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Author Topic: MLC Monster Men's friendships

s
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MLC Monster Re: Men's friendships
#10: September 21, 2014, 11:32:41 AM
What a winner S&D. Yes my h's ow showed her colours with that comment to my friend. She knew nothing about me personally,yet wanted to hurt me with what she knew would get back to me. Nice lady.

It kind of defies me though why these men go through life confiding in no one, then when they do they pick the worst person possible and for the worst possible reason.

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SSG

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Re: Men's friendships
#11: September 21, 2014, 11:38:13 AM
Quote from: superdog on September 21, 2014, 04:20:42 AM
Ditto in it. My h has never been interested in other people as people. He has one friend outside his work and very rarely sees him. If I ask how his sick wife is, my h can't answer me because he hasn't asked.

My h did things for others purely as a means of getting what he needed himself. Eg people thinking he was the good guy, when actually it was all about him and he ultimately resented what he was giving. This also includes his own family.

My h covered up his disinterest as not prying in others business. Rubbish, he genuinely was not interested. He didn't want others to know who he was so he projected this on to other people as a means of maintaining distance. That includes me btw.

I guess it's now at midlife that my h has realised how few people/ friends he actually has, hence my uber clinger. Outside of this house he has pretty much no one.

Wow Superdog...you just described my H as well.  Thanks to MLC, he treated the few friends he had like crap...and now has nearly next to none.

SSG
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Even if you are the minority of one, the truth is the truth.   Mahatma Ghandi

Together-17 years
M- 15 Yrs
BD- June 24, 2013
Affair began May 2012
moved in with OW August 2013
Aug 2014, H diagosed with terminal cancer
H filed for divorce Sept 2014
H Died 3 March, 2015
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Re: Men's friendships
#12: September 21, 2014, 11:45:48 AM
Yep S&D nailed it that's for sure..those of you who are not dealing with the sheer selfishness of it anymore be grateful..get a perspective and the rose colored glasses come off.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: Men's friendships
#13: September 21, 2014, 01:44:05 PM
The only person my h confided in before all this was me. He still hasnt told ow a lot. He looks down on her and i can see he feels like he has some kind of superiority to her. She has to do what he says or its a huge fight. Of course if she gives in he sees her as pathetic and if she doesnt then all hell breaks loose. Never was like that with me.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person
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Re: Men's friendships
#14: September 21, 2014, 01:59:13 PM
Come to think of it Mr. Pixie never really had many friends either. But since all of this started he has complained that he doesn't have friends and he wants a lot of friends. He wants best friends. So its some kind of male bonding he is looking for. Since this started he has attempted friendships with the younger crowd and will immediately call them his best friend without knowing them. He gets an obsession with them. How you can you be best friends with someone who is close to your S's age????
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O
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Re: Men's friendships
#15: September 21, 2014, 02:13:52 PM
That's an easy Q to answer, Pixiegirl!  Through his regression, he does think he is the same age as your S and his friends are!!   I don't know what that age is but H seems to like it.   ::)
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OceanLady
Me 59
H   57
S15, now S20, came home end of 6/15.
M   6/1994 (only marriage)
BD1 12/08 He told me to leave the house for no reason.  I did not leave my house or family.
BD2 3/10 he asked for a D
BD3 4/10 H filed for the D
BD4 5/10 H flew 1400 miles to see OW
BD5 6/10 he walked out w/OW in  tow
Divorce final Feb. 2013
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Re: Men's friendships
#16: September 21, 2014, 02:40:45 PM
Well that would be 21-25 OceanLady! S is 18. But Mr. Pixie tried to attempt best friendships with S's friends too. I suppose he has grown up a bit since he is now in the 21-25 range.
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