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Author Topic: Mirror-Work Psychological differences between men and women

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Mirror-Work Psychological differences between men and women
OP: January 13, 2014, 06:21:38 AM
    1) Communication skills & body language
The communication center inside a woman's brain is much larger than the communication center inside a man's brain. Women are generally better able to process words and to use language than men provided that all other factors are constant.Women pay special attention to words, read in between lines and can notice the body language of people along with their facial expressions in a much better way than men. (see also Understanding body language better)

    2) Sharing vs problem solving:
Men in general are more independent than women. They even prefer to solve their problems alone without talking about them. Women on the other hand become distressed if they didn't share their problems with their friends even if their friends weren't able to provide solutions. This is a famous point of conflict where a woman tells her man about a problem with the intention of sharing it with him then becomes surprised by the man's single line answer (which is intended to provide a solution to the problem). This is also the reason why women go to bathroom in groups, they just like to share the experience of the day together in a place where no man can watch them

    3) Attraction and sex:
The area inside the brain responsible for sexual desire is much bigger inside the man's brain and as a result:
1) Men think about sex more often than women
2) Men care about looks much more than women care about looks
3) Men can easily get attached to a woman just because she looks hot.
Women do care about looks as well as other important personality traits and resources while men idolize physical looks and can sacrifice many other traits for the sake of getting along with the most attractive woman.

    4) Aggression vs diplomacy:
Women are biologically wired to avoid conflict unless some other psychological factor comes into play and affects their original nature (such as hating their identity, Masculine protest). Men on the other hand are much more aggressive in general. Researches have shown that men are better than women in recognizing angry faces and this enables them to quickly notice their opponents. A typical woman would try to avoid conflict and maintain peace while a typical man will hardly back off if someone threatened or challenged him.

    5) Logical thinking vs emotional thinking:
Men in general can take decisions without being emotionally affected that much while women in general take into consideration other factors that are related to emotions that most men overlook.



How life experiences can override the psychological nature of men and women ?
For example a girl who was raised in a family that didn't make her feel that she was loved might grow to become an aggressive woman just because she thinks that everyone around her is her enemy. (behavior is learned)

Here is another example, women are biologically wired to seek protection and to become attracted to the most resourceful man who can provide protection. Now if a woman had a severe self image problem then this instruction inside her mind might get overwritten and she might find herself attracted to the most handsome man with disregard to his status.

In such a case winning the heart of the attractive man will prove to her that she is attractive and will help her feel good about her looks.

In summary, the factory default settings of men and women can sometimes be overridden by external influences.
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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#1: January 30, 2014, 04:46:47 PM
This is also the reason why women go to bathroom in groups, they just like to share the experience of the day together in a place where no man can watch them

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I ever read.  ;D ;D ;D

I can tell you this about me sometimes the only way I can solve a problem is to talk out loud and then I come to my own conclusion.

 Women usually LISTEN to other women jibber jabber like this and it REALLY helps.

Women process by talking.

What we talk about in bathrooms hasn't got a thing to do with solving problems and we don't necessarily travel in herds to do this. ;D ;D ;D

Most men don't have the PATIENCE required to listen to our "noise" my first ex said I was like a radio   ;D ;D ;D ;D

I COMMUNICATE- sue me.

 If men wanted to HEAR about our day or were INTERESTED they might ASK.

The rest of this article isn't bad.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#2: January 31, 2014, 09:19:43 AM
Quote
This is a famous point of conflict where a woman tells her man about a problem with the intention of sharing it with him then becomes surprised by the man's single line answer (which is intended to provide a solution to the problem).

Quote
I can tell you this about me sometimes the only way I can solve a problem is to talk out loud and then I come to my own conclusion.

Women process by talking.

If men wanted to HEAR about our day or were INTERESTED they might ASK.


^^^All of this!

This is something I had to learn (and I am sure most men do)! We (MEN) typically think logically and are problem solvers! This rings especially true for me; being a leader, decision making and problem solving was a big part of my entire military career! You cannot bring this into the home and start solving the wife's problems like she is one of the troops!

I eventually found rather than trying to solve her problems or half listening while flipping channels, I give her my undivided attention when listening. I make it a point to ask how her day went and if she wants to talk / vent, I let her without interruption. I always maintain eye contact, validate the points, and offer my opinion when asked! I don't know if this is typical with all women, but just getting it all out to an active listener allows her to process (as in it stated) and she will usually draw her own conclusion or just vent it out / share if that is what is needed. It then allows her to relax and make way for more conversation / connecting later.


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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#3: January 31, 2014, 10:42:00 AM
The first two do not apply for my xW.  She never wanted to talk, and was/is a horrible communicator.  She could never express herself and rarely starts a conversation.  She doesn't talk about her feelings and emotions.  You never knew what she was thinking or how she was feeling.  She never told you, and even when asked, it's hard for her to try to tell you.

She was fine if you spoke about the mundane day to day stuff.  But when it's feelings and desires, anything deeper, she is lost and cannot respond, and cannot relate.  This was always the case... even before MLC. 

I dont want to be stuck in that frustrating predicament... ever.  Can't believe I was willing to accept it for so long. 

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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#4: January 31, 2014, 10:49:24 AM
The first two do not apply for my xW.  She never wanted to talk, and was/is a horrible communicator.  She could never express herself and rarely starts a conversation.  She doesn't talk about her feelings and emotions.  You never knew what she was thinking or how she was feeling.  She never told you, and even when asked, it's hard for her to try to tell you.

She was fine if you spoke about the mundane day to day stuff.  But when it's feelings and desires, anything deeper, she is lost and cannot respond, and cannot relate.  This was always the case... even before MLC. 

I dont want to be stuck in that frustrating predicament... ever.  Can't believe I was willing to accept it for so long.

Exactly the same here.
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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#5: January 31, 2014, 10:57:45 AM
Quote
She was fine if you spoke about the mundane day to day stuff.  But when it's feelings and desires, anything deeper, she is lost and cannot respond, and cannot relate.

Mine was able to in the beginning, but slowly drifted; I have never been able to express my feelings comfortably so could be part of the reason. She is starting to slooowly open up on a few things (on her own accord; I don't initiate these talks anymore) and I think BD actually helped with that; like releasing the pressure valve.


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D: 12/16/2014

End State: I'm glad it is over, for several reasons....too many to list here. I am so much better off and, aside from the great kids we have, regret ever marrying her.

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Re: Psychological differences between men and women
#6: February 01, 2014, 07:23:36 PM
Interesting I have yet to spend a lot of time with a female who didn't express herself,

Right now I have a business relationship with a lawyer and I realize it is his business to listen but it's amazing how good it feels to talk, have someone look at me, and LISTEN to me. :o :o :o
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

 

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