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Author Topic: My Story We’re not married but I think my partner may be in a MLC??

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My Story We’re not married but I think my partner may be in a MLC??
#20: May 16, 2024, 09:39:07 AM
Well it sounds like all that cockiness and arrogance got magnified.
We all have flaws and toxic traits
However there needs to be a limit of what you put up with. You can only be so kind, caring, go -with- the- flow and patient. You teach people how to treat you.
Boundaries

I think you dodged a bullet not marrying him.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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We’re not married but I think my partner may be in a MLC??
#21: May 16, 2024, 12:26:08 PM
We are all very sorry that this has happened to you. Right now, you are still in love with the man you knew and nothing we can say can ease that heartbreak. If we could, we would, bc we have all been there.

You don’t say how old you are? In your 30s? Without diminishing how you feel right now, or the seriousness of your commitment to the relationship, there are some blessings. As in it said, you are not navigating this through the rubble of children or decades of a legally entwined life. Right now, that’s not going to feel like much comfort but in time you will see that it is.

I don’t know if your partner is an MLC situation or just an unfolding of poor character. Hell, I’m not even sure about my own xh, so I’m in no position to judge your situation lol! Each LBS here tends to need a good chunk of time to work that out for themselves. What I will say though is, regardless of that, the medicine is much the same…..accept current realities as they are, lick your wounds, step far away from things that cause you any more damage and step towards things that make you feel even 1% better as long as they don’t create more chaos for you or anyone else. Breathe. Take your time. Do nothing reactively bc feelings are not fixed. Be kind to yourself. And let yourself get to the point when you can get in your bones two simple things….that his actions, MLC or not, are about who he is not who you are….and that there are limits to what any of us can control or influence wrt others, and thus what we should hold ourselves responsible for.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg
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We’re not married but I think my partner may be in a MLC??
#22: May 16, 2024, 04:11:34 PM
It's also pretty normal to remember good times and romanticize the relationship at this point for you.

What you need to come to terms with now is you want someone more honest than he is. Someone who has some morals and character. Raise your standards.
And no this was not a mature normal break up.

I've read that at the end of a relationship is who they really are.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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