[RivenIN2]

Just a thought for those of you that get stuck analysing this for are they/are they not MLC? During my time here and before I have noticed that many issues are similar and the advice here works for more then just MLC. There are many techniques for dealing with a non responsive or negitive spouse that will work even if it is not MLC.


Dont get caught over analysing your situations and using that as an excuse to stop reading the info here, just read everything before making any decisions, you never know what might help.


Just my 2 cents......

[Slow Fade]

the advice here works for more then just MLC

I agree Riven, I found what I had learned here very helpful when dealing with my Mom after her stroke.......it would have been a lot harder on me if I hadn't been learning about how to deal with MLC. It has applications on so many levels........

[CallanG]

Just thought I would share something a freind of mine said , she has been suffering badly with depression and she said that it scared her that a some points she can not even feel anything for her children (and she dotes on them) . She said at times the only thing that stopped her running away was the fact that as her Husband travels alot there is no one else to take care of them .

Callan
xx

[serenity]

Thank you Callan,

I really think that was a very valid post and another insight into this awful illness.

Just also like to say, for the record, what a brilliant, wonderful, kind and patient friend you are to me. Look forward to seeing you very soon, my lovely friend. I'm so grateful to this site for bringing us together!

X

[31andcounting]

Callan~  I remember vividly my H saying (often)  "I just want to feel something"  can't imagine how awful and scary that would be!
Serenity, so nice that you two get to meet up enjoy!
31

[serenity]

Hi 31,

I hope you too, have managed to meet up with other LBS's from this site. It's been the best thing ever for me. I have lots of lovely friends, but none totally understand, so I hope you're lucky enough to have someone near you?

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again, my H says he wishes this was just all a nightmare and that he could just wake up and it's not real! How awful to live in their distorted world with no feelings.

X

[Dr. NO]

Recently I read a book  --- Many lives, Many masters.  Found it very useful, brought peace to me and felt liberated.  The book is written in 1988.

[CallanG]

I have posted often about my Fathers depression , he seems to have slipped in to a really dark spell again and his behaviour can only be described and strange but when he tells me what he has done he does not see anything wrong . He is living in his own reality at the moment which is where most of our MLC'ers live .

Here goes , this one is very strange but he does not see it . He has become obsessed with his own death, he has arranged his funeral and given me all of the details . He has also dug up his pet dog that passed away 2 years ago and put the remains in a basket in the attic. Part of his funeral plan is that he wants to be buried with the dog . Alot of people have been utterly gobsmacked by this , he thinks it is normal.

His depression and weird behaviour has been building over the last few weeks , and over the weekend he attended a 70th Birthday party for his ex wife (not my Mother) infront of a large table of people he started and argument and would not let it go, he then would not leave until he had finished his meal even though everybody else felt uncomfortable. He has now fallen out with everybody at the party. He feels that he is blameless in all of this .

On the day of his ex wifes actual birthday he harrassed her with petty demands for apologies even though he had cause all of the trouble and then ended the calls by calling her a $l()t .

He sat telling me this last night looking quite pleased with himself and almost proud . I was speechless to say the least , but in his reality he sees hmself as the victim and nothing at the moment will change that .

After telling me this he then started to tell me that he had been in hospital last week .  I was suprised as I knew he had been on holiday last week , it turns out he was actually talking about two months ago , again his reality is warped and his memeory is twisted .

I hope this gives some insight once more of how distorted the mind becomes with depression . I read an article a few days ago that called depression "The garbage truck" it comes along and dumps all of your bad memories , insecurities and anger in your mind on a constant video feed whilst blocking out all the good stuff in your life . Only when the garbage truck leaves can the good stuff start to come back .

Callan

[jos1.9]

Very interesting to read that Callan.  I know the bit about the time sounded familiar.  My H has said that things that happened months ago seemed like only days ago.  I have read somewhere that time is not linear to a depressed person - like a ball of string instead of the string being unravelled in a straight line the bits of string touch at different places in the ball.
Interesting that your father picks a fight with people around him.  This is what our H tends to do when they monster.
A good insight into the depressed mind. Thanks for posting.

[31andcounting]

Oh my gosh CallanG, that is just terrible.  So scary isn't it? Such and awful sickness depression is.  Is he still on meds or had he ditched those?  How I hope H does not go there again, but I guess always a chance.
(((hugs)))
31