[bellagio88]

SW,

Thanks so much - no contact for 7 months??? How have you managed to get through this? That seems like a long time but I guess, in MLC terms, this could still well be firmly in Replay...
Do you lose faith? Do you somehow doubt the process? Or is it that NC enables you to detach and, in a funny way, believe in the process more because you are not interfering with their travel through the tunnel.
I know that you have huge faith and it has helped you. How do you lean on your faith and what prayers/scriptures, passages have been helpful for you throughout this period of no contact...?
x

[Strongwind]

[

Do you lose faith? Do you somehow doubt the process? Or is it that NC enables you to detach and, in a funny way, believe in the process more because you are not interfering with their travel through the tunnel.

Bellaggio, I don't have much a choice. He does not initiate contact so as a result I don't either. I've tried to keep in touch by asking him how he is doing or sending him a text message on New Years day with "I miss u..happy New Year" No response. The OW is keeping him from having any contact with me. Only practical stuff.  Yes, it is very difficult. I'm not sure that I trust this process very much. I know don't know that having contact or not makes any difference at this point. It hurts either way.

I know it's hard Bellaggio. I ask God everyday to give me the strength to move forward. I'm not even sure if I'm dealing with MLC here of if my H has a PD. I need to put it in God's hands because I have absolutely no control over what he does and thinks or what is really happening.

I'm not sure this helps very much. All situations are different. I'm sorry I could not give you much here. Perhaps other LBS have more to say concerning NC and their experiences. Please just know you're not alone in this and that this is a very painful process we all struggle with. ((Big hug)) SW

[Strongwind]

I know that you have huge faith and it has helped you. How do you lean on your faith and what prayers/scriptures, passages have been helpful for you throughout this period of no contact...?
x

Bellaggio I forgot to give you the scriptures that have helped me to make it through one day at a time.

When I thought I was losing my mind:

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

When everyone and my thoughts told me that it was hopeless
and I would never feel any happiness again. That it's all impossible and I should do as the world feels it's right:


Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

When I felt the terrible pain of betrayal and abandonment...the terrible pain of rejection and the terror of having lost the love of my life for ever:

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”


When I thought that there would be no one that I could count on and felt lost:

Numbers 23:19
God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

When I couldn't understand why this was happening to me and I was confused and dismayed:

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I hope these are helpful. Searching the scriptures and finding the scripture that speak to you personally will be your treasure to bring to mind when you need comfort. Sometimes when I read scripture I introduce my name in the midst to make it more real to me, as if God is speaking to me personally. Which he is. We must remember that this is a spiritual battle we're in. This is a fight against the darts of the wicked one. Please forgive me if you feel I'm preaching. I don't mean to do that. I can only say that the Word and promises of God help me to feel peace.

Isaiah 26:3

Thou (God) will keep him (you Bellaggio) in perfect peace, because your mind is stayed on thee: because you trust in Him.

(((big Hug))) 

[in it]

I've been NC for 10 and I'll tell you what? It is a BLESSING. And it wasn't easy. Thank God I have friends.

I fought mostly with anger right off the bat and was only able to let it out in one email to him. The rest of it I've been left to deal with. I fought the loss the first time around.

But anger can be put in a positive direction. The second I stopped focusing on him and what HE DID and how it effected me? I found out there's NOTHING wrong with me.

I can  do all things through Christ which strengthen me.

[Strongwind]

Bellaggio the scripture from Init is very powerful. I can do ALL things.....It mean that you can also do NC and find peace in your heart while doing it. Alone we CANNOT do it. It's unnatural for us to abstain from having contact with the person whom we have been so intimate with and so close ...who was once our best friend. Christ will strengthen you. It is Christ in us...the hope of glory. How powerful if he? Very powerful. The demons trembled at his sight. For the word of God is more powerful than any 2 edge sword.

I find that one day at a time, I can manage the pain as I put my trust in him and go to Him when I feel that I just can't take it any more...He holds you up and will not let you fall.

Having contact with our spouses or partners now is damaging to us because they are not the persons we once knew and they haven't come through their tunnel yet. They can't see clearly and they are taken by anger, depression and guilt. They are broken and we can't fix them. Only God can. All I can do is pray for my H and put him in God's hands.

Know that you're not the only woman who is battling with this. I sometimes think that no one can really know how hard this is for me because I only know my history. What I've seen and what I witnessed is that we all suffer greatly...Suffering is suffering and we all feel the great loss and grief that this crisis has left us with.

I will leave you with one more scripture for it is very powerful when doing NC.

Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

If you can, please read and understand Ephesians 6.
Our fight is not with the MLcer.

(For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.)

I'm praying for you and for all the LBS who, like you, are standing for themselves. (((hug))) SW

[Anjae]

Time to start a new thread if you please, Bellaggio. Thanks.