Wow! I have not updated since Nov! Oops! I have been living and thriving and going and doing and loving life and all it brings.
As far as H is concerned....I have pretty much given up on him ever coming out of this crap. I wish he would heal for his sake. I just no longer have hope for it.
I still observe from afar and that keeps getting further and further away too!
Here is a bit of an update and some comparisons from what I remember. Those memories of years past keep getting more and more vague as time passes.
Nov and Dec: I never invited H for family dinners and holiday events. This was a first for me and it felt weird. I felt like I was being the meanie by not automatically including him, yet, he has shown no signs of wanting to be involved with family so why invite him.
A few days before Thanksgiving....he advised me he was gonna come over and do some work at the house on TG morning. This was his way of inviting himself. He showed...spent time with family. Never did any work.
Christmas...pretty much the same but he did mention about what time we were getting together and when. When he asked...I let him know dates and times. Plans changed and I kept him in the loop.
Last year at the holidays, he was a bump on the log. Sat by himself. Was on his phone. It was him there physically but not mentally.
This year, he was involved. He talked. He joked. He interacted. He PLAYED with the grandkids. Actually froliced with them in the spare room. He had moments when the REAL H popped out.
The holidays passed and he disappeared and has been getting worse since.
He will swing back for 1 or 2 days with good convo and some sharing on his part and then totally disappear. It used to be for just few days and now it is getting longer and longer. Nothing to go over a week or more with no contact.
I don't try during these times. If there is something he needs to know...I write it down and when he pops up...I share then. He has to want to be in touch. I no longer need him to be in touch with me. In fact, sadly, it is less stressful when he does disappear.
So this is what has been happening since November.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other changes with H:
-He applied for jobs. Was offered jobs. Declined jobs. Quit applying for jobs. Said he was happy where he is. Now he is back to applying for a really good job while at the same time looking to buy a business. He still doesn't know what he wants.
- After 6 years of car shopping, he finally bought a vehicle. It is the same color as his sister. Same body shape, he just got the larger version. He thinks it is funny that lil brother and big sis have the same vehicle, except his is the model size higher. Weird if you ask me.
- At one time in the summer/fall, it appeared that H moved in with OW 1 again. His vehicle was spotted there nearly all the time. Many times it was also semi hidden and this was on his days off. Like he didn't want anyone driving by and seeing it. So for months the car was there daily. About a month ago, H started sharing Snap videos showing him at home at night. About this same time, his car was not showing up as frequently at ow1. Amazes me how he has moved in and out of her place at 4 times now and she keeps letting it happen. Sad that she is that desperate to have to hold onto someone who can't even live with for more than a few months at a time and then he runs home to his sister again.
- I saw angry H for the first time in ages. I mean years. Have not seen him this angry since prior to BD when he was ramping up then. Back then I didn't recognize it. What I was was a man who was throwing a temper tantrum because things were not going his way at pb. After the match, he left. Claimed he had a headache and was not feeling well. He got so angry so fast over absolutely nothing He didn't blame me and told me he was not mad at me. He wasn't feeling well and another person there had no right to tell him to calm down after a miss hit.
- He has been complaining about not feeling well and having no endurance after pb. Says he can't even play for 2 hours anymore. Just gets so tired and he has to figure out how to build his endurance. I just told him I was sorry to hear about that and told him that he will figure it out.
- He went on to tell a mutual friend the same thing but went on to say that he gets heart palpitations too and he has been to the dr and all the tests come back normal. Friend is concerned about him and hopes he figures it all out.
There is really not too much going on with the MLC world. Why? Don't know!
I know I no longer hang my hopes on his bread crumbs. He can keep them. I can bake my own bread when I want it. I have moved onto a place that is different for me from where I was last year. It just feels good is all I can say! I like where I am!
Wishing you all the best! Sam!
Onward and Upward is better than Rinse and Repeat!
Author
Topic: