships, I got to know people better
- I am a better driver and know how to change a wheel!
- I have lost 30 lbs and am fitter and got rid of some issues I had with food
- I have found yoga -  it fulfills me and makes me happy.
- I like myself a lot better than before
- I feel inspired
- I am grateful
- I have found ME!

 

[SavingGrace]

I thought I was too new to the MLC process to post any reasons why I am better because of this experience. While my propensity is to list all the negative things resulting from my H’s MLC, and believe me there are copious amounts of things to list, I have determined I can list things that are genuinely a positive outcome:

-I am finding my voice, which was silent too long in my marriage.
-I am becoming less invisible and finding my place in the world again with meaning and purpose.
-Every day I am becoming more and more empowered with my personal strength and inner truth.
-Fundamentally, I will always love my H and never regret the past we shared and what he personally does with this reality is becoming less and less of a burden I shoulder.
-I am acknowledging that my love for him couldn’t save him from his crisis but that does not mean I need to own the blame for the damages and destruction incurred in our relationship.
-I am acutely aware of my anger and resentment and while I am not in a place of total redemption from these feelings I harbor, I know I have a journey that will bring me to freedom.
-I can live in my brokenness and fragility and not fear the wounds or scars and realize that within my brokenness true beauty resides.
-I am attempting to balance out the selfish shift in the universe has my H seeks out his self-indulgent and narcissistic pursuits, I am giving of myself to those in need for it is much better to give than to take/receive.
-I am learning that our friends don’t see us as a “package deal” and while my H may have gone off the deep end, they have remained friends with me regardless of how they admired him in the past.
-I am acquiring a worldwide support system of nameless and faceless people who impart wisdom and dispense truth when the heart and mind are in most need of it.

[Musica]

Great thread MF ... must compile my list ....

back soon!! xxx

[dragonfly]

Thank you Moving Forward. Your question made me think, your presence on this board is a blessing!

***

I've learned - that you have only have control over your own actions and that's where I try to focus
I've learned - that there is such a thing as divine intervention and my God is faithful
I've learned - that joining an online forum and taking the leap to join a meet-up with total strangers is an awesome thing to do
I've learned - that I invested my life and love mostly in and around my husband. Love is so much bigger than that.
I've learned - that my friends are among the most precious thing in the world. A card, a meal, a thought, a shoulder meant the world to me
I've learned - that a walk-away-husband is the best diet in the world, not the healthiest one
I've learned - that I am a conflict avoider, a Queen of denial and a procrastinator
I've learned - that I should not judge others. I condemned people who put their kids in front of the TV in the morning
I've learned - that kids glued to a TV in the morning might mean saving the sanity of a single mum after her sleepless night
I've learned - that I had no idea of the incredible sorrow that laid ahead and remind myself that I have no idea of the incredible joy that lays ahead
I've learned - that forgiveness it vital for your own happiness, it doesn't mean approval and doesn't excuse anything
I've learned - to keep learning. There is no shame in dusting yourself off and try again.

***