[OverlyAttatchedWifey]

Not entirely sure where to start with this, but I've got some perspective on this subject. A common theme in MLC seems to be running away to the strip club, so I messaged Rollercoasterrider about posting this.

The purpose of this post is to shed some light on concerns LBS might have about their MLCer going to strip clubs. I've been an exotic dancer for nearly 8 years and I would like to clear up any mysteries and answer any questions from other LBS.

I've been hesitant to mention being a dancer, due to the sensitivity of the subject, especially considering I'm a Stander. A large portion of my clientele are unfaithful husbands, and occasionally wives. Like most dancers, it's a stepping stone for me to my desired career, but I can't deny the damage the industry has done.

The work is fast money, but extremely emotionally taxing; the dancer persona serves as a wall that Detaches us from the morally-flexible environment. Younger dancers tend to justify customers not being happy at home. As we get older, it becomes more and more apparent the problem is just as much with them running away from their lives. If we get too attached, sometimes we snap and tell the customer to go home to his wife. They don't like hearing that.

If your MLCer is spending time at a strip club, it's devastating. It doesn't help that these places are full of attractive women, and designed to be addictive. The sheer level of drama and excitement is the perfect bait for a guy whose morals are suddenly shifting.

MLCer's living out their fantasies in one of these places might not be the worst thing in the world, fortunately. The very fast-paced nature of deceit and drama strip clubs are built on are not solid foundations, and MLCer's are in for a rude awakening if they base their Crisis there.

Think of a dancer as a fast-paced version of the OW. Some dancer/customer relationships are just for a few minutes/hours, and some go on for years. They all start the same way though - customer is looking to exchange money for company. The initial meeting is a business transaction at it's core. Very rarely does this lead to real love.

So why does the she have him then? Dancer personas crafted to be extremely "shiny", and we use everything at our disposal - makeup, the way we speak, the way we walk, feigning interest in whatever a customer says, acting as if everything is super fun. However, after a while, depending upon how hard the customer wants to believe it all, the shiny fades and the cracks show. The smoke and mirrors can't be sustained forever.

Usually, a dancer's main goal is to keep him coming in to the club as often as she can handle. It generally boils down to how much she can stand. Dancers are can see instability a mile away, and MLCer's are made of it. That $h!te is contagious.

If MLCer's are only visiting clubs, then the interaction with the dancer OW is contained. That doesn't mean MLCer isn't seeing "real-life" women too, but at least there is a clear line that the dancer only sees him as business.

If MLCer's are meeting dancers outside the club, that's when the line gets blurry. If he's meeting up to take her shopping, then likely he is still on the business side of things in her mind, though it does bring things to a more personal level.

If they're seeing each other frequently outside the club (living together, sex, dating, etc), she may just be a sugar-baby. There are exceptions though; a co-worker of mine met her boyfriend at our club (really level-headed, intelligent girl, last one you'd expect to get tangled up in this). I highly suspect he is a textbook MLCer. It sucks, cause to her it's a real relationship, but to him it seems she's just another toy to distract himself from Mirror Work.

Remember, a relationship that began as a business transaction, forged in an environment of drama and deceit, is rarely more than a ticking time bomb.