[Moving Forward]

hello all,
part of my healing has been in the search of a better me - removal of the old detritus and replacing old negative behaviours with positive new ones. I subscribe to a site which sends you 'daily devotionals' and today's got me thinking.....

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.
--The Dalai Lama

Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great - not in spite of, but because of their problems.

Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols; one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.

Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.


There hs been some activity on the Forum which questioned the point of standing and whether we should work on ourselves. There is still a huge focus on what the MLCers are doing ao I thought I would ask the LBS's here- at whatever stage in your journey - what have you become that you are proud of as a result of your MLC experience??

So here is my list:-

• I am less judgmental
  I am more relaxed
  I listen to people more
  I trust my intuition more
  I am calmer
  I think before I speak
  I am more compassionate
  I am less angry
  I am closer to my kids
  I have developed closer relationships with key people in my life
  I have boundaries of acceptable behaviour
  

So my challenge today is for you to share the new improved you with us all -wherever we are on our 'journey' (sorry for using THAT word) we can stop hiding our light under a bushel and share what is awesome about us!!

P
x

[WarriorPriestess]

Ohhh, I LOVE this topic!!! 

[Sassyone]

Wow Moving Forward, great thread.

I love your list and have all of that too as new.

I am less judgmental
I am more relaxed
I listen to people more
I trust my intuition more
I am calmer
I think before I speak
I am more compassionate
I am less angry
I am closer to my kids
I have developed closer relationships with key people in my life
I have boundaries of acceptable behaviour
I am more positive.
I do not yell.
I have more patience.
I am forgiving.
I like myself.

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
Winston Churchill

[Trustandlove]

I have to say that all of the above apply to me as well; I still have some things to work on, but on the whole I do think I am a better person. 

[Believer]

I am better because...
 
I live in the moment
I trust in God
I am closer to my daughter
I have discovered the joy of spending time with girlfriends
I am not afraid to be alone
I received help for my own battle with depression
I learned that happiness comes from within
I no longer feel the need to control people or situations
I love unconditionally
I am more relaxed
I understand the healing power of forgiveness
I am proud of who I am
I appreciate the importance of being real

[hopingfourbetter]

Hi Moving forward,
  Your Idea is a good one my problem is I need to work on things in order to post on here

  I have been thinking of something similar to do for us all that I think might help. It has been on my mind this last day with HB and RCR and a few others chiming in on the L2 thread.  I think us guys really do not think we have too many issues that we need to work on. I have been thinking if we could make a list just as you are sharing your -- you are better list-- we do a --- things I could do to be better list---, I know my W has said that I have a lot of things I needed to do to better our relationship and I was completely oblivious to them and I am sure I have forgotten 1/2 of what she said. If we were to make a list I am sure it would be helpful for those who are not sure what they need to do. I am one of those people. Hfb

[NoRegrets]

• I am less judgmental of divorced women. 
• I have found that many of my best friends are now divorced women who are less judgmental of divorced women. 
• I have new friends.
• I am thinner. 
• I was able to force the sale of a huge economic liability (a "vacation" home I hated that lost hundreds of thousands and cost an arm and leg to maintain) that was wasting my income, like money down the faucet, so I'm economically freer.
• My children have an even greater respect for me than they used to. (But I'm concerned they worry unnecessarily about me.)
  
• My H raved about his OW's sense of adventure and he asked her to wear a dress for him in a text message I intercepted. I am more adventurous--in a dress, no less.
• I try to look hot when I leave the house. You just never know, right?
• I'm doing a fantastic job of keeping up with my skincare regimen.
• I think I'm going to be a better partner next time--more open about asking for help, asking for what I want, rather than letting him take charge or not take charge in which case I'm disappointed (less passive-aggressive?)
• I just got rid of the kind of guy who would bail on the kids and me for an alcoholic home-wrecker!
• I am excited about my future.

My goal is to become less reactive and angry, and this sure is good exercise. I'm looking forward to the day I can see and speak with my H without feeling like I want to pass out from anxiety. Would love to be able to see the OW some day and keep everything in totally perfect perspective--no reaction from me, just calm assertive energy. (I'll FAKE it for now!) 

[forthetrees]

I am more patient.
I am more grateful.
I sing more.
I am braver- needle phobe who now gives auto injections every day.
I can make stove top expresso.
I am still loving.
I can separate a hang nail from a true crisis.
I can deal with a MS diagnosis because it is less of a blow than this whole mess has been.
I like myself.

[NoRegrets]

Can I hijack to say how proud I am of my LBS sisters right now?

Big Hugs!

[Moving Forward]

This is for Thundarr - he suggested reframing our thoughts in a post on 'The Hardest Part in this MLC Madness' thread.

Perhaps we are better at talking about the negatives rather than the positives in our situations??

((hugs)) to everyone

Px