[kikki]

Thanks Mermaid for taking my post in the spirit in which it was intended. 

I admit to incredulity at certain comments recently where people thought Brain function was THE cause of MLC, or that there is one cause underlying it

I don't see this at all.  What I see/read is that many believe it to be a perfect storm, and that brain changes are likely but one piece of the enormous and confusing puzzle. And likely as a response to other things going on (hormonal changes etc). I can't answer your survey because I don't believe one reason was more of a catalyst than another.

I am somewhat bemused when you say you think I am now accepting this???

I was referring to acceptance that the philosphy of the Jungian writings may not be a fit for our spouses. Or at least not the whole picture.  In my view, Jung's writings were good descriptors of behaviours, without necessarily understanding what the drivers of those behaviours may have been.

That's true, very true, Kikki. No exit of the tunnel for my H. It also means that I have to see how well I can handle him and our R given my new insight into his degree of narcissism. I'm not sure, Kikki, I'm just not sure I can. It's almost like being faced with BD again. I suppose it makes me feel, deep down, somewhat furious at the simple versions of MLC.

I completely understand this and can relate to feeling angry at the simplistic view of what I term the 'magical unicorn story'.  It's not much of a fit for my situation either.

Agree Mermaid and thank you for your openness and honesty. We are all imperfect people and all come with faults and things we can improve on.  One of mine is that I don't take too kindly to people who tell me HOW to think. I find it furiously annoying. Each to his own I believe as long as it's not hurting someone else. I've always asked why, always questioned authority. Have never taken as gospel what people in authority claim to be the right way.
I don't mind debate but who are each of us to demand how others process and conclude any of this experience.  I find that attitude truly mind boggling.

But despite my open admissions here, while this forum is about open discussion, do you really think  that I should stay silent? I find that very worrying.

Not at all.  Speak away.  I will just continue to be puzzled by any poster who tells others that their thinking is incorrect and that others should tow the line and think in the same way they do.
That's what I find very worrying.

[Ready2Transform]

These last few posts have been very clarifying for me. I will admit to being a bit hackled and bewildered as I too thought it was territory we'd long been over. I feel a lot more perspective now from each of you. Glad we can have a real discourse about it that is respectful.

[Velika]

Velika, maybe the word bipolar should be part of the name? High Energy MLCers have two poles, depressed and manic, like bipolar people. Maybe Acute Onset Bipolar Disorder? Bipolar, of course, includes depressive, but depressive tends to be used towards unipolar depression, the one with only the depressive pole.

The neurological will affect the psychological. Think about stress. Or monthly cycle. Or peri-menopause. Or being pregnant. Or thyroid problems. What about the psychological, will it affect the neurological? Yes, that is why it is better to have positive than negative thoughts. The negative thoughts will negatively impact our way of seeing things, leading to a series of processes in the brain, leading to "seeing everything dark" = being depressed. Then, the vicious cycle will be installed.

Anjae, I think this is a very good description and analysis. My belief is that it is a type of bipolar/like bipolar and it is acute; as you write the high energy is like bipolar and the wallower is like unipolar. I agree as well about neurological affecting psychological. Someone with depression and mania will have less control over their behavior and emotions. Both of the latter can be influenced by childhood, past experiences, etc.

[limitless]

Mermaid, I hate to be blunt, but you've been flying all over the forum in recent days and  it seems that you are now accepting what most of us who have been looking at brain function (as one puzzle piece in the perfect storm that has hit our spouses at midlife), have accepted long ago. That there is likely not a 'magical unicorn tunnel story' for our spouse. 

What I personally witnessed, I believe and have believed for a very long time, is unlikely to ever fully resolve.  This is a man who, if he accepts that he even has health/personal issues to deal with, will likely have to manage himself for life. It would appear that you are now considering this for your situation too.

You have written that one of your main hurts re your husband is his superiority towards you.  Have you considered that you may be unconsciously projecting this onto these threads?  You seem to be trying to convince us all of something that we came to terms with long ago.

 
Kiki,

Good to see you quote.  I trust that you are well!

My experience mirrors yours...I do not see any resolution in my ex's future.....

"That there is likely not a 'magical unicorn tunnel story' for our spouse. " - I truly wanted to believe in a magical unicorn tunnel story.....sigh....

Hugs to you.

L

[forthetrees]

Today on the news- depression = inflammation in the brain and anti-depressants work 50% of the time.
Curiouser and curiouser.

[Velika]

Today on the news- depression = inflammation in the brain and anti-depressants work 50% of the time.
Curiouser and curiouser.

Wow! Totally makes sense. My husband had severe intestinal issued and started taking an SSRI. That's when the MLC behavior started. Exact same with his sister. Since there is an established gut-brain connection this makes a lot of sense.

[Anjae]

Changing, Trustandlove, Ready2 and anyone else reading along. I put your last post from the Biochemistry, Neurotransmitters, and Brain Research IV thread here because they are not on the thread matter.

Please lets try and leave that thread to its subject matter and debate other issues here or on more suitable threads. Thank you.

[Ready2Transform]

Right on, Anjae. Thank you for all you do to keep the forum on point.

[Anjae]

You're welcome, Ready2. In fact, since those replies were to changing, I've moved them from here to her thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8605.0

[kikki]

Good to see you quote.  I trust that you are well!

My experience mirrors yours...I do not see any resolution in my ex's future.....

"That there is likely not a 'magical unicorn tunnel story' for our spouse. " - I truly wanted to believe in a magical unicorn tunnel story.....sigh....

Hi Limitless
Sorry, I'm not on the forum much any more and have only just seen this now.
Thank you, I am as well as can be.  Hope you are too.  This thing sure takes some navigation to remain upright.
I'm sorry that so many of us have experienced such destruction from our H's crisis despite our best efforts to have different outcomes.
It wasn't what any of us wanted. 

Take care
Kikki