[OldPilot]

You are really making me feel old!

2009,
 life is great,
 mlc is still going strong.

[Thunder]

Old Pilot, I highly doubt your older than me.  LOL

Seriously, I do think some MICer's take a very long time, then there are a few who never come out of it at all.
I knew a man like that.  Went into a MLC crisis (had a great family) and never came out of it.  He went from partying to other women, to partying to more women, to pa...well you get the picture.  Last time I saw him he was in his 70's, drunk with 2 young women on his sleeve.
 

[1Cor.13]

Hi I would like to hear how the Class of 2011 are doing....if your BD was in 2011 where is your MLCer right now? High energy replay? Vanisher? Reconnecting? Still with the original OW? Does your MLCer have a job? Has he moved away? Do you still have contact with him?

--------------------------
   Class of 2011 here..BD was 10 days before our 21st anniversary, Aug 3. I have gone pretty much NC, his first OW affair crashed and burned, ended with alot of drama. He is on Facebook with his arms around much younger women at bars, he has gained about 50 lbs, he looks ridiculous. Now he has another OW that he claims he will marry, he has known her 6 weeks and they go out drinking and party in Vegas, Palm Springs, etc.  (we aren't divorced, he wanted me to take care of it). So, suffice to say he is still in deep. I am doing so much better, I am not "standing" for him anymore, too much damage, but I still pray for him. My healing from this (and our Daughter too, she is 19 now) has taken quite a long time, but I am also a different person than I was.

Take Care everyone!

[jos]

I would like to hear how the Class of 2011 are doing....if your BD was in 2011 where is your MLCer right now? High energy replay? Vanisher? Reconnecting? Still with the original OW? Does your MLCer have a job? Has he moved away? Do you still have contact with him?

Yep, another one over here!

I found out about Hs affair April 2011. He's been telling me it's over for 4.5 years and I:ve been stupid enough to listen to him    (and not strong enough to anything about it until 6 weeks ago when I threw him out). yay...

He has just started to get into his crisis a lot deeper.......now we only contact each other about the kids (which he sees two evenings and one day on the weekend) and my business (he built my website and has offered to keep it updated for me).

He's still blaming me for not working 10 years ago (was looking after 3 children, including one with autism), for not being able to help him when he most needed it, for trapping him in his job, for me quitting a job in 2010, for not being intelligent enough for him........... wah wah wah  Have just seem him tonight and he avoided me like the plague......so much guilt wrapped up in his head. He'd defo be a vanisher if it wasn't for the kids. He has NO interest in me (but plenty in OW (she's married with 4 kids aged between 8 and 16 and Hs working with her husband!!!)  I'd love to be a fly on the wall in their workplace

Hs still looking for another job (this is the 5th year hes been talking about it) and finally has an interview this week. If he gets it it'll mean he'll be living over 200 miles away from me and the kids and meaning he'll not be able to look after the kids on nights and weekends when I work. (so I won't be able to work).

Hs been a very low energy wallower until I threw him out, now he seems to have summoned up the energy to get himself out on dates (I think he's now on a dating site) . I think he's cranking up for a bit of high energy sh$gging, if I:m not mistaken.

I can't bear to look at him - he repulses me in every way. I've been thinking a lot about
 D I V O R C E lately, but will wait until I:ve been free of him for 2 years (so 6.5 yers post BD). I think that's enough for anyone. 

Jos x

[Bailmor]

Hello, fellow 2011 classmates!  I joined this great fraternity after BD in Feb, 2011.  W lived part-time in another state, the last 3 years with OM, comes back to see kids (D17 & D14) a couple days a week.  Communication is very sparse, unless something involving kids.  I have refused to file at this point because I didn't want the divorce.  I have grown a bit weary but at this point, still standing (but wobbling).  So, right now, W is showing some signs, not sure what that all means but something is happening. Only time will tell both for her and for me. 

[Returned]

bump

[Jagger]

That would be me

BD may 2011.high energy replayer , crazy man I kicked out immediately, went straight to alienator, server who worked in our restaurant, was a "friend or more like needy little sister" of mine.

At least 5 returns in first 2 yrs with constant touch and goes. Ask me to take him back at 2 1/2 yrs post bd. agreed to take it slow, I was terrified. He moved into his own apt and we spent a lot of time together reconnecting without ow in picture....or so I thought... He moved back home while I was called back home as my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

Spent some time in home town together with family , he was manic , all over the place. Did some " research" texting resumed with ow. I kicked him out again.
Went NC for 4 months...complete NC...would not respond to emails, texts phone calls. Had the kids wait for him outside and not allow him in the house.

Received a text from him telling me that he loved me and did not want to hurt me anymore April 2015. Ow just a friend, not what you think bla bla bla.
Has been living with his parents since he moved out of family home last time summer of 2014.

Told him that if he had any kind of contact with ow I would file for divorce next day end of August 2015. He denied it.

Saw a lot of attempts back to replay until beginning of this year.Reconnected with his family in what seems authentic. Is reconnecting to the children in positive ways. Seems like ties have been cut with alienator.

Restaurant is closed due to new owners, lease was not renewed, he has been out of work for 16 months . Seems to have lost his drive to open a new place.  Something he was manic about for the first 6 months .I have removed myself from the equation completely.

He Has had heart palpitations,   Dizziness and was put on meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Always tired and still not sleeping well. I don't ask , he lets me know.

He seems burnt out. Spends a lot of time watching Ww2 documentaries and taking online  courses.

I dont analyze, these are just observations.

I keep my boundaries up. He seems to finally be respecting them.

This has not been a walk in the park and does take a heck of a long time.

Jagger

[Returned]

My BD was Nov 2011. Definitely high energy replay.

I am thrilled to say that at long last I am seeing a little tunnel movement here 

He just landed a job after a long hiatus. Still with OW. But for the first time his facial expression, way of speaking, and eye contact are virtually normal. Shark eyes are gone. I am thrilled. Kind of spooky to see him back to normal. Wow, I was losing faith that this day would come. 

It has been four long long years. Hope I am not reading more into this than I should.

[Thunder]

Class of 201ow1 here too (Jan,)

We were D'd in May of 2012..0r no it was 2013.  He had a very bad lawyer.

First year he tried to find someone else through dating sites and a bogus dating service but it never happened for him.
He is a very Low Energy type MICer.

Long story.  We are together and things are working pretty well but he still has some work to do before I can accept him as a true partner.

[onlyjo]

I would like to hear how the Class of 2011 are doing....if your BD was in 2011 where is your MLCer right now? High energy replay? Vanisher? Reconnecting? Still with the original OW? Does your MLCer have a job? Has he moved away? Do you still have contact with him?

Hey all you LBSs out there in LBS land...

I'm class of 2011, too.
found out in December of '11 that the MLCer had consulted with a divorce attorney (they all call themselves "family law" attorneys--my atty included--ha!)  the MLCer had charged the initial consult to our joint checking account.  unbelievable.

found out about OW in March of '12--after I had point-blank asked the MLCer if he was having an affair with OW (our former neighbor) and he lied/denied/lied/denied

we "worked on" our marriage from March of '12 until November of '12--included multiple leavings and returnings by the MLCer, and if you count "working on the marriage" to include still sticking it to the OW--CRAZY TOWN. 

by November of '12, I realized I was no longer willing to live like the MLCer was asking me to live, and he moved out officially (and i had the locks changed, which was probably the best idea i ever had) and he could not get back in

i filed for D in november of '12--waffled a bit, then got monster and monster and crazy and more crazy and decided that MLC trumps divorce and that i had to GET OFF THE CRAZY TRAIN, which i really didn't completely until recently--i kind of have this visual of me NOT being on the crazy train, but still waiting at the station and watching it pass by and pass by and pass by with not much changing...

the MLCer lived with his mama, and then next door to his mama.
the MLCer got fired from his job of 11+ years and remained unemployed for 19 months

all this time, OW was still in the picture

i moved from the marital home in july of '13; d was final in february of '14

the MLCer dragged me back to court in july of '15, to try to weasel out of paying appropriate child support, to try to trick a judge into letting him claim the d's on his taxes--the judge shut him down, and i have felt like $100 bucks ever since.  i think that was kind of what really helped me spring forward--that last court date

the MLCer married OW and wears a wedding ring--the MLCer and OW must be meant for each other--they're now "officially" married, and they're both liars, cheaters, and thieves.  maybe they live with each other because they can't live alone with themselves?  who knows.

the MLCer, as long as i knew him, was a low-energy wallower and was very passive aggressive with everyone, not just me.  the MLCer, as long as i knew him, and confirmed by others--before i knew him, is the world's biggest tightwad.  OW is a high energy histrionic (I'm pretty sure she's HPD) who is a SPENDER.  she spends other people's money (namely her 2 prior and current husbands' money).  the MLCer and OW are currently fixing up a dump (and from what i can tell thru the d's--dropping a $h!teload of money) in a sketch neighborhood that's far away from where the d's and i live our lives.  i think this "new" wife and "new" house mean that the MLCer is still in replay. 

not my problem.  thank God.  i do hope the MLCer can find peace.  maybe he's found it--from what i know now, though, it's not true peace--it's replay/running peace and that won't last i don't think.

just keepin' on keepin' on. 
onlyjo