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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Steps to good mind

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Mirror-Work Steps to good mind
OP: October 31, 2013, 10:00:40 AM
1. Always focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.

The mistake that most of us make when having a problem is to talk about it over and over again instead of focusing on the end result, instead of focusing on what we want to achieve.

2. Know that every problem comes with a lesson.
There is always a lesson in everything that happens to us, and we should constantly look for what that lesson is and master it, because you see, just as Confucius said, “If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.”

3. Don’t believe everything you think.
Our problems aren’t as big as the mind is trying to convince us, and if you choose to believe every negative thought that goes through your mind, you will always get in trouble. Observe your mind, observe your thoughts, but don’t identify yourself with them. Go beyond them.

4. Gratitude.
Choose to express your gratitude for everything that happens to you, whether good or bad, and also for every person you interact with. The more you choose to express your gratitude, the more reasons you will have to express it, and when you’re too busy focusing on the many things that you are grateful for, there will be no more room left for stress and worry, there will be no more room left for negativity.

5. Know that there is a reason for everything.
As Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose.” Therefore, everything that happens and every person who enters your life will ultimately do you good, if you keep your eyes and heart on the Transcendent and on Love, which is God. It’s your responsibility to act upon this knowledge rather than to judge events and people as “bad.” It’s all good, eventually. Believe it.

6. Let go of your need for perfection.
When you try to do everything perfectly, you will meet with stress and frustration, because it’s impossible to be perfect in everything you do. Why would you want to be perfect anyway? Don’t you know that perfection leaves no room for improvement?

7. Let go of your resistance.
Accept things as they are without you trying to change them, without trying to fight against them. When you stress over an outcome and when you resist what is, you fighting against the present moment, against the present reality, against the whole universe, and this is a battle you will never win. Allow yourself to just be. Go with the flow, and know that life wasn’t meant to be a struggle, even though that’s what your mind was trying to convince you all of these years. Learn to “Let go and let God,” knowing that “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning” (Lao Tzu).

8. Learn to be present in everything you do.
When you become present and engaged in the now, your whole life will become easier and you will realize that problems will begin to disappear, little by little. If you get too caught up in your mind, and if you think too much about what happened in the past and about what may happen in the future, you will create a great deal of pain and suffering, and the energy you will generate will be toxic, not only for yourself, but also for those around you, because energy is contagious. Go with love in the present moment.
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Re: Steps to good mind
#1: October 31, 2013, 10:16:12 AM
I have to agree with everything here EXCEPT focusing on what you want.

In my recent experiences I have to focus on WHAT I DO NOT WANT first. I don't find that as a negative.

I do not want another abusive relationship. And I do not want to make the SAME mistakes again.

The only thing I do want right now is peace of mind which 99.9 percent of the time I have. It's that last niggle that gets me. ::)

So as far as I'm concerned as to where I was to where I am now?

I wouldn't trade THIS for anything!
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« Last Edit: October 31, 2013, 11:00:43 AM by in it »
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

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Re: Steps to good mind
#2: October 31, 2013, 10:23:40 AM
I have to agree with everything here EXCEPT focusing on what you want.

In my recent experiences I have to focus on WHAT I DO NOT WANT first. I don't find that as a negative.

I do not want another abusive relationship. And I do not want to make the SAME mistakes again.


If one don't know what he wants, then one don't know who he is. You have a lot people who answer on question "What You want." - "I want to be happy." Everybody want to be happy. To know what one want, one have to know who he is.
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Re: Steps to good mind
#3: October 31, 2013, 10:32:27 AM

    I am; I simply am.
    I think, but I am not my thoughts. I am.
    I believe, but I am not my beliefs. I am.
    I feel, but I am not my feelings. I am.
    Pain and joy are transient, I am enduring.
    I do, but I am not my actions. I am.
    I experience, but I am not my experience. I am.
    I want, but I am not my desires. I am.
    I have but I am not my possessions. I am.
    My body is not me. I am.
    I live, but I am not my life. I am.
    I was and I will be, but now I am.
    I am not that. I am my self.
    I alone am. I simply am.
    I am; I simply am.
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Re: Steps to good mind
#4: October 31, 2013, 10:52:50 AM
I am a creation of God.
I am God's creation.
I am a child of God.
I have been created in God's image.
I have a trace of all the good things of God.
God gives me everything I need.
It is my obligation to give back....to God, to me, to others.
I am love, strength, courage, hope, peace, comfort, security, faith, contentment, calm, trust and joy.
I am the image of God.
That is who I am.
That is my identity.
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TLZ

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Re: Steps to good mind
#5: October 31, 2013, 11:02:30 AM
“When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal.

Seeking means: having a goal.
But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.”

― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
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Re: Steps to good mind
#6: October 31, 2013, 11:05:16 AM
Maybe this thread is a little more complicated than I am.

 I have peace of mind and with that comes everything else. Happiness, contentment, comfort, satisfaction.

When my peace of mind is disturbed I acknowledge it and have patience and disturbance soon fades and peace returns.

That's pretty much it right now.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

B
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Re: Steps to good mind
#7: October 31, 2013, 01:27:44 PM
I think In It has a point.  Often we just do not know what we want.  We have spent so long looking after others that our needs and wants have been buried too deep for us to realise them.

If we can chip away at the things we know we don't want it makes it clearer to see what we do want in life. 
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Hour by hour, day by day

Discovered EA Aug 2012
BD  Dec 2012
Left home  Sept 2013

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Re: Steps to good mind
#8: October 31, 2013, 01:29:54 PM
This is a beautiful thread, Albatross!  Last year I read an amazing little book that I think you would like, too.  It set me on a new path of self discovery.  It's old and not popular, but that made it even more of a gem to me!  It's called "Three Magic Words", and it is lovely:  http://www.amazon.com/Three-Magic-Words-Uell-Andersen/dp/1466311681

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Re: Steps to good mind
#9: October 31, 2013, 02:32:30 PM
The only thing I do want right now is peace of mind...
So as far as I'm concerned as to where I was to where I am now?
I wouldn't trade THIS for anything!
Love YOU, InIt!!  I'm dedicating this song to you.  So, give it a fresh listen - and Crank it!!

Boston  -  Peace of Mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGRrOEbY3pI
Now if youre feelin kinda low bout the dues youve been paying
Futures coming much too slow
And you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayin
Cant decide on which way to go
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now everybodys got advice they just keep on givin
Doesnt mean too much to me
Lots of people out to make-believe theyre livin
Cant decide who they should be.

I understand about indecision
But I dont care if I get behind
People livin in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Take a look ahead, take a look ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
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« Last Edit: October 31, 2013, 02:52:58 PM by WeepingWillow »
me 52  him 51
BD: Aug, 2013
Married 14; Together 17

 

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