[SpecialK]

Like all of us on here, I have been reading loads of stuff on MLC.  I've just been reading through 'The Six
Stages of a Midclife Crisis'  I've also know of a couple of people that have had breakdowns.   

It appears to be me that some of the symptoms are the same.  What are you thoughts.

SKx

[ece711]

This looks like a valid question...  I'm also looking forward to seeing the replies on this thread. 

[justasking]

MLC is a need to visit the past for emotional growth to carry them forward into the next phase of their life.

Throughout they show signs of breakdown such as depression, withdrawal and hitting rock bottom. But it is different. They carry out behaviours to try and heal. Throughout you will see narcissism, bipolar and schizophrenic tendencies though they don't have these illnesses.

In a breakdown the body can take no more stress and closes its self to heal. With MLC they don't break down but keep moving to find what they are looking for, though the journey is torment for them at times. Unfortunately some get stuck in the transition and don't move forward for different reasons.

I'm sure some wise people will be along to give further insight.

[SpecialK]

Something they've I've meaning to ask for a while but why do some people sail through mid life without any problems whatsoever, whilst others go into a crisis?

[SpecialK]

Sorry that was meant to 'Ive, not they've'

[HeartsBlessing]

Something I've meaning to ask for a while but why do some people sail through mid life without any problems whatsoever, whilst others go into a crisis?

It all has to do with growth, and the lessons that are learned throughout life itself.  It seems some people "get it" early, learning what they are supposed to learn long before Midlife, and when that time comes around; it is no more than a "blip" on the radar screen, they've already figured out their goals, where they are going, etc.

These are people who have learned boundaries, learned about themselves, and have pretty well got it together.

You also have the fortunate few whose parents were NOT maladjusted, and raised their children to maturity with values, proper boundaries, etc.

You see we are presented with these opportunities to learn LONG before Midlife..but since people don't recognize these opportunities, or their coping mechanisms are so ingrained that they either fear or don't want to learn something new, during the crisis they are FORCED into learning.

In life, we are taught valuable lessons by people that are put into our lives...and if we don't learn the first time around, we will recycle several times, if needed, to learn.

Anyway...the fortunate few that don't have the problems others do, have ALREADY learned what  they need to know for a lifetime....

Yet, remember, life is ALWAYS full of difficulty, no matter WHAT you learn/know...or even at whatever stage you learn it.

Someone else may have a little more insight on this than me. 

But this is what I know.

[mercury]

I think HB summed it it very well, I'd only like to  add that I think some are more afraid then others to face life lessons and themselves. 

[Trustandlove]

These are people who have learned boundaries, learned about themselves, and have pretty well got it together.

I also think HB summed it up well; the 'learned about themselves' bit is important -- RCR talks about "accomodators"; those that do what is expected rather than thinking through what they want are also at more risk of a crisis. 

It's also to do with having learned about how to solve conflicts.  Those that avoid conflict are more at risk; having not learned to resolve the inevitable issues that crop up in life. 

[SpecialK]

That so makes sense, it's like you've all given me an insight to him.  He had a troubled upbringing, although he was the iddle one, he was 3 born, he was the one that looked after the younger two.  He's always done what's expected (he's a people pleaser),  hates conflict (again because of his upbriging), and would rather run away that face up to things. 

Thank you so much.

SKx

[Mermaid]

I'd like to add that MLC isn't one thing with one cause, but a set of symptoms which look similar in some ways but have a lot of variations in another. They seem to want to get control of their lives, find meaning in it, and say a lot of similar types of things (including ILYBINILWY).

On the other hand, some abandon their families and all responsibilities, have an A, or more than one, NC, etc; others stay at home, maintain their financial responsibilities, but seem emotionally divorced.

In some cases, hormones are to blame; in others, chronic stress; and others have serious maladjustment issues from chilhood. The culture plays a part, so do biology and religious beliefs. MLC doesn't exist in some cultures.