[watching and waiting]

Thanks for the reminder that the stages can overlap.
I think it is easy to forget that when we are looking for signs of where they are.
each MLCer is an individual and they are not all going to follow the same pattern.

HUGS

[OldPilot]

Ow and he has already been through all the other phases he had an awakening at the end of Replay and when he moved into depression/withdrawal I knew exactly when he did. He was a clinger and when he went all of a sudden to not talking to me but once every two weeks from him contacting me everyday and coming by when he could then he wouldn't come by at all I knew he was in Withdrawal.
But I know he has ended the Withdrawal stage bc if u go back and read he opened up to me fully for over a month and told me so much about the R with OW and told me not good things about OW and his feelings. I believe he is in the Withdraw from OW and from what I have read many times it brings out the Anger in them and he def is. I do know for a fact that he has not contacted or had any with OW for almost 3 weeks now. If he was in Replay he would of Ran when we have had the last 3 somewhat fights. In fact he said that but he said he was in a different place now and knows he's going through MLC. If he was in Replay none of those things would of happened at all.

What you are describing here sounds like OW withdrawal, NOT withdrawal stage.
So you may be correct that REPLAY might be over, however the crisis is NOT over.
Please lower your expectations.

HE still has three or more stages to go through.
Re-read HB's stages again.

[Sassyone]

Smitty what you describe is exactly what my H went through in August.  It is OW withdrawal and the crisis is far from over.  In August H was nuts but towards the end (after losing his job and hitting rock bottom) he finally made a decision not to leave his family.  Notice I said leave his family.  He came home for the kids and finances, which I am told is pretty typical.  I didn't care at the time, I needed him here and not with her.  The first 6-8 weeks were weird and rocky and withdrawn.  Let him pursue you and keep your detachment.  It is hard because one day they seem so normal and the next they are not. Oh we had fights, big ones and he didn't run (which he usually did before.)  H has told me things about his relationship with OW, not all good and not all bad.  Try to be there to listen, that's the hard part.  Be the lighthouse, there is bumpy road ahead of you.

H tells me now that he no longer yearns to see her, be with her etc., but openly admits that he did and it was rough for a few weeks.  (Yes that sucks and hurts.)

(((HUGS))) Although this stage is better than replay, it is not easy.  Patience is key here and often hard to have because you so want this to be over, but it is not.  Now it is two steps forward and little back and there is some more visible progress.  Keep posting.

[Battlefield]

Thanks everyone for your responses,
 Yes I agree that he is in OW withdrawal. It is def not easy!!!! I can tell that he is prob revisiting as he is moving into acceptance. I do know that is where he is I have experienced the Replay withdrawal/depression. I knew exactly when he broke withdrawal and moved forward.
I know this is OW withdrawal and it is so hard but I am doing my thing with D15.
I have made the decision to just take care of me and D15 everyone else is on their own.
The other day I didn't pick up a single thing by the next evening My H cleaned the whole house while D19 and F did not a damn thing.
I would kick them out but H said this is his house too and he is not going to put them out. I was so confused but he talked to his mom and told her that he felt bad and he knows what it's like bc for a year he lived free didn't have to pay a thing so he knows what it's like. Well that's fine I'm not lifting a hand if he likes it he can pick up after them cook for them be their maid bc I quit!
I know he will come through this and so will I it just takes patience prayer and detach and that is exactly what i am doing.

[Mamma Bear]

Sass and Smitty Thanks for all your insights. Fascinating stuff. Patience, detach and prayer Huh? That's the same for all the stages.  OP I re read the stages tonight. It was funny i came over here and you were recommending that Great stuff!  I like the part with the Archways and Doors.(needs a mini bar) This MLC is a whole different world.

new thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2125.0