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Author Topic: MLC Monster REPLAY

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MLC Monster Re: REPLAY
#150: September 12, 2013, 12:52:07 AM
I understand and agree.. but why don't they just leave us alone entirely? All they seem to want to do is try to hurt us? They get some kind of feed off of this.

 I've heard of these vanishers that sounds like heaven right about now.

I cannot imagine the initial jolt it must give someone to come home to a note or missing clothes or an empty house when they thought things were just fine..but in some ways it may be kinder than the ones that keep trying to drag us back in with the DRAMA.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
P
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Re: REPLAY
#151: September 12, 2013, 02:58:53 AM
Or when you hear that they just don't love you anymore and don't think they want a life with you (felt like I was a used sock), and that their life too a new direction (without ever informing you of wanting a new direction!) So totally unfair and he does not seem to acknowledge that fact. PG
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
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Re: REPLAY
#152: September 12, 2013, 03:03:31 AM
Or when you hear that they just don't love you anymore and don't think they want a life with you

I remember hearing that also... but you know what I said to myself then? I just don't buy it.

But boy I do now... and it's not a problem. You cannot MAKE someone love you no matter how you try.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
P
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Re: REPLAY
#153: September 12, 2013, 03:34:36 AM
InIt, that's not hopeful at all! I don't want to buy it either, so I am glued to Albatross's thread, and try and see if H will eventually come back to me.
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
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Re: REPLAY
#154: September 12, 2013, 03:50:20 AM
Patience Galore:

We're all at different points in this journey.. I'm sorry I didn't mean to express there is no hope.. Replay is the longest from what I'm gathering.

Hope is always there..I've been in this three years and I've had enough.

Again I'm sorry I didn't mean to say anything discouraging.

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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
P
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Re: REPLAY
#155: September 12, 2013, 04:56:51 AM
No worries, you did not, I was saying that tongue in cheek!
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
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Re: REPLAY
#156: September 12, 2013, 05:07:09 AM
WHEW! I thought I really stepped in it!  ;D ;D :P
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
P
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Re: REPLAY
#157: September 12, 2013, 05:35:42 AM
Not at all, really!
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
t
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Re: REPLAY
#158: September 12, 2013, 10:02:59 AM
I'm hearing about a few LBSs who 'move on' after years of standing and understanding. This is what my dear friend Stayed said to me right at the beginning, most MLCer in her experience want to come back, it's just a question of whether there is an LBS to come back to. As LBSs we have the choice to stand, to understand, to learn, to focus on ourselves, to heal and then if we feel it is right, to move on. I can see in so many real life MLC situations, people who have met someone new or have decided the MLCers behaviour was too much and also people who have moved forward with the MLCer. The point is that ultimately it is our choice how we deal with this crisis from our point of view.

My brother had MLC and got through it after 4 years,  he was back with his partner and three girls. He was a clinging boomerang, pretty nasty to my SiL. my attitude at the tome was throw him to the curb! Another friend's H left her with two kids, he was more of a boomerang, saw them but only because of kids. He wanted back after 3.5 years but only mentioned it 4.5 years later! She couldn't imagine ever being with him again so it didnt work out and they have each met someone new.

This thread has been so good to read and follow, thank you albatross. I am particularly thinly about the stock dale paradox, hope but living in reality, that's the key I reckon!

Hugs to you all.
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Re: REPLAY
#159: September 12, 2013, 10:46:31 AM
I agree the thread is excellent and gives much food for thought. Great to hear success stories... We need them as much as all the amazing tips to learn to truly let go and not cycle with them. MLC, I will never think it is for sad 50 year old balding men. Not a joke, a very harsh reality. Albatross gives great insights that compliment RCR and the posts on the forum. Some great people here. Pity the MLCers don't see the same.
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M:1994
BD: 31st Dec 2012..Happy New Year!
"I want a new love, I want to take risks, I want a new relationship with the kids"...thanks, what's wrong with the one you had???
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