[bookwrmmom]

I hope this is the correct area to start this thread. I have seen numerous posts with us LBSer's especially us newbies not knowing what we should do to GAL. Often times our situation leaves many without much if any disposable income.
So why don't we start tossing out low cost or even better NO cost idea for GAL activities. To me it can be just some of the simple pleasures in life. So tonight for me it is filling the tub with bubble bath, lighting a fragrant candle, and just relaxing. AWESOME 
Another GAL activity today was instead of my normal grind on the elliptical I took a brisk walk with a good and wise friend. She has walked miles in our shoes and is now in a happy marriage with a great man. She has been a big source of comfort, prayer, and advice for me.
So a walk on a pretty day and a long hot soak in the tub. Simple and free COMFORTING GAL activities!
Bonus: a cup of French Vanilla Decaf (because let's face it we all need our sleep) while soaking.
Now friends I am gonna post this before I drop my phone in the tub and ruin my peace   

[IStillMatter]

Watching I Love Lucy.

[Tired Of It All]

Dancing around the livingroom to my favorite bouncy song.  Turn it up loud and cut loose.

This I makes me happy for a little while.  I tend to let my stress go.

[Sunny]

Great thread idea Bookwrmmom!!

My GAL activities are still restricted to cheap/free due to finances, however there are plenty of options:

1. check online voucher schemes for deals, such as 1/2 price tickets, spa treatments, manicures etc.
2. load up your mp3 and go walking. I have a dog so this has helped me get out daily and explore some gorgeous parks and hills.
3. take up an evening class
4. long phone call with friend
5. meetup.com has loads of different groups and everyone is super friendly
6. visiting local museums, National Trust properties
7. get involved with an arts group- a local theatre, a community arts centre, etc
8. volunteer
9. check events section in local newspaper
10. check out locak library/bookshops, explore sections you wouldn't normally bother with, eg. poetry, arts and crafts, science fiction, crime/mystery.

 

[Moving Forward]

One the nicest things I have done is join a Book Club. One of my friends invited me to join her book club which included several Mum's I knew from school.

It has been great to get out of my comfort zone and read books which I wouldn't otherwise choose (as we take it in turns to decide what books to read!). There are so many books which have an adulterous husband or wife in them....and funnily enough none of the authors ever quite describe the level of hurt and devastation sufficiently. I have had many a discussion with the ladies in my Book Club (I am the only one divorced but actually can see they are not all in happy marriages) which have challenged their preconceptions and well meaning advice.

I have also set myself an annual charity challenge - I have walked the Yorkshire 3 Peaks and done the London Moonwalk and raised a huge amount of money in the past 4 years. Helping others really does motivate me to carry on even when I don't want to!!

I have also revived the old art of card writing!! I will often send my friends and loved ones cards and notes to tell them how much I love them or just to stay in touch. In this data age it seems an envelope with a stamp on it dropping through the letterbox is really appreciated.

I took on the care of a little pooch from my niece about 3 years ago - this little mutt hardly costs us anything in terms of food but he has brought us so much love and joy it is amazing!

I joined a group called Litterarti which meets on the last Saturday of every month for two hours and clears our local roads of rubbish and debris. I love this band of rag tag and bobtail people - we have such a laugh and it has meant I have connected with local people and invested in my local area.

I volunteer at my children's school for their second hand uniform sales and garden party, it is hard work (but only four or five times over the school year) but keeps me connected to other parents and my kids peers!

I have to say I think GAL is an attitude and I went into 2010 (BD was 30.9.09) saying 'yes' to everything - the benefit of which I am still seeing today!

Great thread.

[bookwrmmom]

Thank you all so much and hopefully we can keep the ideas coming. I truly need to get into more pleasure reading myself, but right now my focus has been on educating myself about this change of direction in my life. I need to MAKE myself read something other then MLC or marriage help material.
So tonight I think I am going to run another bubble bath and take a nice smutty romance novel with me 
Although that may NOT be the best choice of reading material right now either!
One activity I enjoy is crochet and I WISH in my small city there were more groups that got together for craft/crochet activities. I checked out meetup.com and the closest groups were Raleigh and that is about a 2 hour drive for me 
Tomorrow I am going to a Women's Conference for the afternoon/early evening for fellowship, dinner, and bible study. It is the 3rd year of the event at my local church and my first time attending. I wanted to get a girlfriend or my Mom to go with me, but wasn't able to and I have purchased the ticket & going it alone. I will know plenty of the women there so no worries, I will have a good time I am sure.
The following week I will be taking a conceal/carry class (shooting/gun) in my area that I have been meaning to take for years. It is a day long class and my Mom is taking that class with me. My H is still (wanted me to do it long ago) encouraging me to take the class. His exact words were "do it" as there have been women in our area approached at night and robbed, etc.

[Anjae]

bookwrmmom, I've merged your thread with two previously existent on GAl so that all the ideas are in one place.

[bookwrmmom]

Thanks Anjae!!

[barbiedoll]

I "think" I know what this means, but vaguely , and with no real revelations or peace. I am trapped in the "trauma circle" ( say the therapists) and I know this is true. I think of nothing but the betrayal , the lies and relive the pain like it all happened yesterday. It is true. I live like that. I NEED to change this. I try to GAL.. i visit with friends, I sew , I walk and love to sit by the fire and read. I try to be "gentle " with myself. I am working on the 30 day Forgiveness Challenge. I have read every book there is to Overcome Affairs. I have no real sense of ME. Who am I ? the question creates anxiety. My identity as his wife is gone. I liked that identity. I clearly am not "working on ME "... as i have not met ME since this happened. Tell me how you all do this and what it means to each of you. Maybe there is peace there .. I need that.

[MeNow]

Hi barbie,

I have to disagree. You are working on yourself. You're asking yourself tough questions and digging deep. No one ever said finding the answers was easy. The answers will come. You are still H's wife, only now you want more than that. This ordeal tends to make us realize there's more.

It took me years to crawl out of the pit I was in. I tried everything just as you're doing. You'll get there. Be kind to yourself. Your pain is not unique and most of us have gone through the same turmoil. I found things changed for me when I let those things that were eating me up go. It was simply exhausting. It's a choice, just like everything else. Choose to let it go, and start to heal.

Take good care