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Author Topic: Discussion Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?

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Discussion Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
OP: October 29, 2015, 09:36:12 PM
Hi I have a question for the purple people. How long after bomb drop did your MLCer start to reconnect? How long after bomb drop did they return home?
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#1: October 29, 2015, 09:58:34 PM
purple people????
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#2: October 29, 2015, 10:10:47 PM
Quote from: ember on October 29, 2015, 09:58:34 PM
purple people????
Look at the color of this post, in the subject line.

Quote from: long journey on October 29, 2015, 09:36:12 PM
Hi I have a question for the purple people. How long after bomb drop did your MLCer start to reconnect? How long after bomb drop did they return home?

Why do you want to know?

My guess somewhere from 2-10 years from what I have read.
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#3: October 30, 2015, 04:21:32 AM
You know this thread is like bait for Purple People Eaters, right?  lol
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Thundarr
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#4: October 30, 2015, 04:27:23 AM
It would also be nice to know how well cooked the MLCer was when it happened.
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#5: October 30, 2015, 04:59:15 AM
Quote from: Thundarr on October 30, 2015, 04:21:32 AM
You know this thread is like bait for Purple People Eaters, right?  lol

God help those who love those boys and like wine! ;)
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Married 29 years. Divorced 12/7/16.
BD March 2013
D24, S22, Canine
Moved out November 2013
Bought townhouse for him and OW December, 2014
Mediation began April, 2014, completed June, 2015; round of mediation completed August 24.
My status: done and indifferent
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That's was some f*cked up sh!t! I don't ever have to do that again!

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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#6: October 30, 2015, 10:12:38 AM
Reconnection?  I can't say, it's a process that still goes on today. 
Took my MLC'er four years to decide he wanted back in the family home.
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"If every rub irritates you, how will you be polished?"  Rumi
The person least invested in a relationship has all the power.  
To someone in arrested development accountability appears as authority.  To someone emotionally healthy, accountability appears as security.  Dr. Paul Hegstrom.
Bomb Drops: July 2009,  Departure Sept 2009, Jan 2010 says he's not returning...
Reconciliation with a Boomerang starts March 2013, and is ongoing. Married in 1983 with 4 year absence/separation.
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#7: October 30, 2015, 11:22:57 AM
I'm not purple yet, but it took a solid two years before he said he wanted to try to work things out. By the time he moves back into the home in April it will have been 4 years total since BD.

He is in no way totally finished. He see's some things clearly but he's still foggy and half baked in other areas. I hold my boundaries and am brutally honest in saying what I need to say. He has a LOT of ground to make up but its coming in bits and pieces.

This whole thing has been an exercise in patience!
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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#8: October 30, 2015, 12:59:57 PM
When J decided he wanted to go home it was after 9 years 3 months.  Yes that is nine years, not a typo.  He is a real Galapagos Turtle.  He was as down and out as it was possible to get. 

How done was he?  Not even a crust on the edge of the pan cooked.  He was a big gooey mess.

With ex it was about 3 years.  He is not welcome home.  At first, he reached out to me through friends, very indirect and covert.  Then it was every 6 weeks to two months.  Now it is monthly.  He is still with the OW so not done hardly at all either. 

Best LP
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if people won’t listen to you, there’s no point in talking to people. If they won’t listen, you’re just banging your head against a wall.

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Re: Question for those who are purple...how long after BD did your MLCer return?
#9: October 30, 2015, 02:24:20 PM
 Mine made attempts to return many times…the first within weeks of BD,actually.She was one swirling hot mess,I tell ya.

 Her true return home came around the two year mark after a rock bottom experience.

 Short,by MLC standards,if measuring from BD…but looking back,its easy to see that crisis actually began brewing years before BD.

 "You are always a student, never a master. You have to keep moving forward."-Conrad Hall

 

 
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Me-53
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T-30 years
M-November,2010
3-furry four-legged loving canine kids
EA begins-Jan,2011
Mini BD-April 1,2011
EA goes PA-Sept 2011
ILYBNILWY speech-Oct 2011
PA with alienator 20 years younger confirmed-early Nov 2011
Moved in and out 8 times before getting her $h!te together.

Reconnected November 7,2012
Reconciled,2013

 Big old sun is rising up
So elegant and thin
Another day is over
So a new day will begin
And the word said hey...
It's a brand new day

Eurythmics-A Brand New Day
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