I know we’re supposed to be serious about this but this fictional diary
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/shortcuts/2012/nov/20/diary-chimp-midlife-crisis?INTCMP=SRCH of chimp having a MLC is way, way funny.
Diary of a chimp's midlife crisis
Researchers have discovered that, like humans, chimpanzees suffer a predictable decline in happiness halfway through their lives. This excerpt from the diary of Greg, aged 26, reveals what it's like to be a chimpanzee with a midlife crisis
Monday
Feeling restless. Had another go at typing Shakespeare. By lunchtime I felt as if I'd made a real breakthrough with the dialogue in the opening scene, but later when I checked it over I saw that it was actually just six pages of Xs and 9s. I know good work requires infinite patience, but some days I think I'm not getting anywhere at all. Am I wasting my life?
Tuesday
Looking at myself this morning, I noticed something shiny in my hair. Then I realised: it was my scalp! Why do I seem to be getting hairier everywhere but on my head? Sometimes I wish I were a dog – when they look in the mirror, they just think it's another dog. Must be nice to be that stupid.
Wednesday
Woke up, thought: today is the first day of the rest of your life. Time to start evolving. So I'm gonna give up writing Shakespeare and become an inventor. It's something I've always wanted to do. Now or never, Greg. Now or never.
Thursday
Sat on the big limb during opening hours, just staring into space. It's weird – one day I'm swinging around, showing off like a young chimp, the next day I can't even be bothered to throw faeces at people. I need a change. Perhaps I'll start wearing a hat.
Friday
Been thinking about getting my tyre swing replaced with something flashier, maybe a Ferrari tyre. Everyone says they're uncomfortable to hang from, but I don't care about that, as long as the female bonobos in the next cage can see the logo. Oh my God, who am I kidding?
Saturday
Getting very close with my latest invention. It's basically a stick – you can use it to poke into anthills, but also the ants crawl up it, and you can just lick them off. Dual-function, like the spork. Showed the prototype to Carole, and she was very dismissive; claimed she'd seen someone using something just like it in the wild. I've never even been to "the wild". Very low for the rest of the afternoon. Threw some faeces. Didn't help.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)