[Superman]

I think braincell is working on a success story.

He hasn't posted lately but from other communication it appears to be headed in the right direction for him.

I'll see if I can get him to post an update.

[gillies9]

the shame of this is male/female when and if they  come back  there still broken people who have inflicted major emotional and financial damage to the lbs and there families we should continue to heal and grow they remain stagnant

[Split open and melt]

'Stepping Stone' seems to be moving toward reconciliation. Wishing him the best!

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4928.140

[Jackolar12]

Thanks to everyone for contributing female return stories and keep them coming please it gives us male Lbs spouses a Ray of Hope.
Kind regards
Jackolar12

[twiceburnt]

Just keep in mind, the ray of hope isn't for us.  Your MLC spouse will be begging for a ray of hope one day (or they'll continue to spiral out of control the rest of their lives).  They will get a second chance if we want to accept it.  Unfortunately, by that time, most of us will have moved on.  Just keep living your life as if she isn't coming back...and one day, out of the blue, when you least expect it, is when they usually try to return.  Then it is decision time for you...a very tough decision.

The destruction they cause is on par with a metaphorical nuke and long lasting.  And it will still bite you years down the road even if you reconcile.  I got stung financially recently from when she returned the first time.  She wracked up tons of debt that I had no idea about. 

In the end, they destroy themselves.  As much pain and loneliness they cause us, it will hit them twice as hard eventually. 

One thing that amazes me is the amount of people that seem to be OK with what she's doing.  Do we really have that many screwed up, depressed, immoral people living in the world?!?  I mean, who "likes" a facebook post from the OM who says he was with my W for the weekend?!  Messed up world we live in...

[confused_but_trying]

Just keep in mind, the ray of hope isn't for us.  Your MLC spouse will be begging for a ray of hope one day (or they'll continue to spiral out of control the rest of their lives).  They will get a second chance if we want to accept it.  Unfortunately, by that time, most of us will have moved on.  Just keep living your life as if she isn't coming back...and one day, out of the blue, when you least expect it, is when they usually try to return.  Then it is decision time for you...a very tough decision.

The destruction they cause is on par with a metaphorical nuke and long lasting.  And it will still bite you years down the road even if you reconcile.  I got stung financially recently from when she returned the first time.  She wracked up tons of debt that I had no idea about. 

In the end, they destroy themselves.  As much pain and loneliness they cause us, it will hit them twice as hard eventually. 

One thing that amazes me is the amount of people that seem to be OK with what she's doing.  Do we really have that many screwed up, depressed, immoral people living in the world?!?  I mean, who "likes" a facebook post from the OM who says he was with my W for the weekend?!  Messed up world we live in...

My thoughts exactly.  My W posted on facebook that she was moving to another town and after a buddy of mine asked her why, she said "guess??".  Then a few minutes later she said "H is not coming with me".  Followed with "starting off fresh, getting a new start".  She also removed her marriage status.  It's like she wanted people to know that she is "available".  Of course, a bunch of her loser friends "liked" the status update as if it's a good thing that she is leaving her family to "go have fun".  After her mom and younger sister found out about it she deactivated her facebook account and hasn't been on since.

[nah]

I probably posted this story on one of my threads but it's appropriate here-

My husbands best friend of 40+ years and his wife were married for about 10 years.  They had a 3 year old son.  He is a musician and doesn't make a lot of money, she is a paralegal.  She started a relationship with a judge and left her family.  She said at the time, she was attracted to the life style of being with a judge instead of always struggling financially.  They divorced quickly (she worked for a divorce lawyer) and she was gone for about 2 years.  At the time my husband was furious with her.  "T" said he came home one day and she was mowing the lawn.  They remarried about 2 years later.

They have been a great support to me since BD.  They were over my house talking and "T" talked about a time that they had to meet to exchange papers.  He said he asked "P" (after she handed him the papers) to have a cup of coffee with him.  He said she hardly looked up and said she didn't have time.  She almost cried when he was recounting this story, she didn't remember the interaction.  With me standing there, she said, "T" I'm am so sorry that I put you through that.  They both agree that the second marriage is far better than the first.

Of course I asked her what it was like when she was gone.  She always starts by stating at the time she was a horrible mother.  She was very selfish and was only thinking of herself.  and yes, even though it seemed she was happy, she always had one eye on "T".  She said she often compared her boyfriend to "T" and the boyfriend just never completely had her heart.  She said she felt like she was acting, trying to be someone she was not.  It really hit her when she was driving (that's when we always do our thinking, right?) to another state to meet her boyfriend to see a Bruce Springsteen concert.  She said the whole way all she could think about was how much she hated Bruce Springsteen (lol) and why is she pretending.

She said she started to panic b/c now "T" had a girlfriend.  Long story short, they reconciled and it's been a good 15 years that they are together again.

It does happen.

[MeNow]

I probably posted this story on one of my threads but it's appropriate here-

My husbands best friend of 40+ years and his wife were married for about 10 years.  They had a 3 year old son.  He is a musician and doesn't make a lot of money, she is a paralegal.  She started a relationship with a judge and left her family.  She said at the time, she was attracted to the life style of being with a judge instead of always struggling financially.  They divorced quickly (she worked for a divorce lawyer) and she was gone for about 2 years.  At the time my husband was furious with her.  "T" said he came home one day and she was mowing the lawn.  They remarried about 2 years later.

They have been a great support to me since BD.  They were over my house talking and "T" talked about a time that they had to meet to exchange papers.  He said he asked "P" (after she handed him the papers) to have a cup of coffee with him.  He said she hardly looked up and said she didn't have time.  She almost cried when he was recounting this story, she didn't remember the interaction.  With me standing there, she said, "T" I'm am so sorry that I put you through that.  They both agree that the second marriage is far better than the first.

Of course I asked her what it was like when she was gone.  She always starts by stating at the time she was a horrible mother.  She was very selfish and was only thinking of herself.  and yes, even though it seemed she was happy, she always had one eye on "T".  She said she often compared her boyfriend to "T" and the boyfriend just never completely had her heart.  She said she felt like she was acting, trying to be someone she was not.  It really hit her when she was driving (that's when we always do our thinking, right?) to another state to meet her boyfriend to see a Bruce Springsteen concert.  She said the whole way all she could think about was how much she hated Bruce Springsteen (lol) and why is she pretending.

She said she started to panic b/c now "T" had a girlfriend.  Long story short, they reconciled and it's been a good 15 years that they are together again.

It does happen.

Beautiful story.

There you go dear nah, things are not always as they seem.

[nah]

Keep it up, MeNow, and your going to have another crazy woman on your hands complicating your life. 

[gillies9]

there friends so called want to see them go down a few notches a couple have told me that she is messed but dont want to lose her friendship by confront her the other a new person is a ow who firetrucks everthing in sight and im sure will turn the wife into one and before u jump all over me you are who u hang out with hang out with ows male /female u become a ow all her new friends have major issues they like to party there life away.sorry if i sound bitter but all this crap about its and oppurtunity for growth is bull$h!te ive seen no growth just a downward spiral too doom.