[in it]

Mine not his.

  I always took controlling for "caring" and that ain't it. I almost got cared to death if that's the case.

And we may feel we didn't take them for granted? But they may have felt differently.

[honour]

And Gerald Rogers the Elite Life Breakthrough Mentor also writes, "I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time."

Let's just hope he doesn't marry someone with a concealed or latent personality disorder, otherwise, like many of us here, he could be in for a shock.

[in it]

I Know I Know!!! LMAO!! Like what age group are you gonna pick? Uhmmm lets see...

[rover77]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randi-gunther/marriage-advice_b_5666990.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

[OldPilot]

I thought it was a good article but the conclusion kind of left me hanging.

Anyone else think differently?

[in it]

After reading the first few sentences one word came to mind - balance.

 A balance is required to maintain a healthy relationship. I've had to be a man for so long I have little comprehension to be a woman anymore.

The marriage I was interested in was a partnership.

 I was the traditional wife. Made sure the bills were paid, took care of the children, did all the housework, took the garbage out mowed the lawn,planned family vacations, and worked part time through the years.And when he did work I did everything including getting his clothes ready for him so he could sleep 15 minutes extra. Cleaned off the car when it snowed and started it so it would be warm for him. Did it have any value?..nope.

I never looked at it as having control I looked at it as being responsible and thoughtful.

Even if I mentioned he might do bill paying? He wouldn't. I suggested maybe he'd like to pay the bills? Oh no.. not interested. Practically ran out of the room with that one.

I know one thing that didn't help whatsoever is he and I spent WAY too much time together due to him either being unemployed or laid off. I'm very happy I won't be spending my retirement years with him.

Think about what the marriage partner in your life did and you may see how much the relationship was out of balance. No marriage is perfect but some work better than others. For me it comes down to an equal respect for what each other does and the kind of person they are. And communication is important! Nobody is a mind reader.

[OldPilot]

I'm very happy I won't be spending my retirement years with him.

So I guess the point of this article is, will you be spending it with anyone?

I know we are a standing website but I do believe that man and women are meant to be in relationships and not spend the rest of their lives alone.

You cant go back - so are we all going to move forward?

[in it]

I don't know..and right now I couldn't care less...hey I'm totally prepared to spend the rest of my life alone if need be.

I can't seem to attract the right person for me. I've got three marriages behind me..I'm pretty sure I won't get married again..it's entirely too much work to maintain a man.

If you keep you emotions tied up in fantasy land it makes it pretty hard to move forward.

Having relationships in your own head isn't healthy. 

And I think you are right - we aren't meant to be alone.

 But if you meet someone new if either person doesn't educate each other as to what works for them to have a healthy relationship the relationship is doomed.

I'm not picking on men but they seem to have problems expressing themselves and allowing themselves to be vulnerable where when women do this? Men use it against them. Some emotional maturity has to happen as far as I'm concerned.

This isn't a competition. Or based on CONTROL. I find if someone allows me free to do what I want to do it makes me feel closer to them. Of course women ..men claim.... are complex.

They want to blame hormones and a million other things as to why the way we are as if something always has to be wrong with us.

 WHY does something have to be wrong with us? Is it because we don't think or feel the way you might? Why can't we just appreciate the differences and have it lead to a compromise?

The strongest men I know EMPOWER women they don't try to put them down all the time.

[toomanytearss]

Very interesting article.  But I think what it comes down to is still selfishness.  It appears the women were looking for more excitement, something different than they had.  Like if you have straight hair then you wish it was curly.  Unfortunately this isn't hair we're talking about, but a committed relationship.  That's a lot of pain to put everyone through because you want a thrill ride.

I know we are a standing website but I do believe that man and women are meant to be in relationships and not spend the rest of their lives alone.

I believe this also.  As far as standing, I think this gives us the opportunity to heal and evaluate what we want from our future.  For me, it's to have a meaningful relationship.  Would I like that to be with h?  Yes, but during this time I am also evaluating if that avenue is even one I would want to go down and if so how much time am I realistically going to put into it.  But love and sharing your life with a partner, for me, is a wonderful thing and I do not want to live my life without that.

[Rookie13]

Sounds just like MLC to me....   The 'grass is greener' effect til it turns brown. These 'other people' can/are only giving 1 quality..Fantasy. Not sure if there is all that 'rocket science' he puts into his article really going on other than Fantasy....Of course that is just my opinion!  ....Maybe the 'author' otta pick up a book on MLC! lol