[ember]

I was discussing MLC with a friend of mine and she asked the usual questions. One question made me ponder, I didn't have an answer for her.  She asked me if one day, do the MLCers just wake up, snap out of it, look around and wonder "how the heck did I get here?". Or is it a gradual thing?

[justbelieve]

Good question! I'm looking forward to the answers you get to such a question. i wonder about that too....

[limitless]

Ember,

If the threads of the "longtimers" on this board are any indication - most of the MLCers do not "just snap out of it" all of a sudden.

Just like the entrance into the tunnel, I think that the MLCer takes a long trip out of it.  There seem to be moments of clarity - mixed up with cycling and even retreats back to old replay actvity.  There are stories about MLCers who "just woke up" suddenly - and regret their actions...or return home.   But, I don't think that is the norm.

Again - it is just from reading the articles and following the threads that I state this.  My H is still deep into replay...so I have no first hand knowledge.

Limitless

[onlyjo]

ember
my h is living next door to his momma in a furnished apt.  our 3D stay with him on wednesday nights and every other weekend.  h told me the other day that a lot of the time, he wakes up at his apt, looks around, and thinks to himself "what am i doing here?"

now, there are factors to consider here. 
1.  does this really happen, or was h yanking my chain for some sympathy--no way to tell
2.  if this is true, and it may be, does this mean he's snapped out of it?  i don't think so
3.  could this be a moment of clarity?  maybe, but then who knows what happens, because h continues to behave in an inappropriate manner and thus not be able to have complete access to his children, his wife, his former home, etc.

i do think some of them have moments where they snap out of it.  but it's like a rubber band--they snap right back in...
onlyjo

[Braveheart]

Good question! I'm looking forward to the answers you get to such a question. i wonder about that too....

I'd be more concerned if they did. It would seem to send up warning flags it could just as easily snap back into another crisis mode like a Manic/ Depressive does.

[justasking]

If the MLCer moves through the tunnel at the right speed learning and healing as they go along they leave the tunnel with everything in place to live a happy life and hopefully with a new relationship with their spouse.

There are moments of clarity as Limitless says when they have a small amount of understanding about what is happening. But this often just leads to the MLCer returning to replay or increasing replay. It's a slow process just as our journey is. But each joureny is different.

Each MLCer is different but to suddenly wake up and return is highly likely to be a touch and go, then they whizz off again.

Hugs xx

[Ready2Transform]

I think even other sites (Rejoice comes to mind the most) that promote a "suddenly" also elude to the other stages, though they don't outline them as well as HS does.  In some of the weekly emails I've seen reference to giving the Prodigal spouse time to mourn the OP and accepting that there's at least a 2 year window of rebuilding the marriage.  I actually take a lot of comfort in the consistency of all of the sites in not just the symptoms but also the 'exit' (which is far healthier than just waking up from the 'dumb coma'), even though the vernacular may be different. 

[justasking]

I think the 'suddenly' spoken about by Charlene is God's suddenly and not ours............... 

[Ready2Transform]

I think the 'suddenly' spoken about by Charlene is God's suddenly and not ours............... 

Good point.  

[OldPilot]

do they just "snap" out of it one day?

They might, but "one day" may be long after you are tired of the GIFT of TIME!