[barbiedoll]

I believe I am a new women as I continue to find so many of the missing pieces and gather them together to create Barbiedoll. They will not go together the same way they were catastrophically ripped apart .. it is my transition to before and after Betrayal. I have a back to work date of Jan 16th . I have been off work for 2 years now licking my wounds and spiralling around the darkest place a women can go. I have made an incredibly difficult decision to retire. I am no longer that person . So despite a loss of income, my only feeling of security , my safe place of knowing I can provide for myself and my professional sence of who I am , something deeper is ahead for me . I am a writer deep inside . I had many published articles in my younger days and strongly encouraged to continue to write. But, I put that dream somewhere on a shelf called “ impractical” and entered the fast lane of raising 5 daughters and a fulltime career. I leave that behind now . I am moving into my longings and listening to what really is inside of this new creation. I am incredibly shakey with risk… just goes against every fibre of who I am . But , I choose that to be apart of the old me . The risk … is honouring my journey forward .

I have the full support of my husband . He is excited and believes with out any doubt that I CAN do it. It may be a book he should never read because I am going to write with a freedom I have rarely allowed. I will write as if “ no one will ever read “.

So, getting to the point . I have started some writing classes, I have done massive amounts of research and I know this will not be remotely an overnight journey . This will be about the partners of the person taken from us in a MLC . Only us. Those of US that live, weep and recover on Heros Spouse. It will not be any scientific desire to prove that MLC truly exists. Those of us here already know.

I have permission to ask questions on Heros Spouse . This questions are designed to give a voice to all of you who wish to be heard . Your contributions , experiences and wisdom regarding surviving a lost spouse are meant for future publications. I need every single one of you as you are rich in experience and introspection, support and on your own walk of survival and growth. Can you contribute , can you share ?. You all are the most valuable assets and I stand and applaud the survivor in all of you . Walk with me in this story .  I hope I will hear your responses and have support from my friends here as I “wobbled “ forward . This will be a long long book in the making … but I am ready now .  I AM ready .

[whatthe????]

I am so excited for you!  Imagine the continued healing and learning that can come from such a deep place of raw truth.  What a blessing it is to be able to use your God given gift!

[heroIam]

This is a much needed book to be written.
Ask away!

[Reallytrying]

How awesome! My hope is that the processs of writing is cathartic for you. Happy to help in anyway you need.

[riverbirch]

Barbie, I've thought of doing the same. Maybe it will help get rid of this mess in my head. Everyone sees the physical effects but no one can see the mental stress it has caused. I hate how I am now. Little things can set me off. I need a place for it to go.

Good luck to you.

[Searching4Answers]

Wow barbiedoll - how brave and scary.

I am not surprised to read about your writing skills, you have always written your experiences here in such a way that that it could be truly felt by the reader. You definitely have a gift.

I am sure you will find everyone here on board to help you in any way that we can.

You have come a long way barbiedoll!!!!

[Beacon]

Sounds like an excellent idea. I'm sure with all the stories and experiences on this site the book will help many to come. Best of luck in your adventure. Look forward to reading the finished product.

[karmirtsaghik]

Barbie,
Such a wonderful idea! Wishing you the best of luck. I am excited to be a part of this endeavor in however minuscule role it be.
Big hugs to you.

[Anjae]

Wonderful idea, Barbie. Good luck.

[Never say never]

I am so excited for you!!  I was hoping someone on this forum was going to take that leap of faith and write about the Days of our Lives here on HS:)
You are for sure going to get the most honest answers for your book than you would ever get anywhere else!

Good luck, Barbie:)