[Dontgiveup]

From Standing4Myself

"Now, if there is no OW/OM - then you should absolutely be standing."

The number of MLCers without OW/OM is a low low number.  Part of the purpose of this website is to help the LBS deal with the infidelity that often accompanies a midlife crisis.


"If they part with one OM, another is around the corner."

This is not just true for women, it's true for men also.  The MLCer must go completely through their crisis.  It's not uncommon for there to be more than one alienator for either a male or female MLCer.  See the article below.

http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/standing-actions_contact-and-communication_pursuit-and-distance_mlcer-run-when-alienator-gone.html

[offmyrocker]

Stander
A person who seeks to remain married while his or her spouse is seeking to escape the marriage; legal actions may or may not have been initiated or finalized. Some are Standers by action, while others are strict Standers in philosophy, believing divorce is an immoral action.

You may be a strict Stander, or you may choose to Stand without a strict aversion to divorce, or you may simply be uncertain whether your relationship is worth a Stand. It is for each individual to choose whether to Stand, or whether to step down. Some Standers are for Life, continuing to Stand knowing restoration of their marriages is unlikely. They are the Covenant Keepers, honouring their vows even as their spouse may marry another. Regardless of your beliefs and goals, you are welcome.

This definition above is WHY i chose to be a member here. I wasn't SURE what i wanted. I was already in 13 months at that point. If I was told that this forum was ONLY for people who wanted their marriage back regardless... I probably would have read the articles and not bothered to start a thread. But I felt WELCOMED, REGARDLESS IF I WAS CHOOSING TO FIRMLY STAND.

I was left when i was pregnant. Lost my baby. My home is being foreclosed on... My youngest of
3 is 4 years old.  And yes I filed a divorce. Then I found this site. And because of that... I decided to MAYBE give "standing" a TRY...

I haven't posted on my thread in months because I came to a point in my sitch that I was doubting whether I STILL wanted to stand. I have been cycling with these doubts. And I wanted to start posting again because I really do need the support. With this issue now being the focus on the board... I am reluctant to because of all the "judgements" that are flying around here.

There are so many lurkers out there that are probably wondering the same thing too. Its a shame that we are trying to "segregate" people into groups... We are ALL LBS's dealing with the SAME thing...MLC!!!

[Anjae]

Hello offmyrocker,

I'm sorry to hear your story. Please start posting again. It is alright it you are not sure if still stand or not. I think the dust settled and the  "judgements" no longer fly around.

We are here to support to support each other and, if right now, you need our support, you will have it.

Don't worry about the lurkers. I was one for a long while. They may, or may not, start posting but if they lear something here that is already very good.

So, do tell us more about you and how are you doing.

Hugs,

Anne