I know makes you wonder doesn't it?
And for anyone to suggest "be patient and kind" through this mess (because they will remember that
) and the kind of spew that comes out of their mouths and utter disregard and mistreatment and lack of respect these creatures have for us as human beings is simply unacceptable.
It's said don't take this personally..sorry I take what happened to me pretty personal.
Their issues are not for you to figure out. You have to figure out why you would put up with what you did or do. What made you think or feel that's the way people treat each other in a loving caring relationship? Or during a divorce? Or even when a relationship is over with?
If you felt used Treasur ask yourself why did or do you feel that way? I'm sure you wouldn't want to feel that way again in another relationship. That's why in OP's greeting it's focus on you.
If someone here feels you had a good marriage and then this happened. Where were you tuned out in the relationship?
You need time to heal and think and focus on you and if you have tried everything except no contact, try it.
Don't answer every phone call or email or text. There is no reason for it.( A mistake I made years ago)
They are getting what they want (the ow/om, whatever in regards to a settlement, their freedom etc) and they are still not happy? Whoa....big surprise there.
For most that post here there is an OM/OW involved. They are big boys and girls. They are making a choice. Cheating is a choice not an ailment. As are any other of their ridiculous behaviors. No one is making them do what they are doing against their will. Do not allow them to create chaos in your life or try to control or manipulate you. Refuse to play this game with them.
Give yourself some time to grieve, heal and think. Have compassion for yourself. Love yourself first. The only way I could get any clarity and peace was to go no contact. It might work for others.