Skip to main content
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down

Author Topic: MLC Monster How Mental are they ?

W
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 95
  • Gender: Male
MLC Monster How Mental are they ?
OP: February 23, 2012, 06:39:57 AM
I was wondering how many of you had spouses that have had other mental issues in there life before MLC ?
My w had a bout for 15 years with depression and panic attacks. She seems to have got past the panic attacks. But the depression is harder for me to pick up on. She quit taking her meds in 2004 on her own and she did seem to be better for a while. As she could now go places and do things and drive a car. But as the years went by I would pick up on the depression at times but she would get angery if I brought it up. Now she blames the doctors for the reason she had the above issues. So how many of you have had your spouses have mental issues before MLC?
  • Logged
« Last Edit: February 23, 2012, 06:56:52 AM by justasking »
Bomb drop 8/1/10. She has been out and back twice. Had an affair with a woman she met at work who no longer works there. We have never talked about her MLC. I am waiting for her to want to talk.
B
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2227
  • Gender: Female
Re: How Mental are they ?
#1: February 23, 2012, 07:50:59 AM
My H has never suffered any overt mental issues though I would say he is a depressive personality in general.  He tends to be pessemistic and a bit moody and also does not have as much confidence as he should, which tends to make him angry at times.  I will say though that I now realize he has childhood issues that I was not aware of previously.  This only came to light to me as a result of his MLC.

Interestingly, I've suffered from panic attacks for 25 years though they were essentially dormant until just before bomb drop...now I only drive a few miles from home.  Funny how someone else's MLC caused my own mental issues to creep back in...eek...

Bon
  • Logged
"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
W
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 95
  • Gender: Male
Re: How Mental are they ?
#2: February 23, 2012, 08:10:19 AM
I will pray you panic attacks go away. Thanks for the reply. Your H and my W seem to have allot of the same issues. Do you or anyone else know of a web site where I can find out more on childhood issues that stem over to adulthood ? Also always looking for any stories from people who went through MLC. If anyone knows of any.
  • Logged
Bomb drop 8/1/10. She has been out and back twice. Had an affair with a woman she met at work who no longer works there. We have never talked about her MLC. I am waiting for her to want to talk.
R
  • *
  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1280
  • Gender: Female
Re: How Mental are they ?
#3: February 23, 2012, 08:12:46 AM
My H had obvious depression and panic attacks. He stopped taking his meds 3 months before BD.
  • Logged
W
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 95
  • Gender: Male
Re: How Mental are they ?
#4: February 23, 2012, 08:25:45 AM
Leftalone. We have pretty much the same story. The only thing different was my BD was 6 years later.
  • Logged
Bomb drop 8/1/10. She has been out and back twice. Had an affair with a woman she met at work who no longer works there. We have never talked about her MLC. I am waiting for her to want to talk.
L
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1074
  • Gender: Female
  • Remember the Best and forget the Rest
Re: How Mental are they ?
#5: February 23, 2012, 08:30:25 AM
My H (ex) was being treated for what he called "anxiety attacks".  This started about 3 years after our marriage and 2 years prior to BD.  I didn't know much about it and never really witnessed this for myself.  He said it always happened to him when he was in a large group of people and especially if he had to speak/address them.  He was seeing a doctor at the time and taking medication.  He pretty much kept most of this private.......even from me.  I don't really know about any childhood issues but I'm sure there maybe some.  His father divorced his mom when he was about 16 (left to be with OW and married her).  His father became "nonexistent" in their life.  He passed away about 10 to 12 years later.  My spouse said he "mended" ways with his father before he passed.  My spouse was also married before me and from all things he told me she was in control.  He was beat down and treated like a child.......literally.  He lived with this condition for about 10 years before divorcing her due to the fact she had two affairs (same man).  I feel like some of the issues he needs to deal with stem from such a controlling previous marriage.  He is now under a different type of doctors care and different meds.  From what I can tell this seems to be helping him.
  • Logged
C
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 324
  • Gender: Female
  • What God has joined together, let no man separate.
Re: How Mental are they ?
#6: February 23, 2012, 08:39:49 AM
My H was diagnosed with psychosis before our D20 was 2 years old.  He has been hospitalized twice for this.  H refuses to stay on his meds as he does not like the side effects.

My attorney - after dealing with H in court and other meetings - is adamant that H is also both bipolar and OCD, though he has never been clinically diagnosed with those other two.

H's mother is very sad, shows little emotion.  I always thought she was depressed and I do believe that her depression absolutely affected my H's childhood in a very negative way.  I think H has depression, too.  Funny thing is that when H was diagnosed with psychosis, the doctor asked if anyone in H's family had a mental illness (looking for a genetic link) and of course my MIL said no, no one.  Of course, she has never seen the depression in herself.  And, I would be very surprised if many of our MLCers did not have those childhood issues like my H has had that have been brought on by a mentally ill parent or other relative.
  • Logged
Marriage is a LIFE-LONG covenant instituted by God.  Only God can break this covenant by death.
M 49
H 48
Married Sept 1988( covenant marriage for both of us)
D21 and S18
D final Sept 2011
B
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2227
  • Gender: Female
Re: How Mental are they ?
#7: February 23, 2012, 08:50:13 AM
Wow, with all these MLCers having panic attacks, you would think I would be the one having the crisis, rather than my husband.... ???

Thank you for the prayers!

Sorry, I don't know of any websites per se but I know that many people here talk about avoidant personalities being prone to MLC.  I personally think avoidants are also prone to panic attacks.  There is an element of genetics with panic attacks as well...my father had them, his mother had them...though in those days, they never would admit that and insisted they had heart issues.

Bon
  • Logged
"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
L
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1074
  • Gender: Female
  • Remember the Best and forget the Rest
Re: How Mental are they ?
#8: February 23, 2012, 09:03:58 AM
Oh, my ex has also stated that he suffers from depression.  He said his father and grandmother (father's mom) both suffered from depression.  After he told me this I asked him if he's ever experienced the depression in such great depth's as he did 28 months ago (BD) and he said no.  I asked him if he thought it was odd that it came on so sudden and why he thought it happened to him since he had never really exhibited major bouts of depression.  He didn't have an answer.  He also claims (now, since BD) that he is a codependent.  I told him that I thought his codependency was due to his previous marriage because he has always said he did everything to keep her happy.....even if it made him miserable.  It seems that I have been blamed for all the things that was wrong in his first marriage.  It's like he has mingled and mixed up details of the two marriages and I am being blamed for things she did, not me.  He has recently indicated that he didn't remember saying things about me that he knows is not true........at least now he admits it.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: February 23, 2012, 09:44:52 AM by LoveMyMan »
t
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3150
  • Gender: Female
Re: How Mental are they ?
#9: February 23, 2012, 09:30:19 AM
My H has shown signs of depression on and off for years.  He has also had periods of time where he experienced panic attacks and major episodes of anxiety.  Bipolar and depression also run in his family. 

It doesn't surprise me looking back that he had the panic/anxiety/depression over the years.  I think he has been pushing his issues down so he didn't have to deal with them for a very long time. 
  • Logged
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.