[NvrSayNvr]

I've been off for awhile.  My D & I did finally had to move.   Weird stuff goin on lately - nothing earth shattering - just odd.    H gave me 2500 to help with moving costs even after i wouldn't talk settlement with with him.   Wrote an articlearticle about D and put her pic.   When I asked if he had extra copies or new issue, he said no.   Then a week later texts me that he got some for me.   He's been at all her games and texting me results, "we" won!   Whenever i seehseehim though he has the weirdest looks on his face.   Confusion?   Apprehension?   I don't know.   It's like he's almost afraid to talk to me.   But I am ALWAYS very nice and cheerful to him.   Anyone experience this?    He also has the dogs at his place now....after 9 months of "get rid of them"!

[hope!]

NSN

Hi, just thought I'd chime in! We don't see an awful lot of H at the moment, he's totally lost! When we do see him he's wierd....he too seems apprehensive, almost as though he is frightened of me or how I'd accept him. In the past 6 months or so I haven't seen monster, it appears he doesn't want to alienate me. I have never been anything but nice to him, always made him feel welcome when he's here with us yet he still seems to have that fear of how I will accept him!

I wonder if a lot of it is maybe their guilt at what they're putting us through, who knows.....if only we could read the minds of our MLCer......nope sorry second thoughts maybe I'd really rather not!

Hope xx

[JD]

The double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Our MLC'ers are definitely that!

[NvrSayNvr]

I don't know if this would be encouraging, or enlightening, or just more "weirdo" stuff, but it always seems to happen right about the time I begin thinking........"this whole MLC thing is just a fairytale I am weaving for myself to justify waiting on a man who clearly doesn't love me anymore......."

H has continued some "kind" behavior lately.   For example, emailed me out of the blue asking if I needed help paying for car insurance.   Since D's bio-dad just got laid off and that dropped 1300/m out of my pocketbook, I was like......."well of course it would.....how completely generous of you!"    Instead of paying half of insurance like he did back in APRIL, he put more than than the whole bill over into our still active joint account.    Stuff like that.

Anyhoo.....to my point, he texted D Wednesday, "I have tickets to the Lakers game.....can you come?"   She was telling me about it today, and she says, "I really like being around him mom......he's funnier now.   But I don't think you would like being around him........ he acts like a child."   She did elaborate on that statement a bit as well.

On the one hand, I thought, "So, maybe it really is just over.   Maybe he really is just happier now."    When I said to D, "Well, that's good, maybe he really is just happier now,"   D responded, "No, I don't think so, mom."

Then, I keep going back to the choice of words........."he acts like a child."

Every time I start to think that MLC, at least in my case, maybe just a fantasy I like to keep myself in, stuff like this happens......... wanting the dogs back, "acting like a child", "his house is a complete Bro-Pad....... it looks exactly like it did when we met him"............ and he is living on the same exact street again, as the day I met him back in 1999.

MLC............. what a crazy ride.

[LearningIamOk]

NSN, he is in Replay, i.e., Do-Over. You say he is acting like a child, his residence looks like when you met and he is back on the same street. Your D is right, you probably wouldn't like him right now. It would be like hanging out with kids.

My kids laugh at my H and the stupid stuff he says. But he's on their level. He really thinks he's quite charming and interesting and fun to be around. But only if you're about 15-20yrs old. He likes playing beer pong and listening to the latest music. Heaven forbid he listen to something from our youth. He announces "That's old!" The man is pushing 60.

Your H is not happier, but he is trying to be. Good luck. This forum is full of "adolescents" trying to be happy. I haven't heard of one yet that is.

I love the title to your thread. I will forward an application to my H. He is most definitely a Weirdo.

[toughtimes]

My H is 37 going on 25. He appears happy and healthy and is having a very busy social life. I ofte doubt the MLC tag but the parallels with other stories is too uncanny.

I see snippets of my H he shows me he is very happy, very goodson of the time, very occasionally I see a grumpiness and crack in his "happiness". If everything's going his way he's on top of the world, if it's not he's a monster. I just wonder if ow sees this side of him?

[NvrSayNvr]

The weirdness is just getting weirder.

Today H asked me for my mailing address, and sure enough I then received an email which was a copy of the "MSA" (settlement agreement).    This email was a forward from his attorney stating it contained the "changes we discussed".    When I forwarded it to my attorney, they said, "He can't send this to you.  He has to send/serve anything directly to us."   Attorney also stated they could not even contact him because he is represented by an attorney as well.

Here's the thing..........his attorney forwarded this "settlement" to him, and his attorney obviously knows that H cannot send it directly to me, nor can H even send it directly to my attorney.   My attorney also noted that H's attorney stated that neither of us had as of yet filled out the income&expense reports, nor the "property declarations".   

Was this just some shot across the bow?  Was he just seeing how I would react?   So stinking weird.   

In addition, I once again asked him about his infidelity, citing the fact that it cannot affect our divorce, only my conscience in my ability to move on with someone else once he does obtain his desired divorce.     He stated, "No, I have not." (been physically intimate with anyone since he left).

Anyone else having this kind of carnival fun?

[cherryblossom]

Hi NvrSayNvr,

Unfortunately the weirdness is the norm now - the MLC is very good at weird.  They all graduate with honours.... 

I had a similar situation to yours - it seems to be all part of the script.  After BD my H said that we could just get divorced quickly DIY-style and sell our home, like we just needed to fill in a couple of forms online and erase our life together 

I went to see a solicitor to see where I stood and H went all Monster on me.  Like your H he was convinced that I was going to cite adultery.  I told him I wasn't even going to divorce him - he was divorcing me.  I also mentioned to my H that this had no bearing on the settlement, but he refused to believe that and just got really nasty - threatening to make my life difficult.  Eh, you already have done that you plonker 

They seem to be very paranoid - I guess that's what a build up of guilt and confusion does for them.  And they often do things just to get a reaction too.

Read as much of the supporting material on this site that you can - it all helps in understanding the weirdness and realising that it's them not you.

x

[NvrSayNvr]

CB......... please tell me what "plonker" means.   It sounds funny enough to get away with saying in mixed company, especially her in California!         I'm sure monster is headed my way, even though I haven't seen him in many, many months.   My attorney responded to the settlement agreement with request for 12-months worth of income and proof of bills paid before we would look at their settlement.   Not thinking that will go over well.

However, I have already prepared myself and planned not to respond to any monster-esque behavior that comes my way.   This is not my fault.   I cannot control his actions - only my reactions.    Sheesh!   I'm almost starting to sound like a healthy person again!   

[Anjae]

I’ve been having the divorce/legal carnival fun for over 6 years. Like CB one, at first mine wanted a quick divorce, get everything for himself and erase our lives out of the map. Since he has been having fun with going nowhere court cases.

CB is right, often, if not most times, they do things to provoke a reaction in us. They want to have a fight/turbulence.

NSN, they totally dislike to be asked to summit any documents/expenses and some will drag and drag the settlement. Others are pretty quick, normally female MLCers.