[Dagolark]

What a sad state to be in. I've busted my ass to start a career and build a good life for myself,  I can't imagine waking up in 10 years and realizing I'm nothing and life has just passed me by. Too bad mlcers think that slaughtering those closest to them is the way to go.

[Sunny]

I just thought I'd post about my housemate who is going through MLC.

Stats:

38 years old, single, never married, no children
Horrible family (I've met them) who emotionally abuse him
Factory worker
Eyesight problems

He was going out with my SIL until May of this year. Despite my SIL telling him it's over, he still believed they were going out. A month ago he started getting very worked up whether they were still going out. It was then I noticed how incredibly selfish he is. He doesn't see or understand anyone else's needs. He stalked her before she came back from holiday and I struggled for an hour to convince him to go. He was insisting on talking with her, whether she wants to or not. I said how exhausted she would be. Eventually he went, but he was so cold and dominating and refusing to consider anyone else. I noticed he was on the  slippery slope a few months ago. He is very emotionally unstable.

A couple weeks ago he started monstering at SIL, all made up, and even started stalking her and calling her dozens of times in a day. That seems to have stopped now. Last night he started monstering about her  and I had to tell him to stop. He clearly wanted me to agree with him about my SIL!! I told him this in inappropriate and I don't walnut to talk about it. Eventually he stopped. Then he began with the sob story, he's so unhappy, he hates his life, he says he will be lonely forever, he has no one to talk to  and that he would never be happy etc etc. big pile of poor me. My SIL says I have no heart but I know it's all manipulation and bs. Another boundary set up.

I told SIL today about his monstering, and she said it's all lies. She countered everything he said. She also said how he was complaining to her last week that she ignores him but if Sunny wants anything, she responds right away. She did get angry at him, pointed out he has family and friends whereas I have no family except SIL. He expects everyone to drop everything to tend to him.

The weird thing about the monstering, and maybe this is normal is that the next day he has forgotten everything. He has called SIL up the next day and no memory at all of his horrific outburst. Needless to say, SIL did not forget. I've advised SIL to distance herself from him now, he is only going to get worse. Despite his protestations, she does not owe him anything.

I'm tolerating all this because I refuse to listen to bs. He also has this insatiable need to be admired. So annoying! Needless to say, I don't play along.

He also gets himself worked up to near panic about things that haven't happened and are very unlikely to happen. He gets in a state about his work or his dad (has major daddy issues, can't open a box of tissues without calling his dad and asking for his help.) His dad is an ogre.

It's weird for me as H ran away at bd and I have rarely seen in all this time. So much of his crisis has been hidden from my view. Just as well!

[Anjae]

Sunny, please be so kind to stick to a single thread about this issue until it reaches 150 posts. Thank you. 

Single people have MLC and their crisis are not that different from married people. Obvious differences are that there is no LBS and no OW/OM. And no divorce.

Single people MLC are less talked about here because the board deals with married/partnered people, but some of us know single people who had/are having a MLC.

It is normal to forget the mostering and other things. MLCer forget things they did and said. Even if just the day before.

A single person MLC allow us to know/understand that MLC has nothing to do with the spouse, marriage, kid. If it had, single people would not have MLC.

You are seeing how your husband crisis is. Not nice, is it? Your housemate is not happy is he? Our MLCers love to tell us how happy they are in their new life, but there is no happiness in the life of a MLCer.

[Sunny]

Thanks for joining my post with this thread Anjae. 

I guess this is all old news for those with clingers/boomerangs, but as H has mostly been a vanisher, it is all new to me and very shocking too. Yes you're right, MLC has absolutely nothing to do with another person. I have huge respect for those who live with this. The level of drama even at this early stage is quite shocking.

[CallanG]

Hi Sunny

Thanks for the information , it must be difficult to watch up close and personal .

You sounded very good in your earlier post , I hope things continue in such a positive way for you .

Callan

[Sunny]

Thanks Callan, yes I'm doing ok. It is disturbing to see the level of crazy thinking going on in front of me! Today he was telling me how many times he's been sick from drinking.  he thinks it's hilarious!  very strange!

I think his MLC might gave been triggered by his nan's passing a couple years ago. Recently, because of his eyesight, his position had been downgraded (He was a crane operator!  ) which I think has pushed his MLC to the surface now, plus breaking up with my SIL. Madness!

[Dagolark]

"He also has this insatiable need to be admired. "

Claaaaaassic MLC...

[Anjae]

It is disturbing to see the level of crazy thinking going on in front of me!

You are not used to it. Those of us who have seen it before our eyes for months or years somehow got used to it. Not that it is not disturbing, it is just that we become less and less surprise with their self destructive antics.

Today he was telling me how many times he's been sick from drinking.  he thinks it's hilarious!  very strange!

And isns't it?  They are nuts. Mr J, who I have never seen drunk in 20 years now over drinks gin and prides himself of his hangovers and of how his liver suffer. It is so hillarious they may die from it. nuts.

I think his MLC might gave been triggered by his nan's passing a couple years ago. Recently, because of his eyesight, his position had been downgraded (He was a crane operator!  ) which I think has pushed his MLC to the surface now, plus breaking up with my SIL. Madness!

Yep, but all normal reasons for a MLC to show up.