[Thunder]

I did something really stupid.  I sorted out all his family pictures and put them in an album for him and his brothers to keep.
That wasn't the stupid thing.  You have to remember it was early on and I was in the process of moving out and hurting.

I left our main wedding picture under the TV, where it always was..and a fun picture of us (in our happier days) with the dogs that my mom had made for us.   Left it on the bedroom wall.
I guess I was moving out and moving out of his life.  I thought, subconsciously, I'd leave them as a reminder of me, of us.   
OH and also took all the cards I had given him over the years, wrapped them in a binder and put them in the closet.

When I went back to the house some time later everything was gone.  I asked about the wedding picture, pretending I forgot it he said...rather sheepishly, that he threw it away.   
Said he it was too hard to look at that stuff.   

I never said much but it sure showed me where his head was at.  He just wanted me gone.

[Thunder]

I don't know nah.  Depending on where his head was at the time maybe he didn't even keep it.

[HJJ]

The day after I filed, and served her in front of the OM, she proceeded to place all of my  my remaining belongings in contractor bags on the curb, including every wedding photo in the frame from our master bedroom.

She also took all of my shoes and placed them in bags, EXCEPT for the one pair of loafers that she absolutely hated. They disappeared, although I have seen the OM wearing a very similar pair around.

[nah]

I don't know nah.  Depending on where his head was at the time maybe he didn't even keep it.

That would be too bad.

I was very careful not to make it the "nah show"...there was only one wedding picture and it was a big album.

It was 8 months after BD, so even though we were actively divorcing, it wasn't so raw.  I'm hoping he maybe just shoved it in a drawer. 

Hopefully someday I will know for sure what happened to it.

[Medusa]

Air: Taking the KitchedAid is definitely a divorcable offense. Girl. Its time for you to file!

LP: I vaguely remember your toothpaste story. I think you win the prize!

HAWK: the shoes had home laughing. Clearly this woman is disturbed. No female abandons her favorite pair of shoes.

It is fascinating the things they take and leave. I only mentioned the weirdest, but when he moved out, he took parts of his stereo, a few clothes, and his airplane crap. And the ibuprofen.

He left everything else. I Purged the closet of his clothes. I nicely packed his Corps memorabilia and it's still stored in the basement. He finally has been taking his tools, now that he's got a townhouse.

OP makes great point about why they leave stuff. I've read the anchor check, and that could be part of it, but I also think they are abandoning every aspect of their old life (including clothes) and may also use leaving things as a way of control. Probably a combination of them all.

I am still SMH over the stupid mop bucket. How cheap do they get? He can't afford a fire trucking $5 bucket on his salary of 6 figures x 2? 

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Medusa, you're better than I am. I left all his Marine Corps stuff in the house. I didn't even take the retirement certificate they gave me either. I never did like being a Marine Corps wife. I found enlisted life was hard, tasking, and had very few rewards for the family. In fact, the higher in rank he got, the bigger his head got. And the further up his a*s it got. 

[Thunder]

nah, I don't think my H threw them away for any other reason than he really felt it was over and he wanted no reminders.
He was still in a lot of pain himself.  Pictures of us smiling and making vows to each other was NOT what he wanted to look at.

I don't know if it had been more after the fact what he would have done.  Probably the same.

Plus you have to remember she is with him.  I would bet you money she wanted any pictures of YOU out.   I sure wouldn't.  Like, why are you keeping pictures of your x?  Why are you keeping wedding pictures of you both?
I mean really.  But then who knows, maybe he stuck the album somewhere and she never saw it.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

The KitchenAid was one of the first things my wife took.

I went to make muffins one day and found out my wife had taken the paper cupcake liners. I thought "Really?"

[nah]

nah, I don't think my H threw them away for any other reason than he really felt it was over and he wanted no reminders.
He was still in a lot of pain himself.  Pictures of us smiling and making vows to each other was NOT what he wanted to look at.

I don't know if it had been more after the fact what he would have done.  Probably the same.

Plus you have to remember she is with him.  I would bet you money she wanted any pictures of YOU out.   I sure wouldn't.  Like, why are you keeping pictures of your x?  Why are you keeping wedding pictures of you both?
I mean really.  But then who knows, maybe he stuck the album somewhere and she never saw it.

I had thought of that at the time.  Most of the pics were of him, him growing up before me, many of him and the kids.  I was in a few, I selected them very carefully.

I figured his narcissism would trump any pics of me.  I admit that I did chuckle how that gift arriving at their door on Christmas Eve would put a damper on their first holiday together.  Sorry, girly but your boyfriend is still married and has a family.  Did he say he was never happy?  Funny how he was all smiles. 

Also, he was very close to his grandfather (closer than he was with his father) and his grandfather died before I met husband.  I found some pics in a box of husband and his grandfather from when his mother moved, I didn't even know they existed so I'm sure husband didn't know either.  Even with his MLC, I know his core, those pics for sure hit it's emotional target, maybe not the ones of me, but the others, I know they did.

Maybe they picked the album apart and kept some, threw out some?  Hopefully someday I will find out.

[ArmySpouse]

OP makes great point about why they leave stuff. I've read the anchor check, and that could be part of it, but I also think they are abandoning every aspect of their old life (including clothes) and may also use leaving things as a way of control. Probably a combination of them all.

I think that leaving the stuff gives them a tie to you that they can check to see if you are still connected.

I believe we did have a similar thread to this but I have not been able to find it, yet.

Well if that's the case, and an indicator, than he is totally gone for good... If he would've had a basement of his apartment he would taken the rest too having no excuse to ever come by.

If it wasn't for the kids I don't think we would communicate at all and he indeed would be a vanisher....