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H showed signs of narcissim, and a definite mask was worn throught the time together in certain situations when dealing withnothers,  Drove me nuts as I value honesty, and it was so fake.

I can totally relate to this. One of the things that I am realizing about my H is that his rigidness is a defense mechanism. You mention valuing honesty, I too put a lot value in this as well and up until MLC so did H. However, H almost put too much value on it. There would times that he would say that I was not being truthful when I forgot to mention something; I had truly forgotten but the obessiveness about being truthful was over the top, it left no room for human error. Early on I had interperted this as a noble characteristic (who wouldn't want someone that was honest) but I am now learning that the honesty that he claimed was a mask or maybe a projection. My H is one of those persons that if you don't word the question correctly, even though they know what you asking, they justify that they did not lie, like a loophole.

H and OW have only lived together permanently for 2 or3 months, and since they met and married, had a long distance relationship, so forever in the honeymoon phase.  Now he has moved hundreds of miles to be with her and her family, friends, etc. so no-one knows the real him at all, and theres no-one to ever confront him, only himself, if ever.

   

That is the point of MLC; they don't want to confront themselves, they don't want anyone to know the real him because they are ashamed of the things that they have done. My H has commented on several occasions that he can't believe the things that he has done but at no time has he acknowledged that he shouldn't being doing it. Sometimes it is like an excuse he using to behave badly. This is how they continue to live in escape and avoid. 

[Snowdrop]

Yes, and her provider too, as since then, all his money earned, has gone to them, even when he was here working.  All the money goes to them, and not a penny to his family.

he said she invited him on vacation, where they married.

[Anjae]

Albatross, time for a new Replay thread if you please. Thank you.

[Dreamer]

Albatross, on Friday my h came and took his favorite chair to ow house. Today he came in and seemed happy. I said why did u sneak in and get chair, h smiled and said I have to have a chair. I replied ow has a couch. H said I wanted my own chair. I said when u left u left those things. H then stated he needed gd clothes and shoe size for Xmas presents then gave me ow phone number in case I needed to get a hold of him. He is still trying to tell everyone that ow is a good person. She is good to h but has been snakey to everyone else as she was our dtrs best friend. Can he really be in love with her and wanting to stay with her?

[Albatross]

Albatross, on Friday my h came and took his favorite chair to ow house. Today he came in and seemed happy. I said why did u sneak in and get chair, h smiled and said I have to have a chair. I replied ow has a couch. H said I wanted my own chair. I said when u left u left those things. H then stated he needed gd clothes and shoe size for Xmas presents then gave me ow phone number in case I needed to get a hold of him. He is still trying to tell everyone that ow is a good person. She is good to h but has been snakey to everyone else as she was our dtrs best friend. Can he really be in love with her and wanting to stay with her?

Sure he can be in love with her, it is chemical, anima projected "love". But as we all know love is A LOT complex then "in love".

NEW REPLAY - #4 TOPIC