Skip to main content
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 [11]  All   Go Down

Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Who ever thought I would be here? Part 3

J
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 174
  • Gender: Female
My Story Reconnecting Who ever thought I would be here? Part 3
#100: December 18, 2022, 10:07:10 AM
Stopping in to say Merry Christmas 🎁🎄 and Happy Hanukkah 🕎 to all!

It has almost been 7 years since my life was turned upside down.  I can't even believe it and I don’t even know who those people were going through all that crazy!  My H is such a different person.  On Tuesday I had to run errands, Christmas shopping, etc…. He called me as he was leaving work (that alone is something he NEVER did) and he asked me to wait to go shopping bc he had to get a secret Santa gift for work and he wanted me to help him pick it out!  That also was something he’d never do!  He also invited me to his office team building cooking lesson Christmas party!  And when they divided into 3 teams he picked me first for his group.  It probably sounds normal to others….but after years of feeling like I was in last place in his mind…it felt so nice!  And I feel like it has been genuine…in the start of reconciliation it felt more planned.  Like he was doing the right things because of the suggestions from therapy or bc he knew that was what he should be doing. 

Anyway I am just posting an update to just help me journal these feelings but also if anyone is in a similar situation.  Not sure if they should trust again or if things will get easier as time goes by…it does!  Many times I would wonder if I was crazy to give H another chance.  I listened to the “once a cheater always a cheater” comments from others.  But time really is healing the wounds!  And H really is the person he started as, and vowed to be!
Happy holidays everyone!  I hate that we are all here but happy we have one another to lean on!
  • Logged
Me 53
H 53
Married Aug 1996
4 adult children- S24, D22, S20 & S18
July 2014 BD "thinking of divorce, let's go to therapy"
Aug 2014 to Fall 2016 weekly therapy
January 2017 BD he says he's seeing a lawyer about divorce
February 2017 OW confirmed but H doesn't know I know yet...affair began July 2014, when he decided things were bad
February 2017 I filed for divorce
March 2017 H FINALLY  admitted OW and said it was over
May 2017 H moved out
June 2017 New therapist who mentioned reconciliation as an option and we began "dating"
June 2017 dropped divorce case/H fired OW/we began serious reconciliation
May 2018 lease up on apartment and H is back home full time
Currently still seeing therapist once a month, still working through the issues we had with communication that led up to our disconnection
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1765
  • Gender: Male
Who ever thought I would be here? Part 3
#101: December 18, 2022, 10:43:06 AM
Hi TripleJ  :D

It's so nice to hear how they change afterward. Thanks!

Restoration sounds wonderful.....

-SS
  • Logged
W - 43
M - 46
Together 28 years, M 25
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012
s
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1841
  • Gender: Female
Who ever thought I would be here? Part 3
#102: June 22, 2023, 05:03:25 PM
Im so happy to come along and see your update. I always neglect this sight now but I love to see happy stories. I hope you still had a wonderful Christmas and are continuing on your happy journey xox
  • Logged
Me - 31
H - 37
3 children together D6 D9 D11 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019
Pages: 1 ... 9 10 [11]  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.