[toughtimes]

Albatross, I think so? I think he's high energy replay but at the moment he is playing happy families with ow and my two kids every other weekend and generally a fabulous time. Best of all worlds. He hasn't crashed at all. He's had moments of high stress but masked it brilliantly in front of me.

Brave heart you are spot on. My friends told me of his brothers MLC and his wife, none years on has not moved on. She watched movies all about break ups that got back together and was convinced it would happen for her but it never has and my friend says it will never happen.

[Breakingthecycle]

This is what worries me.  I'm trying to convince my mind that he won't be back so I am forced to go forward on my own. 

[StillHoping]

Listen to Albatross, he is right when he says, you have to "let go".

Let go of the worries
Let go of the questioning
Let go of the wondering
Let go of HIM

Let go and live your life as if he's never coming back.  Detach from his craziness. 

It took me over a year to really "let go" and just when I started to live MY life, thinking he'd never come back, tonight, after 2 1/2 years of being gone,  he asked me if he could come back home when his lease is up, the end of October  . 

He wants to take me on a cruise during Christmas break

I was finally in a good place and I didn't expect him to come home, at least not any time soon and boom, here he comes.

We both know it will take some work, but we're both willing to give it a try.

I don't know what I would have done without the advice of this wonderful forum, so THANK YOU, to all of you who have helped me get through this.

Tonight, I am truly happy, for the first time, in a very long time.

Hope

[twilightzone]

StillHoping,

Wow!  That is such wonderful news.  I am so happy for you and your H.  I wish you all the best.

[StillHoping]

How sweet of you to say that, TLZ, thank you so much

[Slow Fade]

Praying for you and your H Still Hoping.

Keep us informed as to your progress....we could all use a happy ending story!

[living with Hope]

StillHoping - my prayers are with you and your husband. I am so happy to read your post.  It was just the best thing to read. I wish you nothing but lots of love and laughter for this new journey. 

[Anjae]

Of course your husband is still in MLC, TT. You are just trying to want him to crash way before he is ready for it. MLC can take many years and Replay can last a very long time.

Some of us know Jung, Albatross.  Probelm is, some of us, at least me, knows Jung enough to not to take all he said to the letter. Why? Decades have passed since Jung and his wife (anima/animus are his wife Emma work, not his), and they were mainly focused on the psychological aspect of things, not taking into consideration biological factors (those being hormonal, brain chemicals, or others).

Is is possible that what they were observing, and we also are, is a result of an hormonal and neurochemical imbalance that provokes psychological changes.

Yes, if OW/OM don't provide enough high and MLCer can found something to give them the high. Or can always have had something that provide the high. Mr J always had his clubbing/DJing to provide the high, OW is just an accessory but one who causes a lot of damages and is very expensive.

TT and Snowdrop you are wondering too much and taking Jung too the letter. Jung is fine but one should be a little cautions and not to simple eat all he has said/think.

Still, I doubt any of your husbands has reached the end of their crisis or is stuck in MLC. They have not been in crisis for that long.

A few MLCers never get out of MLC but that is rare. Some MLCer take more than 2,3,4, or even 7 years. More often than not it will be the LBS who will close the door.

Hope all goes well with you and your husband, StillHoping.

[FindingJoJo]

Albatross,

Are you saying that just by taking the hostility out she started reconnecting with you?  Did your wife have an 'awakening' of any kind?

I see that with my own H.  Every time we have a serious issue and R talks with a whole lot of emotion my H regress, then he would process and we could build a friendship again, then another bump and regression again.  Each time it gets shorter and shorter.  He now will talk to me the next day after an incident but he avoids seeing me.  Currently we are in that stage, the previous two weeks we had a great time talking and enjoying our time together.  I do think having hostility around does play a major factor in how much they trust us.  It isn't fair because they betrayed us but in order to rebuild and reconnect they do need to feel safe. 

[FindingJoJo]

Hi Albatross, I have a new thing said to me: my H told me his feelings were dead for me, I was obviously very shaken by that for a bit, then thought "Monster", Carzyjourney posted that that was the death of his Ego, I don't know if I quite understand what that means? Is it another break of himself? But if he does not recognise it, how does he use that to get better, or simply say, no feelings, so goodbye? i'm confused?

My H said to me once don't feed off my emotions because I don't have any - that was April of this year.