[stayed]

So true...As ready2transform said, a lot of head nodding material here... I think my head might bob off!   

hugs Stayed

[LJY_626]

It bothers me my husband's actions get to dictate & limit the choices I get to make for myself and my kids in the future.

It really really really bothers me that my husbands choices may results in me not getting to see my kids everyday.

It especially bothers me I have no power to fix or change any of this....

[Azioni]

So much of this resonated with me.  It put into words so eloquently what it is that bothers me. 

OH, and one more thing.

It bothers me that Im almost 56.....................................
FH

You are 56 and FABULOUS

What also bothers me is how my children have been affected, how their innocence and happy, carefree existence was ripped from them, how their views of marriage, love and trust were just - shattered...

OMG>>>YES!!!

(((HUGS TO ALL)))
Azioni

[Covenant for Life]

It bothers me that......  one person's selfishness and destruction(my husband's) have unilaterally destroyed the lives of three others (D21, S18, and myself) who had no say whatsoever in the tearing apart of their family - financially, emotionally, relationally.

It bothers me that..... as a result of my husband's sin, my family's milestones - graduations, family weddings, birthdays, confirmations, anniversaries - have been forever marred by a veil of darkness.  The five years of his crisis have ruined special days in my children's lives that cannot ever be made right.

[Anjae]

I resent having to be distracted from my own freedom to carry the burden of his limitations.

More bothering than resent for me but the rest I agree with. It bothers me that this is such a waste of time and money.

[The New Me]

Hi all,

This is my first post but I've been following and reading here for a few months. This forum has been a godsend for me. I will tell my story soon but this was such a great thread I was compelled to jump in.

It bothers me that I can never again say my husband hasn't cheated on me.

It bothers me that, in his darkest time, he turned to someone else instead of to me.

It bothers me that, despite the emotional turmoil he was going through (and I have real sympathy for it), he gave up on us.

[Slow Fade]

It bothers me that we promised each other that divorce is not an option and now he thinks it is the only option.

It bothers me that I think about this when I wake up and before I go to sleep every day.

It bothers me that I dread his phone call or his visits as they are just too painful.

It bothers me that he keeps trying to introduce my S10 to his partner in adultery.

It bothers me that he has walked away from God and yet still goes to church as if nothing is wrong.

It bothers me that his family has thrown me away just like he has.

It bothers me that he says S10 is the most important thing in his life, but obviously not as important as he is to himself

[Magnite38]

It bothers me that...
I will never completely trust h again.
He is a compulsive lier.
He could walk away so easily and not even try.
Our baby will never really know him.
he thinks he will be a better father. Really only seeing them a few hours a week?
he has changed me and I can't be the mother I want/need to be.
He thinks we can be friends.
He has made me a single parent and destroyed my family.
I have to get a new life and my future that I dream of is gone.
He could hurt me so bad and not think twice about it.
He can just walk away from all his responsibilities and believe they are no longer his.

[osb]

It bothers me that H used to say we'd be together forever (in this life and all the next ones) and now he can't say if we'll be together next month.

It bothers me that H can fall afoul of every rule and tenet of marriage, and then magnanimously say "we both created problems, I won't place all the blame on you".

It bothers me that I cannot freely forgive. I remember what he said to me. How do you block that memory??

It bothers me that H's parents are perfect examples to him of appalling, racist, selfish behaviour... and that he doesn't see it.

It bothers me that, even if my H returns to my arms, he will have earned the eternal enmity of my sister (who used to love him); and that my parents (who still love him) will never trust him again. It bothers me that my sense of family will never be the same. And I fear that I will never trust again.

[toughtimes]

Wow, I think everyone here has said what bothers me .... but, in my own words:

It bothers me that my H has repeated the actions of his mother and father and doesn't see it.

It bothers me that my children may too repeat the pattern of their father and grandmother and great grandmother.

It bothers me that my children will grow up without a comfortable, cosy sense of love and family. Their experience of family will always be broken, fragmented, damaged.

It bothers me that my H maintained throughout our R that the worst thing you can do to your children is to get divorced and now feels the best thing to do for our children is to separate and get divorced.

It bothers me that my sense of trust has been damaged forever because the one person I trusted never to lie and cheat has lied and cheated to the people who love him the most.

It bothers me that I have to say goodbye to my children every other weekend.

It bothers me that my H has chosen to share his life and success with a young colleague and not his family that has supported and facilitated his creative work, lifestyle and life choices.

It bothers me that my daughter and son cry with pain their hearts for the loss of their father and family as they knew it.

It bothers me that I cry with pain in my heart for the loss of my love and my beautiful family that we longed for.

It bothers me that I didn't cherish that love and partnership enough, because life and difficulties got in the way.

I could go on but I think I should stop now!