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Author Topic: MLC Monster Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC

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MLC Monster Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
OP: December 16, 2013, 11:49:46 AM
Just wondering, do people who find themselves in MLC at any point identify that that was what they were in the midst of? I know that a spouse should never tell their MLC that that is what we feel is driving their behavior but will they ever know?
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DCD

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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#1: December 16, 2013, 12:10:46 PM
i think, in general, they do everything they can while in the thick of it to NOT think about it or analyze the cause of it.  they only think up reasons to justify why they had to do what they did.  having said that, at one point earlier this year (3.5 years since BD for me), husband said to me "i think you're going through a midlife crisis, too!"... so...maybe?  ???

i do think they have moments of clarity but if they ever do identify their crisis as a crisis of self, it will be afterwards, in hindsight.

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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#2: December 16, 2013, 12:56:19 PM
They do...in the way that an alcoholic will "admit" they are an alcoholic to deflect....to make you think that if they are aware of it, they are either handling it so back off..or they are fine with it so back off. Sometimes they announce it to see if you will react by stepping in...know it all! Back off!
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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#3: December 16, 2013, 03:28:04 PM
Mine did.  At BD, he was talking about getting older, losing hair, having to have a hip replacement...yada, yada, yada....then said, "I think I am having a mid-life crisis".

I thought he was talking out of his a$$ and said, he was too old for a MLC.
I Googled later and found out there is such a thing as a Silver MLC.

He also mentioned he is always tired, wanting to take naps, no energy and he thinks he is depressed.

SSG
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l
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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#4: December 16, 2013, 06:17:03 PM
Mine did back when it first started back in 2008 but I honestly don't believe he knew what those words truly meant. I certainly didn't when I first realized what was going on. Just because they acknowledge something is wrong like having a MLC it changes anything. If they were meant to have then they will have one. Nothing can stop it. I may have prolonged the inevitable but he still had one.

He could be out of his by now, who knows. He left for the final time Feb. 7th 2010. The last time I saw him was back in June when I ran into him with his girlfriend at the store.

Since then I have completely let go of the rope. I have no idea where I will be if/when he decides to contact me. I was thrust upon this journey not of my choosing but I can honestly say I am glad it happened. I am so different because of it. I love myself so much more than I could have ever dreamed. I definitely wouldn't want to ever do it again or wish it upon anyone.
 
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B
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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#5: December 16, 2013, 06:18:02 PM
My H was given a book about MLC and aft reading it he is convinced that he has HAD an MLC and now the problem is the relationship between him and me!

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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#6: January 23, 2014, 01:32:34 PM
Here is another Genius platinum for your all!

Genius well, I told him he was having a MLC.  ;D ;D
He replied, "I am not!! I don't have a red sports car!"
I replied, "Umm I forgot to mention the car lot called.  Something about a sting ray??"
"It's blue not red!!!"

That's Corvette Sting Ray. 

With J I never mentioned it.  I just had a bunch of books on MLC laying around the house.  I noticed he poked a bit at them when I was not looking. 

One night he said to me, "So what are you worried that I will have a MLC someday or something?"

I replied, "Umm No, I think you have already had one."


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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#7: January 23, 2014, 01:43:30 PM
When I mentioned it to my H (before I found this site  ::)) he did some research on line and then said "I can see how you would think that would describe me, but I'm not having an MLC."

Appropriate MLC logic don't you think?
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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#8: January 23, 2014, 01:53:33 PM
Quote from: Slow Fade on January 23, 2014, 01:43:30 PM
When I mentioned it to my H (before I found this site  ::)) he did some research on line and then said "I can see how you would think that would describe me, but I'm not having an MLC."

Appropriate MLC logic don't you think?

EXACTLY the response i got when i described in detail why and what he was going through.  he said, though, he had already worked through his issues. (this was at 2 months post bd).  he even agreed about the disconnecting for a year or so before bd. 

doesnt matter though.  its all my fault anyways.  ???
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Mrs. DO
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Re: Do MLCers ever identify themselves as MLC
#9: January 23, 2014, 03:43:19 PM
Quote from: Slow Fade on January 23, 2014, 01:43:30 PM
When I mentioned it to my H (before I found this site  ::)) he did some research on line and then said "I can see how you would think that would describe me, but I'm not having an MLC."

Appropriate MLC logic don't you think?

SF, this is totally what my husband said to me when JP's wife told him that I thought he was having a MLC.  Holy Moly...
Needless to say, I don't talk to her anymore, and I believe JP is beginning his descent into the tunnel.  I will keep you all posted.

CT  8)
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« Last Edit: January 23, 2014, 04:06:44 PM by CrazyTrain »
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