[in it]

  And just before bomb drop i remember thinking, wow, he is only nice to me when he wants food or f$%*@!#.

  Yep- I've decided it's about money sex or food that's about it!!

[kikki]

low maintenance pre crisis

[Ready2Transform]

Overall low maintenance pre crisis.  Would have spells periodically where he had a bit of mania, I think, and overspend, but that happened more often before we were married.  After marriage, joint finances kept that from happening until the crisis, then he felt entitled.

[Almost there]

Mine seemed low maintenance but I'm not so sure that was the case. He never asked for anything but apparently I was supposed to read his thoughts and meet his needs that way!

[Gone crazy]

High maintenance! In every sense of the way... !!!  Expected you to drop everything as soon as came through the door..

If you didn't reply to text immediately, he would call 5 times. Mad because you took too long..

If I ask him to help me do something when we first got married it was either his day off he didn't want to work, or he had worked all day he didn't want to work!
So I asked finally.." When is a good time for you to help, you can't mon-fri because you work. You can't sat and sun because you don't want to work on your day off? He replied......." Good question?"

Never got answered. I quit asking..

HIGH MAINTENANCE! Lol

[JAJW]

Looking back I'd have to say mine was high maintenance (well, when he was home, which was as little as possible).  The last year and a half was always me and the kids walking on eggshells, there were no discussions that didn't end with a snarky or nasty comment.

He is one of those people who always thinks he is right and belligerent if you probe him wrong. Just like his mother!!!!  He always feels the need to win, was always the one with very little empathy for others (I am a bleeding heart, of course, the exact opposite). He is the one at work who fires people when needed because it doesn't bother him.

Wouldn't it be great if a link to this website for EVERY married couple could go out - a sort of beware and be on the lookout for these signs!

[Sha10613]

My H was definitely a low maintenance accommodator pre-crisis.

[Slow Fade]

Mine seemed low maintenance but I'm not so sure that was the case. He never asked for anything but apparently I was supposed to read his thoughts and meet his needs that way!

This totally describes my H too.....

[R]

Another vote here for low maintenance and accommodator pre BD.

Only ever wanted his own way if he wanted a new car, usually every 18 months.

TT - mine too, or a bike!  Good to see their priorities?! 
xxx

[Kitten]

Interesting...almost two distinct patterns here.  The low maintenance folks who flew below the radar and "kept the peace." And then the high maintenance folks who ran us ragged to keep them content. No happy mediums here.