[RainbowGal]

 My intuition throughout this LBS journey has told me this is not,at its essential essence,an issue regarding infidelity.....but rather a journey of the long,dark night of the soul for our MLC'r.

 I am a year+ in and in my quiet moments,this is what I know to be true in my situation.

 Thoughts?

P.S.Any Snatam Kaur fans?Such  healing music for me throughout.....the voice of the Divine.Very healing.

 

 

[Ready2Transform]

It's not about the infidelity at all, sadly, that will always be just a band-aid.  It barks the loudest, but is not the source of the bite.   Here's RCR's words about it in the articles here:  http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc.html


Though this is merely a symptom of the Dis-Ease, it is often the most painful and public. It is not a litmus test for determining MLC. An affair is about a relationship--the MLCer forms a bond with the other person. Most midlife affairs become sexual (physical), but there are some who have Internet affairs, emotional affairs or use pornography instead. It is a rare few who do not cheat on their spouse in some form.


I am one of the crew that believes neurotransmitters and hormones are the source, with emotional, spiritual, and developmental issues arising from there.  Of course, emotional, spiritual, and developmental issues can also alter neurotransmitters and hormones.  It's all SO chicken-and-egg, but the end result is the same either way: A HOT MESS.



 

[Chickpea]

Absolutely, it's a crisis, a dark night of the soul.  After reading O'Connor's book, "Mid-Life Crisis" - he explains (with the help of Jung's ideas) that these people reach mid-life, try to look back over their "outer" life, feel they have not accomplished what they believed they should have, so they pursue their goals, whatever they may be, with a vengeance.  He explains, the crisis occurs because, the psyche at this stage in life needs to go within, the "inner" life and these individuals are not ready to give up the "outer" to concentrate on finding the SELF or the divinity within.  Hence, the dreams, the anxiety, the depression.   Then comes the projection and the need to escape- thinking this will provide a sense of comfort- and the way to avoid the inner search of SELF. 

[toughtimes]

Ooooh ready2 that's do true it's the bite that hurts the most.

Do you have any links to the neurotransmitter and hormone changes/effects? Can you summarise what you know or post a link to a previous summary. I have the edge effect but not read yet, too much time spent here!

Xx

[Thundarr]

I agree both with the hormonal aspect as well as with Chickpea's book reference (never heard of it but HAVE to check it out now).  I've seen all of this with my W.  I also want to add this experience has really forced me to do the inner focusing to find who I am, and now that I'm on the threshold of D I can look back at how I've conducted myself throughout this and know that I like who I am.  This experience did not define me, but the way I dealt with it has.