[Thunder]

MH,

I read an article a few years ago where they took a survey of some kind and the results showed how the 4 groups hit on happiness.

Most happy: married men
2nd most happy: single women
3rd most happy: single men
Most unhappy: married women

Now it was taken a few years ago so it may be changing but I found it odd married men were the happiest and married women were the most unhappy.  Not even sure I agree but it does seem men look at marriage as a greater advantage to their mental well being than women do.
I'm not a man so I'm only guessing.     Things could very well be changing.

[MeNow]

Marriage and kids are the stabilizing force for men. Who knows where I would have ended up if I hadn't. I was partying it up when I met W. The kids cemented it for me. It forced me to do some growing up for sure.

[Mad Hatter]

MH,

I read an article a few years ago where they took a survey of some kind and the results showed how the 4 groups hit on happiness.

Most happy: married men
2nd most happy: single women
3rd most happy: single men
Most unhappy: married women

Now it was taken a few years ago so it may be changing but I found it odd married men were the happiest and married women were the most unhappy.  Not even sure I agree but it does seem men look at marriage as a greater advantage to their mental well being than women do.
I'm not a man so I'm only guessing.     Things could very well be changing.

I would be more curious to see the age range of each of these individual groups and the reasons why. That would be more telling!

Marriage and kids are the stabilizing force for men. Who knows where I would have ended up if I hadn't. I was partying it up when I met W. The kids cemented it for me. It forced me to do some growing up for sure.

Would agree with this in the nuclear marriage era; this fulfills the need in our nature as providers / protectors. Now days, not so sure.

[elray]

Thunder is right -- there is a gender happiness gap.

The fascinating data behind this married/single gender issue is that men have been pretty steady, while women's happiness has been dropping in a one-way direction.  Happiness levels for women have been declining since the 70s and are now lower than men.

Sociologists are puzzled on this trend for years.  Even as female freedoms and choices have been increasing due to many cultural forces including birth control, higher college participation, wider career options, broader acceptance of domestic chore sharing with men, increased service consumption such as dining out etc -- happiness has declined.

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_there_a_happiness_gender_gap


Mad Hatter -- as you suggested age would also be a factor, women live longer, and would therefore skew to an older average age. 

[OldPilot]

yes but I understand that married men live the longest and single men die the soonest

[MeNow]

I think modern feminism has steered women in this direction much to chagrin of the family.

For men, I think age plays a part in their confusion when kids are grown and they're nearing retirement. Their role as protector/provider is coming to an end and they don't know what to do next.

[Dji76]

op, not sure live span has anything to do with happiness...

Maybe there is merit to the "grin and bear it" way boys are raised. Simply putting a smile on your face effects your mood. Im not convinced of the benefits of being uber in touch with feelings. Lots of crap is gonna happen in life, we only control our reaction to it. I'd rather keep my head up and push through than "have a good cry". Not to say I never cry, but what good does it do to dwell on the negative feelings?

[elray]

Betty Freidan lays out the siren call well in The Feminie Mystique in the now famous opening line of her book from 1963.

"The problem lay buried, unspoken for many years in the minds of American women.  It was a strang stirring, as sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning that women suffered in the middle of the twentieth century in the United States.  Each suburban wife strugled with it alone.  As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scounts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night -- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question "Is this all?"



To me, this is the call that took my wife into MLC and may be closely linked to the happiness gender gap, as feminism leverages this question and raises it over and over, with an resounding answer of "HELL NO!!!! there must be more"  -- and the more corrosive implication: if you are happy with this, something is wrong with you.

[Dji76]

If men do in fact remarry faster perhaps it's simply because they want to be married?!? If 70% of divorces are initiated by women it may be safe to assume the husband didn't want to be single in the first place. It's like losing a job... If u get fired but want to keep working u find a new job. If u want to be married but wife opts for divorce u find a new wife. I know it's not that simple...

[Mac49]

With my apologies to the women on the site.

I think it is quite easy to describe a married woman's unhappiness.

Woman have a double standard when it comes to their relationship's. When they first meet someone and feel the physical and emotional connection they will do everything in their power to latch onto that person. However over time as this person meets their needs, marries them, provides stability and support, the focus changes, children become more important, careers interfere with together time, expectations change, dissatisfaction with spouse that they didn't take the garbage out immediately upon request, or the bundle of flowers they brought home wasn't for the right season leads to an overall lack of respect. They start to see attractive men all around them that stirs their libido as the husband no longer does. Lying, deceit, cheating, affairs, MLC follows. It is just so much easier to get out of this stifling marriage than to put any effort into it no matter who gets hurt.

The problem is reality strikes, newly single yes however the support system is gone, hubby ain't around to sit with the kids while their off at playtime, hubby isn't providing the resources, the safety, or the filter.

Men sniff around but they only have one interest, divorced 30's or 40's looking, looking, looking, too late in most instances to realize how good they had it, because some other women has figured it out and snatched up their man. Why do women complain there are no good men left? Because most good men who have been shat upon will no longer tolerate the double standard.

I would be curious to see the happiness level of divorced women 1, 5, and 10 years following their divorce.

Mac