[Trustandlove]

what the OW represents over what I represent... 

This is from a few posts back; it resonated with me.  In my case I'm starting to think that as the most important thing to my H seems to be the freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to, that this latest OW must allow that or be OK with that in some way; I represent being trapped with family responsibility. 

[JAG]

Stillpraying,

very interesting article.  When H was in one of his cycles he kept telling me I sounded like his mother.  Then, what I realized was that I was not sounding like his mother at all.  All I was doing is caring for him and being reassuring to him just like his mother was during his childhood years (I guess one could say like a mother would...but also a wife).  Then, after speaking to his best friend, it sounds like he has picked the OW for the fact that she reminds him of his own mother during his teenage years.  They argue, she is bossy, she is stubborn....and most interesting of all, she is VERY big on top...almost like someone who has had breast implants....

[JAG]

One more thing....
"The love of a good woman can never make up for the losses a man suffered growing up. But he doesn't know that. He believes that she could, would, and must give him what he needs. If she doesn't, his love suddenly turns to hate. Is this making sense to you?"

If this is true....why would our H come back? Wouldn't they continue seeking a woman to fulfill this need.  My H had a 6 year relationship with a girl when he was in his twenties, then me, and now there is the OW....so why not continue from woman to woman?

[Stillpraying]

JAG,
I don't believe mine will. He left his first wife after 10 years.  Saw 2 prostitutes during that marriage.  After he left he quickly got involved with someone he met on the side of the road.  Went O/S for 6 months.  Supposedly came back a new person.  That's when I met him.  Then he left me after 10 years and straight away involved with OW.  The kids think they are not getting along so well now.  Surprise Surprise!
He openly maintained marraige was about me making him happy.  He never mentioned anything about him making me happy.  I tried to discuss with him my thought that I could MAKE him happy.  That hap[piness also came from within etc.  But he simply does NOT want to be accountable or responsible for anything.  He continues to blame others for all his errors and misfortunes.  I just didn't see it earlier.

SP